I sighed with a little relief....

Shanvy · Jul 13, 2008

I sighed with relief. Believe me it was like a big hand that was squeezing my heart lifted. Wondering what it is. Nothing great. The case of the Aarushi murder where, Rajesh Talwar, the father, was arrested as a suspect. And he has been released stating he is innocent.

Now you all must be wondering why should I be relieved. It so happened, my son has been reading this news, and also there had been discussion at school (ofcourse this cannot be avoided), and was upset. The same time, there were flashes of parents killing their children, born and unborn.

He raised a pertinent question. Why have parents become so ruthless without any love and affection that they do no mind killing their children. And also about children killing their parents. I seriously did not have a answer. A boy of 10 years asking me questions that have been raging a war in my brain for quite some time.

Forget the Aarushi case, now it is come out clear that the servants were the culprit.Now I can tell him not all fathers’ are bad.

But for the past few weeks I have been reading about parents joining the villagers and hacking their kids because they got married someone who was not suitable.

And also about parents who forced the girl to consume poison after being denied the right to get married to a boy of her choice. The boy, on the other hand, left the village along with his family, fearing reprisal and the reason they all quote is FAMILY HONOR and also justify the killings as killing for honor.

I really do not understand what is honor here. But killing in the name of honor is something that is prevalent all over the world, not only <st1:country-region><st1lace>India</st1lace></st1:country-region> but is more prominently noticed in Islamic countries.. The UN estimates talk about a whopping 5000 + women who becomes victims of this each year and this does not include the ones that go unreported.

What is dishonor according to these ruthless people .. ..it is refusing to marry or going against the family and marrying on their own choice, sexual assault. The one thing that really hurts me is that when a woman is already raped, or assaulted sexually, how come she is dishonoring the family and why not the person who has assaulted her being killed.

“Whomever has not sinned, throw the first stone” is mentioned almost in all the religions
And though it is more seen in Islamic religion, I really doubt if there is any teachings that say you should kill in the name of honor ..

The other appalling thing that hits your senses, though the killing is usually thought to be done by the men in the family and in most cases the fathers, brothers and husbands are the perpetrators, it is also seen the females in the family are also involved. (And I was aghast at the hearing the mother say my daughter deserved it, when she was questioned about her involvement in hacking the daughter for getting married to somebody) . In few Cases the whole village supports the same.

Every time, the governments and organization raise their voice against this, and also try to frame rules against these killings they get to much opposition from groups.

I feel honor killings are a way of escapism, barbarism and easy way out for the parents and families. I still strongly believe that it was never a religious practice but a curse of the developments. And it is something the whole world has to join hands against.

Jananikrithsan · Jul 13, 2008

Dear Shanthi,
I have been following this case too what ,amazing twists and turns. Why are such things happening, blame it on Kaliyug? Just today I went thru an album of Aarushi in NDTV.com: Latest News, e-Bulletins, Stocks, Bollywood, Cricket, Video, Blogs, RSS from India and you could see the family shared such a close bond like any other. If the servants were the culprits then why make her dad face all this. I think this is like the Louise woodward case, where she killed a there old indian kid, being his au pair, has been given wide publicity and had raked up a lot of unwanted comments form so many quarters. Aarushi's mom is whom I feel pity for with her husband being in jail and kid murdered she must have gone thru hell.
In a village I read somewhere the father amrrie dhis own daughtera dn got her pregnant. He has been taken to task nut what happens to the kid who has been physically abused by her own dad.Another case where a tailor on the pertext of giving sweets to the kids in his buliding forced himself on thema dn they were caught screaming and then somehow managed to escape with blood stains on their clothes aged 5, 6, 8, 10 what could they have done against a brute like this is anyone's guess. What is the world coming to with such incidents that shake up your being??

jaishree9 · Jul 13, 2008

Dear Shanti
You are very right that honour killing is almst everywhere.Most of the time murderer is a known person & many times a blood relative.
But the role of police & media was totally negative in Arushi Case & very successfully they have destroyed a happy family . They turned it in a cheep thriller & made Dr talwar accused ,while he was a grieving father and now they are having a U turn with a sympathic note in their voice when talking of Dr.Talwar but then can it Wash the dishonor they brought to the couple.

Anandchitra · Jul 14, 2008

shanvy said: ↑

I sighed with relief. Believe me it was like a big hand that was squeezing my heart lifted. Wondering what it is. Nothing great. The case of the Aarushi murder where, Rajesh Talwar, the father, was arrested as a suspect. And he has been released stating he is innocent.

Now you all must be wondering why should I be relieved. It so happened, my son has been reading this news, and also there had been discussion at school (ofcourse this cannot be avoided), and was upset. The same time, there were flashes of parents killing their children, born and unborn.

He raised a pertinent question. Why have parents become so ruthless without any love and affection that they do no mind killing their children. And also about children killing their parents. I seriously did not have a answer. A boy of 10 years asking me questions that have been raging a war in my brain for quite some time.

Forget the Aarushi case, now it is come out clear that the servants were the culprit.Now I can tell him not all fathers’ are bad.

But for the past few weeks I have been reading about parents joining the villagers and hacking their kids because they got married someone who was not suitable.

And also about parents who forced the girl to consume poison after being denied the right to get married to a boy of her choice. The boy, on the other hand, left the village along with his family, fearing reprisal and the reason they all quote is FAMILY HONOR and also justify the killings as killing for honor.

I really do not understand what is honor here. But killing in the name of honor is something that is prevalent all over the world, not only <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 /><st1:country-region><st1lace>India</st1lace></st1:country-region> but is more prominently noticed in Islamic countries.. The UN estimates talk about a whopping 5000 + women who becomes victims of this each year and this does not include the ones that go unreported.

