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[I]Maika[I] ..(Mother's house)

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Mindian, Feb 6, 2012.

  1. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    At the outset, I must mention that I have never been one of those women who say “Ohhh My mother’s house….. It was great to be pampered for a change; to eat, and sleep without any responsibilities.”
    Not that I have anything against women saying such things, just that I am too independent and speak nothing but the truth when I say that next to my immediate family, I love my home more than anything else. The only pampering I allow myself to indulge in my mom’s house is her freshly brewed coffee handed over to me with the TOI, late mornings and not bothering to plan the day’s menu. Anything she decides is fine with me and in fact, half the days I take over the cooking as I feel happy to be doing something for her.

    The home I grew up in was in Mumbai and my parents shifted to Bangalore years later, after my marriage. Therefore, I felt no great attachment to this new house. Though it is a very posh independent house, to me home was always the two-bedroom apartment I grew up in Mumbai. So much so, that if mom mentioned any hardship she had encountered in that house I would get all defensive and emotional.

    I have always been my father’s daughter and during my recent visit to India, within minutes of reaching home I felt his presence (or absence?) so much in everything I saw there that I broke into huge sobs much to the surprise of all around me. Anyway, certain facts must be accepted, so I just busied myself with mundane things until I felt better.

    I have only my parents and their friends as my friends there, and somehow the bond I had with the building inmates of our old home was so different. Nevertheless, I believe in moving on and making new friends, so I learnt to love the new place for its comforts and beauty. I had a lovely stay and attended a wedding from my hubby’s side of the family. My mother enjoyed the company of her granddaughter and generally fussed over her, which was fully reciprocated by the traitor, who often went “Ammamma’s cooking is so nice, nah?”

    Anyway, the ten days just flew and this trip was memorable for also one very good reason… mom and I never had an argument,not even once.
    Yippppeeee... I had grown up at last!!

    And when the time came to leave, as always I held back my tears with great difficulty. It was only during the flight that the rather dense me realized “mothers house” was a very abstract term, and not at all meant in the physical sense. It refers to that special bond which one has only with their parents. The house, the comforts or the lack of it, the fact that someone else cooks for you or lets you sleep, all does not matter. One is transported back into an era that now remains only a faint memory. However old one gets, one is always a child in their mother’s house, and when we reconnect with this child within us, we feel happy and relaxed. As simple as that !

    I could not help remembering with a smile a conversation that I had had with my late MIL. When I was newly married, I used to go and visit my parents every weekend. Once when we were listening to this lovely song main toh bhool chali babul ka desh piya ka ghar pyaara lage from the very old movie Saraswathi Chandra my MIL had this to say, “See, one must be like this in their new home.” And I had replied, “I love the song, the music and maybe all the other lines too but will never agree with the first line. Why should anyone forget their first home just because they have a lovely home of their own?” More than two and a half decades later, I realised that thought has still not changed.:)
     
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  2. satchitananda

    satchitananda Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Mindi,

    so well said. I can full well understand exactly what you mean. Whenever I went back home, I used to wait for the door to open and dad and mom would be there with a grin and a "vaango" said in a special tone which I can still hear. After dad passed on, home never felt fully like home. Now mom being in the state in which she is, she is with my sister, the house is locked and I dread going to Pune. I feel petrified of being haunted by memories of old times which will never return.
     
  3. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

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    That was so good to read. Brings back so many memories and looking forward to many many more.
    And very true, its not the physical form of it. Its the love and trust and all other inexplicable wonderful feelings that gets me all sad when I have to part with it. :)
    Thanks for sharing :).
     
  4. knbg

    knbg Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Meeti Mindi.....

    What a sweet post dear.......:)

    Home.....where we grew up......and pampered by parents........is so so sooo special......

    I grab every faintest trigger.......be it a song from those year....or food of those years......( Mango sambar , Drum stick sambar , pudhina chutney......always take me to my childhood summers.....instantly......) to go back there.......Glad to know about your visit.......

    And, Grandkids are always special to them.......My dad keeps saying.,"When you were a child, I was busy, and did not worry much if your had cold or flu....but, with my grandson, I can't be like that...."

    I am typing this feedback, listening to " Babul ki duayen leti ja" from "neel kamal".....:drowning
     
  5. aparnag

    aparnag Platinum IL'ite

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    It was too good to read.. Some way you made me feel nostalgic!!!!
    Nicely written....
     
  6. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Mindi,

    nice write up and loved the way you have expressed. I want to say more and for a change I do feel tongue tied. So let me sign off saying glad you had a good time at your mom's house and may you continue to have the joy of both the homes :)
     
  7. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    hi Sats,
    I am sure you can relate to my post:) yes,though it was a lovely visit the haunting thought that things will never be the same again without Dad keeps coming suddenly at times.anyway I am now thankful that mom is still healthy and there..I had taken their presence for granted before.
     
  8. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    hi tanoshi,

    I have met you before in my posts.:)

    So glad that you could relate to what I expressed. Wish you many more lovely stays with your parents and happy memories of the same.:cheers
     
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  9. sushmavja

    sushmavja Platinum IL'ite

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    mindi,
    such a touching post..am planning for a trip to india in a week or two and i feel nostalgic after seeing your post..but having a busy schedule of marriages and few functions at my ILs place am not sure how long i can spend at my parent's place :(
     
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2012
  10. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    My dear Mindi

    After you came back from Bangalore I was waiting to read your new thread. Right enough you have written such a wonderful post which will bring everyone their childhood memories.

    In my maike my grandmother was like a mother to us and used to fulfill all our wishes. Though now I have grown old and both my grandmother and mother are not there, I miss them very much. Sometimes when I feel low I feel sad that they are not there to welcome me. I was pampered a lot my by grandmother and always used to fulfill my wishes.

    Glad to know you had a lovely time at your mother's house.
     

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