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I wish to be a nobody?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Srama, Mar 9, 2015.

  1. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    [justify]I have been a roller coaster ride, literally! Well, you are right, it is not the literal one but the figurative one. Now this confusion should tell you the state of mind I have been in. You may be wondering as to how come I am always on a ride. Don't kid yourself, look deep and you will realize that all of us are always on a ride, a high, seeking some thrill or at a low feeling down. How many of us can claim a state of equanimity all of the time, really?

    Anyways, in the recent past in our house, the talk often has been about the legacy we leave behind. Honestly speaking sometimes with the ups and downs, all I want to scream is I don't want to leave any legacy. In fact there are days when I am so tired of being 'this' and 'that', that all I want to be is a 'nobody'! Yes, there I said it "I am not afraid to be a nobody". I cannot help but feel somehow liberated - just being one self, not wanting to leave a legacy, an imprint, most importantly letting go of the feeling that I mattered.

    As I begin to give instructions as to what needs to be done, my DD walks in and goes "Oh mom it is you! I heard the voice and thought who is this angel speaking in our house?" That was all I needed to hear to tear up. It made me realize despite the stress, how I speak, what I speak and how I behave matters if not to anyone, to my little one most definitely.

    As I talk with a young girl standing in line, I realize that not being Indian, she has spent 16 years of her life studying in JK's school because it mattered to her grandfather and the same young girl, seeing a person cut the line, walks up to her and asks her to back off and to wait for her turn. Her grand father's belief in JK's philosophy mattered to her and she standing up for what she believed in the line mattered to all of us waiting for our turn.

    At the counter, a smiling young lad lets my luggage pass through - one way below the weight and another a little heavier. I thank him and he mumbles something as I pick my boarding passes and walk towards my gate. I am exhausted and all I want to do is just plop on to those seats and close my eyes. As I make my way through the business class, looking for my seat number, finding my seat number, I realize that that very same shy lad has upgraded me. As I think of that smile, that shy mumbling, I realized it mattered - his gesture to me.

    As I finally sit on the last and the shortest leg of my long flight, I realize both my DD and I are shivering with cold and why not? After all we are ill equipped for the brutal cold weather as we return home. A gentle man in the next seat asks if we are okay. I smile and explain to him that we had a long flight and that we were coming home after a 3 week stay in India. The gentle man insists that we use his long warm coat till we get warm. As the plane taxis and we get ready to get off, he lets us go before him with a "You have had a long day. Please after you" followed by a "Miss! Welcome home!" I do nothing to hide my tears. The gesture, the welcome, mattered.

    My DS is happy to see me after a gap of two weeks. A kid who has not stayed even a single night away from home has survived the brutal winters alone in a friend's house. As I think of ways to thank my friends, my DS comes to me with a sheet, puts it on the counter with a "Here, can you imagine I was so bored that I even managed to make this drawing for you" and walks away. As I thank God for giving me another reason to tear up, I realize that what my DS did mattered a lot to me.

    As I sit in my warm cozy home, exhausted but happy to be home and think of the phrase I wish to be a nobody, the talk of the legacy we should leave behind, I realize in the larger scheme of things, who we are and what we do may not matter but then bring that focus down to that teeny weeny dot that we represent and suddenly we are bigger than that whole universe, no no not from the egoistic perspective but from the human perspective. For the people in that little universe of that tiny dot in which we wield our influence, we do matter for it is the little things that we do and that others do for us that makes us human and bring a smile. Whether we wish to be somebody or not, we end up making a difference - giving us an opportunity to give and to receive. And what a blessing it is being in that position - of making a difference and of receiving a grace! Whether we wish to be a nobody or somebody, leave a legacy or not, the fact is we matter and our actions do too, every single day! [/justify]
     
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  2. VanithaSudhir

    VanithaSudhir Platinum IL'ite

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    Excellent Write up !
     
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  3. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    VanithaSudhir, Thank you! Your response lit up my face, instantly!
     
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  4. GoogleGlass

    GoogleGlass IL Hall of Fame

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    When your presence makes a difference for good to any relationship, then you are a nobody - no(ble) body - nice one SR.
     
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  5. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Thank you GG as always for your FB. I hear you!
     
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  6. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Sabita,
    Nice to see you back after a long time.
    Yes, the small "freebies" which make a difference in life makes life livable. It doesn't matter whether we are at the receiving end or giving end. We do not do great or big things on day to day basis but these small small snippets (not the snippets on IL) put a smile and a small good feeling in heart. One more thing...we do not plan these things, they just happen. Do we remember all the little little things did for others? We don't. The people who make us smile also would not remember and move on. Little pleasant feeling in the heart remains. These small moments are very precious.
    Good one Sabita.
    Syamala
     
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  7. jayasala42

    jayasala42 Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Srama,
    A great philosophical snippet, though you have couched it in simpler style.
    I am reminded of a poem I read in my school days.

    [TABLE="class: poem"]
    [TR]
    [TD] It's good the great green earth to roam,
    Where sights of awe the soul inspire;
    But oh, it's best, the coming home,
    The crackle of one's own hearth-fire!
    You've hob-nobbed with the solemn Past;
    You've seen the pageantry of kings;
    Yet oh, how sweet to gain at last
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [/TABLE]
    The peace and rest of Little Things!


    Top psychology,ecology,feminism,social action,science, critical
    philos
    ophy,all our postmodern insights matter. But they make things murkier too.
    We want to get on with simpler things, plain love without flattery, no poetic elaborations.

    You have hit the point.You have taken up a basic teaching in a direct practical atmosphere, without additional trappings, with the original spirit in tact.
    'Wishing to be nobody'is a great philosophy of realisng one's own self as'Aham brhamasmi-'When I become 'nobody',that is the Atmasaakshatkaram, explained in a simpler form.
    Leave alone spiritual aspect,, it is better to do small things with perfection -though they may be 'nothings' in the eyes of other onlookers than to attempt a big one in order to claim superiority.
    Indian Institution of marriage' wasformed with this single motive.If everyone takes care of his own family of 4 or 5,the society can take care of a few left over.

    Srama,
    hats off to you for bringing in the wonderful topic on the eve of Women's Day.
    Jayasala 42
     
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  8. Scorpio707

    Scorpio707 Platinum IL'ite

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    Enjoyed reading your post Srama :thumbsup a very thoughtful one...especially the last stanza...
     
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  9. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Syamala,

    When you said,
    I realized that is precisely the reason. By being so spontaneous, it reinforces our faith and makes us that much more happier.

    Your feedback is absolutely right and precious. What you say is true. You know I always love to hear from you.

    Thank you!
     
  10. PushpavalliSrinivasan

    PushpavalliSrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sabitha,
    Unexpected kindness is the more powerful and least costly when received or given. Kindness deepen the spirit and produces rewards that cannot be completely explained in words. It is an experience more powerful than words.
    no
    Wishing to be a nobody-may be a wishful thinking- but not in our control as we are in fetters.
    A nice post,
    PS
     
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