I wish to be a nobody?

Srama · Mar 9, 2015

Dear JS ma'm,

Thank you for your words. While I have been contemplating on this "I wish to be a nobody" for sometime now, I am intrigued with the idea presented by you - aham brahmasmi. Thank you. I am sure if it is meant to be, I will be guided further to understand this.

Thank you also for understanding in the spirit in which it was written. The little acts leave such a pleasant feeling that we are left with that pleasantness for a long time. We may forget and should rightly do so all the wrongs but these acts will always come back to our mind and bring a smile when we think of them. I have been fortunate to be a recipient of so many such acts. I sincerely hope I have had the fortune of giving as well and have managed to bring a smile. I had an interesting conversation on the same with my DD on our long flight back home.

I love best what you have written here

We want to get on with simpler things, plain love without flattery, no poetic elaborations.
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Thank you!

Srama · Mar 9, 2015

Thank you Scorpio!

Srama · Mar 9, 2015

Dear PS ma'm,

Thank you! Absolutely right, it is the unexpected and form strangers who have no vested interest that makes it that much more valuable - they have nothing to seek back in return and just that heart felt thank you can make their day. I know I know that wishing to be a nobody can be wishful thinking for despite trying to do that, we do get chained with an identity if not by us, by the people around us but it is a fascinating idea and trying to feel that for a few moments a day...well..again I am off with wishful thinking!

Thank you for your FB. Whether it is you or JS Ma'm, I see the experience that is talking and it is precious to me.

Balajee · Mar 9, 2015

Sabitha the legacy business is utter nonsense. How does it concern us whether we are remembered after we are gone. Millions of people are lost in the mists of time so why should we make an effort not to be one of them.Let us be happy with the present moment.

Srama · Mar 9, 2015

Exactly my point Balajee :biggrin2: It is the present, the little things - how we are perceived is not in our hands but perceived we are, by our near and dear ones. It is only us, our thinking, our deeds in the present moment that matters!

Viswamitra · Mar 9, 2015

Dear Sabitha,

Thank you for the profound write up that made me think a lot. I know most of your posts are of the same quality making people think hard. Let me specifically address a few questions and comments you have made in your post to the best of my ability.

How many of us can claim a state of equanimity all of the time, really?
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Understanding the use of this Body, Mind and Intellect ("BMI") complex is very difficult for me. For some strange reason I identify myself with this complex restricting myself to the limitations of this complex. Instead of using them effectively to pursue whatever I like to pursue, I become them myself. Until I separate myself from BMI, I am unable to see the activities of my BMI and experiences they go through. If I have to remain unbiased towards pleasure and pain, I need to watch them outside of this BMI complex leaving my emotions behind. To answer your question, only in rarest of rare cases, I achieve the state of equanimity.

Anyways, in the recent past in our house, the talk often has been about the legacy we leave behind. Honestly speaking sometimes with the ups and downs, all I want to scream is I don't want to leave any legacy. In fact there are days when I am so tired of being 'this' and 'that', that all I want to be is a 'nobody'! Yes, there I said it "I am not afraid to be a nobody".
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I got a wonderful answer in a World Conference on Love I attended five years back. I asked a question about my identity and how to get rid of it so that I can be one with the Self? The speaker replied that let my identity be what others think it is. Let me not get overwhelmed by appreciations nor get depressed by the verbal abuses and remain unaffected by how we are known as. Let us do what we believe is right as long as it does not hurt other fellow beings. In similar lines, let us not worry about the legacy we leave behind nor we try to be nobody. We are the divine being and let us search to be one with that divine being. As long as we try to be this or that even if it is to become nobody, we dwell in dualism.

