I Wish This Pain Goes Away

I wish this lain goes away

I thought things were getting better

With singing Gayatri Mantra
With reciting So Purkh
With 10 minute meditation twice a day

But today I am getting hirrible thoughts again

It's been more than two years since the betrayal
And now I imagine myself being aggressive with people who will be nice to me in India
Because they simply cannot be trusted

I'm not saying people in USA are saints
Because people are people everywhere

It's just that different situations shows a persons colors
Regardless of person's race, religion, color, ethnicity


I wish for this pain to go away

Money will not help
Virtuous husband will not help
Obedient children will not help

I wish this pain go away

It especially comes up in the kitchen and when I am doing hard exercise.


honestly I am looking for 10-day Vippassana retreat nearby .....

This is too much to bear.....,..


At one point early this year I was in love with Punjabi culture, making paintings. As soon as I found other interests that love stopped.

Maybe it wasn't love, it was just a mirage.

i just wish this pain go away and I get peace .... it's worth more than all the wealth in the world....

 

It takes real bravery to even say that.