What is dishonor according to these ruthless people .. ..it is refusing to marry or going against the family and marrying on their own choice, sexual assault. The one thing that really hurts me is that when a woman is already raped, or assaulted sexually, how come she is dishonoring the family and why not the person who has assaulted her being killed.

“Whomever has not sinned, throw the first stone” is mentioned almost in all the religions
And though it is more seen in Islamic religion, I really doubt if there is any teachings that say you should kill in the name of honor ..

The other appalling thing that hits your senses, though the killing is usually thought to be done by the men in the family and in most cases the fathers, brothers and husbands are the perpetrators, it is also seen the females in the family are also involved. (And I was aghast at the hearing the mother say my daughter deserved it, when she was questioned about her involvement in hacking the daughter for getting married to somebody) . In few Cases the whole village supports the same.

Every time, the governments and organization raise their voice against this, and also try to frame rules against these killings they get to much opposition from groups.

I feel honor killings are a way of escapism, barbarism and easy way out for the parents and families. I still strongly believe that it was never a religious practice but a curse of the developments. And it is something the whole world has to join hands against.

Click to expand...

Shanthi
I have not been following all these in the news.. so its come very shocking to note it all..
Its sad abou the honor killings.. this has been going on for as far as I can remember..
I am also aware many women are involved in killings.. even in the female genocide women are the perpetuators for the most part..
Ofcourse there is no such thing as honor killings.. and like you say some group begins an opposition to this!
I dont know if the whole world can join hands on just this.. because this is happening throughout the world! sometimes worse.. I try not to watch the news channels. A few years back in Florida a child molester raped a 9 year old and buried her alive.. last year some men broke into a poor housing society and made the son perform a sex act on his mother.. they showed it on t.v. the news I mean.. as far as I know nothing much was done as followup.. where the world focusses on Britney Spears and the like.. I dont think the day will come when I can sigh in relief.. this is the world today!

meera2503 · Jul 14, 2008

Shanti,

It is good that in Aarushi case,justice has been done,if it can be called justice.So we can assure our kids ,like you said, that not everyone is bad.

The papers blow the issue for a while,till they get some other news to print in headlines.But what about the grieving family and the father's humiliation ?

Sriniketan · Jul 14, 2008

shanthi,
You know only the 'women' are being treated like this...another best eg. is the ghost story, and they torture her so much....it cannot been imagined....very bad...in the name of honor....tooo bad...
I don't have any statistics regarding the dowry system....but to some extent it has been reduced.....but to some extent only in some circles....
In a way, if an awareness been brought out...there is a slight chance ...but first one should get rid of superstitions...in the mind of the people, doing such acts...

with the exposure of such news, children get confused regarding the true nature of relationships...

sriniketan

Lalitha Shivaguru · Jul 14, 2008

Dear Shan,

A very desreved relief for all parents as you rightly said it is difficult to calm these innocent minds as to why parents themselves are killing their off spirings. The days Rajesh Talwar was in the custody and the bad name he earned will the officials bring back that? The days of torture, emotional and physical cannot be undone. Agreed it is part of the investigation but can people just now say he is innocent after so many days in custody...........

What you say about rape is what I always thought of. Why the women is punished for no fault of hers. Isn't our society acting like an MCP. It is so disheartening when everybody says women is eing placed on a high pedestal but in reality she is just an object of sexual desire. This is where I feel that people avoid having a female child !

Maybe we can explain to our kids that this kind of reality do exist as we are going to see this more often. Let them face the same with an open mind.

Mindian · Jul 14, 2008

dear shanthi,

well written post though i have not been following the cases..yes these killings can no way be called honor killings and is always going on in one part of the world or the other...sad that children talk about such news and u just cant prevent it too....with the exposure that they have these days they talk about everything at a comparitively young age...how long can we shelter them from the harsh realities of life...
Mindi

kanaka · Jul 14, 2008

Dear Shanti,

Aarushi case is not that simple. One simple question-How can educated parents wash off those clues on the pretext it was done with the blessings of the police. real story is not what we read. kanaka

Shanvy · Jul 15, 2008

Jananikrithsan said: ↑

Dear Shanthi,
I have been following this case too what ,amazing twists and turns. Why are such things happening, blame it on Kaliyug? Just today I went thru an album of Aarushi in NDTV.com: Latest News, e-Bulletins, Stocks, Bollywood, Cricket, Video, Blogs, RSS from India and you could see the family shared such a close bond like any other. If the servants were the culprits then why make her dad face all this. I think this is like the Louise woodward case, where she killed a there old indian kid, being his au pair, has been given wide publicity and had raked up a lot of unwanted comments form so many quarters. Aarushi's mom is whom I feel pity for with her husband being in jail and kid murdered she must have gone thru hell.
In a village I read somewhere the father amrrie dhis own daughtera dn got her pregnant. He has been taken to task nut what happens to the kid who has been physically abused by her own dad.Another case where a tailor on the pertext of giving sweets to the kids in his buliding forced himself on thema dn they were caught screaming and then somehow managed to escape with blood stains on their clothes aged 5, 6, 8, 10 what could they have done against a brute like this is anyone's guess. What is the world coming to with such incidents that shake up your being??
Click to expand...

Janani dear,

The media's dirty circus was too visible. there was one private channel that showed how the media was harassing aarushi's mom to come out and talk. they went to the extent of saying she is acting and they are enjoying inside the house...

The recent onslaught on kids is really scary. you are now in a position wondering and Witsend how to teach your child survival against all these odds.