I wanna save this marriage but dont know how !

Hugs to you....i completely understand you..........

Most of the MILs are like this...and i too can not understand how can they love their sons, if they can't see them happy with their DILs?? knowingly or unknowingly they are destroying their lives.....

 

you let him know, very clearly, that you have not waited for 4 years and married him to go back to Poland!! You mean to stay and right here with him....So he better figure out a way to live life happily with you and also taking care of his responsibilities for his mother. How he will do it, that he will have to figure out. I am sure he also didn't get married to you to send you back to Poland...right?

 

hugs to you

Am also in the same situation like you.i too dont know how to handle this situation exactly.
One thing I want to tell you is dont belief his relatives.they know if his mom away for some time he miss his mom like any thing.you both will not be happy if his mom is away.i think thats why they planned like this.
dont react for his words.keep quiet.behave in a manner as if his mom is around you.dont show any happiness or feeling free like his mom is not there and at all.

ignore him like anything for time being.dont even try to speak to him.

 

I am starting to think marriage is a big load of bull. I am sorry I am having a bad day.

Seriously, stop and think. Think carefully if things will change for the better or for the worst if you keep being a second wife to him.

 

Well.. You being European, I find the language to be not so great.. Just wondering, whether this post is for real..:coffee:confused2:

 

Do you want to sacrifice best years of your life to change him? Do you think he is worth your life your self esteem? Then you stay or quit. Its good you came to know this before having kids. Its better to move on now than being single mom.....

 

Well .. u said it.. u married a boy, not a man...

what can u expect.. just bear and drag along or make a sincere final effort to change him.. if he can't change, then think carefully if it is worth the fight and decide...

 

Wow Poland very nice country, relatives of mine travelled there and a close friend does phd there too, every one including me as i met polish people too say you are very warm hearted hospitable people. your hubby should be lucky to have such wonderfull lady as his wife. You gave up so much travelled over half the globe, resattled in a different country and all to be with him. You seem to be very brave that you have done all that.

To answer your question, yes its often like that with mommies boys.... sorry.

What you can do now your Mil is in a relatives place IF you wish to fight for your marriage. Make sure you wont nag or start discussions, dont allow him to fight with you, if he picks a fight react calm and get out of his way. Inform him that you do understand this is a big change for him but so it is for you and the initial stage of marriage is always to be done with adjustments. You respect the situation is new to him and he needs to get used to be closer to you then his mother but you expect him to take effort as well, as you did walk a long way already you expect now something from him too. Do your chores like usual. You can suggest him some activities to do together for better bonding, do you think he would respont then? Basically i would give him time now. If he watches a movie prepare some snacks he likes and join him, if he just keeps on sitting there try to iniciate softy some activity like movie etc.
Actually i think its more rare that the Mil leaves the place so you should use this time in your favour. As you are newly weds you can try to bit romantic with him too, he might realise its far better to have a wife then a mommy.