I Love This Doc, Do You?

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by varalotti, Apr 12, 2006.

  1. varalotti

    varalotti Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    [font=&quot]I Love this DOCTOR!!!![/font][font=&quot] [/font][font=&quot] [/font]Best medical advice I've had in years!
    [font=&quot] [/font] [font=&quot]HEALTH[/font][font=&quot] QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION[/font]
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    Q: [/font]
    [font=&quot]I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? [/font]

    A:
    Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. [font=&quot][/font]

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    [font=&quot] Q: [/font][font=&quot]Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? [/font]
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    A: [/font]
    [font=&quot]You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. [/font][font=&quot][/font]

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    [font=&quot] Q: [/font][font=&quot]Should I reduce my alcohol intake?[/font][font=&quot] [/font]
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    A: [/font]
    [font=&quot]No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit.[/font][font=&quot]Brandy[/font][font=&quot] is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of th e fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. [/font][font=&quot]Beer[/font][font=&quot] is also made out of grain. [/font][font=&quot]Bottoms up![/font][font=&quot][/font]

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    [font=&quot]Q: [/font][font=&quot]How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?[/font][font=&quot] [/font]
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    A: [/font]
    [font=&quot]Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.[/font] [font=&quot][/font]
     
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  2. varalotti

    varalotti Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    [font=&quot]Q: [/font][font=&quot]What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? [/font]
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    A: [/font]
    Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good ! [font=&quot][/font]

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    [font=&quot]Q: [/font][font=&quot]Aren't fried foods bad for you?[/font][font=&quot] [/font]
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    A: [/font]
    [font=&quot]YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!![/font][font=&quot] ... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?[/font] [font=&quot][/font]

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    [font=&quot]Q: [/font][font=&quot]Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the [/font][font=&quot]middle?[/font]
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    A: [/font]
    [font=&quot]Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.[/font] [font=&quot][/font]

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    [font=&quot]Q: [/font][font=&quot]Is chocolate bad for me?[/font]
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    A: [/font]
    [font=&quot]Are you crazy? [/font][font=&quot]HELLO[/font][font=&quot] Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around! [/font][font=&quot][/font]

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    [font=&quot]Q: [/font][font=&quot]Is swimming good for your figure?[/font][font=&quot] [/font]
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    A: [/font]
    [font=&quot]If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.[/font] [font=&quot][/font]

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    [font=&quot] Q: [/font][font=&quot]Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?[/font][font=&quot] [/font]
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    A: [/font]
    [font=&quot]Hey! 'Round' is a shape![/font][font=&quot][/font]
    My niece in Delhi forwarded this to me. I enjoyed it. Hope you will too.

    Varalotti
     
  3. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sridhar !

    I liked the swimming-whales best !
    In South India, all said & done (your last answer) -ROUND AZAGU THAAN! Who does'nt adore Khushboo ?
    Love & regards,
    Chithra.
     
  4. Shal

    Shal Senior IL'ite

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    Hearty laugh!!

    That was some food-for-thought!!! I liked the swimming, whales answer the best too!

    Reminds me of my maiden days when I was more than just plump(!!!), and my mom would console(or tease!!) me saying, "Nee oru aanai kutti, aanai elachaa nalla irrukuma??, so you be this way only darling"!!!!!!

    -Shal
     

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