Ikigai

“This Japanese concept is a secret to a happy life. “Ikigai” can be loosely translated into “Purpose of life”. It is a combination of what we like doing and what we are good at. It is the thing that motivates us to get out of bed in the morning. But how can we find our Ikigai? We need to try identifying moments when we are so absorbed in a task and forget to eat or drink. It could be music or cooking or writing. Losing ourselves is a sign we have found our Ikigai. After finding these moments, we need to incorporate more of those tasks into our daily lives. This is especially helpful for people who are unhappy at work. What is your Ikigai?” – My friend’s post in Facebook

What is my Ikigai? Boy oh boy! I spent hours thinking about it and came out with a blank. Can it be walking in the early morning hours listening to the chirping of the birds or watching the slow walk of the peacocks in the neighborhood looking for food? Can it be cooking over the weekend telling my wife to stay away from the kitchen? Is it when I take shower standing under the free-flowing warm water and singing some soul-rendering bhajans? Is it when I learn so much from my son describing every minute detail of his understanding of topics of his interest? Is it when I spend considerable amount of time with Orion playing or walking or chatting with him? Is it when I learn from my wife how to feel complete in helping people? Or is it when I hear the humorous anecdotes from my mother-in-law flowing freely from her mind? Reading books is another activity when I feel totally absorbed and when I research something associated with my work, I forget the entire environment.

But can I say with all my heart that one or more of the above activities is/are my Ikigai? Absolutely not. I get distracted while doing the above activities. Chirping of the birds is delightful to listen to but I never take time from my walk to wait for a few minutes to listen to it. Sometimes when I walk, I recite something or even get engrossed in thoughts. Of late, I avoid listening to music while walking. Cooking gets all my attention but I am not sure whether it absorbs me. I do sing bhajans vigorously in the shower with my heart melting in devotion but if that activity was absorbing, I would have reached a high level of spiritual elevation. Apparently, it has not resulted in such a high spiritual elevation. Be it listening to my son or learning from my wife how to feel complete while helping people or even playing with Orion, my involvement is total but I can’t call them absorbing.

Where am I going with this and what is one or more activity/activities that I can truly consider as absorbing and enjoy repeating it more in my life? When I was about to give up, I felt an Aha moment. When it happens, I know my heart and mind are synchronized and agree with each other. Yes. I feel totally absorbed when I do self-observation or self-analysis or introspection or whatever name it is called. I feel very delighted when I recognize my own defects and I lose the entire environment when I am on a self-observation mode. It is easier to turn it on but hard to switch it off. It feels like I am in a deep slumber in a waking state of mind and someone must shake me or call loud to wake me up from that state of self-observation. I welcome when people find fault with me because it induces me to go into self-observation mode.

When I worked in a hostile environment where there were so much of verbal abuse and criticism, it made me stronger because it was a conducive environment for self-observation. After identifying such faults in me, I like to go back and review how many times it had happened in my life. Sometimes, I write it down in a piece of paper and strike it with my pen or shred the paper. It gives me a feeling that I am physically removing those cantankerous thoughts out of my subconscious mind. Many have told me it is not a good idea to recall bad thoughts but what works for me is to recall, write and destroy. The words of praise fans my sense of gratitude whereas the words of criticism fans me to go on self-observation mode and strengthen my intention to be a better person. When someone constructively criticize me, they are saving my time to find my own fault through contemplation.

 

@Rihana

Thank you for your first response. It makes me wonder when you said you were talking about Ikigai with someone today how you would have written a snippet about it and how it would have been received by ILites.

Ikigai is defined as an "act which we like doing and we are good at". When we like what we do and good in doing, absorption is the outcome and we forget what happens around us (it is my interpretation of what is meant by forgetting to eat or drink and not literally). Absorption is defined as "involvement in, immersion in, raptness in, engrossment in, occupation with, preoccupation with, engagement in, captivation with, fascination with, enthrallment with". To me, the list of actions I have articulated in paragraph 2 are acts I like to do and good in doing but I can't touch my heart and say those are defining moments in my life.

I think getting distracted voluntarily is a sign of not absorbed in an action. I agree with you it is difficult but not impossible to do actions without distraction. I believe what we enjoy and good in doing besides being defining moments in life can't be restricted by a schedule. It should be anytime anywhere as long as it doesn't prevent us from doing our duties.

Thank you for pointing out whatever I was trying to convey in this paragraph not only wasn't clear but also didn't meet the criteria of how to ruminate Ikigai. That kind of honest feedback makes my writing better as I write more and more. What I was trying to say was that self-observation is my Ikigai and sometimes it is done on my own will and other times it is induced by criticism from others. Those are defining moments in my life when I learn something new, forget the environment, feel absorption and enjoy doing more and more and feel good doing them.

I hope this response will clarify what I was trying to say.

Viswa

 

Dear Hariji,

The feeling is mutual and I always enjoy all your feedback as well as snippets. My Guru taught me, "You are born to learn not to be born again". If one needs to achieve salvation, one needs to strive to understand why one keeps coming back again and again. The belief that I am visiting and this is not my home can give the determination to strive for finding the home that is permanent. When we travel overseas or locally, we feel very relieved when we come back home and put our head in our own pillow. That happens because of the attachment from "mine". That kind of aspiration we should develop to achieve salvation. Multiplying love to expand many fold towards the kith and kin, neighbors, community, citizens and the humanity eventually dissolve the feeling of "I".

In Karma Yoga, we are repeatedly taught to be skillful in our actions to the best of our ability, do such actions lovingly with all our heart and remain selfless with no expectation of the fruits. When we do that, I believe we will forget ourselves and feel absorbed.

We were taught in the childhood to repeat the name of the Lord as many times as possible everyday so that it would become a habit. I used to wonder why is it necessary. After growing up, I realized that habits die hard and may be that would develop an attitude to pray even when I am ready to leave this world. Frankly, I will be happier if I am engrossed in doing something I love while the end comes. I believe when actions are done with devotion and love, it is 24/7 meditation.

Viswa

 

@Rihana

You mean Thanks Giving and Christmas or just Deepavali? I did clicked like to both your posts. You make me think so much when I respond to you and hence I forget to click like first before responding. By default, I like all of your responses.

Viswa

 

Dear Vani,

Thank you for your comprehensive response and a wonderful pictorial presentation of your thoughts. It is so enriching to read your response. I always long for such wonderful and thoughtful responses that makes everyone of my snippet invaluable. Indeed, you are an artist without which such devotion to Bharathanatiyam won't exist. I am glad you enjoyed your childhood with such a wonderful experience.

Like what Rehman says let all praise go to the Lord. Let others identify you as a great dancer and you nullify the sense of pride with overwhelming sense of gratitude for their words of praise. In your heart, you can always have an affirmation that you are just an instrument being played by the Lord. Our identity is only for others to recognize who we are and we have nothing to do with it. Our own identity is how we feel about us. Who others think we are, who we think we are and who we really are three different identities. The purpose is to explore who we really are eventually.

Your subconscious mind reminding your duties shows your love for your family. You are right. Things can change as we progress in life.

Your pictorial depiction is stunning and I am still reviewing it very carefully so that I can understand it even deeper and practice finding my Ikigai. I can't thank you enough for sharing it and there is so much to learn from you.

Viswa