Whether we wish to be somebody or not, we end up making a difference - giving us an opportunity to give and to receive. And what a blessing it is being in that position - of making a difference and of receiving a grace! Whether we wish to be a nobody or somebody, leave a legacy or not, the fact is we matter and our actions do too, every single day!
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It is the sole identity we have as a soul that matters. As long as we make a difference in someone's life, we achieve unity. Let us get rid of feeling it but experience it. Feeling is mindful whereas experiencing is soulful. One motivational speaker talked about how afraid we are about the spirit as human mind has a tendency to be afraid of formless. But the reality is without that spirit, our own kith and kin try to get rid of the body as quickly as possible. Form continues to thrive to become formless forever. In fact, form came out of the formless and it is the form that leads us to the formless. Performing actions skillfully without expecting fruits of such actions with love and selflessness is what Bhagavad Gita teaches us. After all, reaching the level of sophistication (level of knowledge) that requires no further actions by us that leaves no legacy and no need to come back.

Viswa

suryakala · Mar 10, 2015

Dear @Srama ,

A typical thought provoking beautiful write up which I enjoyed!

Sure we enjoy those nice gestures of upgrading, the long over coat and give way to the tired traveler, the deep love behind the drawing under the veil of explanatory boredom -all give us the moments of 'ups and the breaking of the line' and the harsh winter give us the moments of downs in life.

The intensity, circumstances and the incidents may vary from person to person. The mind experiences that by choice. But the Self watches the experience of the mind and tries to identify with the mind. May be the process of identification if under control consciously go through I this drama, we desire that, "I want no legacy".

Yes, we may not require legacy. But this drama, the Ups and Downs have to be played. The ride has to be completed and started again. Of course with the awareness of being one more role. But the successful actor really plays the role and comes back to Self.

You have brought this out very nicely in the write up.

I very much liked these words.(It reminds me of the last stanza in Wordsworth's poem "The Daffodils".)

Srama said: ↑

[justify]

As I sit in my warm cozy home, exhausted but happy to be home and think of the phrase I wish to be a nobody, the talk of the legacy we should leave behind, I realize in the larger scheme of things, who we are and what we do may not matter but then bring that focus down to that teeny weeny dot that we represent and suddenly we are bigger than that whole universe, no no not from the egoistic perspective but from the human perspective. For the people in that little universe of that tiny dot in which we wield our influence, we do matter for it is the little things that we do and that others do for us that makes us human and bring a smile.! [/justify]
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Rihana · Mar 10, 2015

Srama said: ↑

As the plane taxis and we get ready to get off, he lets us go before him with a "You have had a long day. Please after you" followed by a "Miss! Welcome home!" I do nothing to hide my tears. The gesture, the welcome, mattered.
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Oh I know that "Welcome home, Ma'am." I wonder if I get that when I need it the most, or it is always there, and I only notice is when I need it.

The best time when one is a nobody is in an airplane, and if traveling alone. You are just the passenger in seat 33J : ) at the most qualified by the meal-choice sticker on the head-rest. : )

Welcome home.

Srama · Mar 10, 2015

Dear V sir,

Thank you for your response as always with such detailed explanation. I get it, intellectually and while you have been able to achieve a state of equanimity even if rare, I still find myself to the dance of emotions, mind, matter and what not. It is only after the entire grind when I feel enough is enough, I seem to understand and wished I had started at that point way in the beginning and then I console myself that there is always that ext time. So I am sure, with every experience I am only making progress even if it is only teeny weeny bit...it is progress, no?

As for leaving legacies, I think it is all just stories that I am fabricating with the events in my life.....many more life times to go :biggrin2:

Srama · Mar 10, 2015

Dear Suryakala,

Very beautifully put. I like the way you have explained that how even the self identifies with the mind. I had that aha moment for I was wondering as to where this 'self' was when the drunk monkey was jumping around. To have that self in vision, phew but try we must. You are right again, we may not wish to leave a legacy but the drama will make sure that others see it as one or may be not! How true.

Thank you for your words of appreciation about what I wrote. Between you and me, I am eagerly waiting for that spring. I feel it in my step and in my heart and a little in the world around me and I brighten up. I do want to see those daffodils, so eagerly and re-read Wordsworth and all others....