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I have starting hating my husband...

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by bliss5, Mar 10, 2016.

  1. deepthyanoop

    deepthyanoop Gold IL'ite

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    I don't know what to say dear...

    Please have a look at SGBV's post. I know it will be really difficult at first to make it all practical. But give it a try dear.I really wish you from the bottom of my heart, let all your problems be solved soon...Stay strong and confident best wishes and regards
     
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  2. bruised234

    bruised234 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Op,
    I don't know if yours is a love or arranged marriage. In any case, hating the husband will do no good, let me assure you that. Even in moments of anger don't think of separating from him or anything like that. I was so so troubled in the past, I never used to be in the right frame of mind when I used to pray. Maybe one such moment I must have thought something stupid, that is why I am facing so much music now. We can't expect husbands to be like in the movies, such people exist very rarely. And for them to be like that, we also have to be like the women in the movies. Neither is possible. Think about it. If you hated him so much, why did you have kids with him? I am not telling you to bear all this. Just don't let it get on you, that's all I can say. I am having such a bad time now, both in and out of my house... if I look back now, I feel there were lots of things I could have handled much better. Those problems look minuscule now. Nothing compared to what I feel like right now. Always remain calm, husband ignoring you, MIL behaving badly, all these are common, they are not worth the time thinking. Please take care of yourself and don't think about separating unless you seriously mean it. Going away in a fit of anger will not solve problems. Facing them and solving them one by one will fix the issues. Pray that you see the light and end to your problems. Don't get into a situation where you feel guilty about having done something. Divert your anger towards self-improvement instead of having negative thoughts. What if one fine day, you get shown the door? Think of that moment and how would you feel then and decide accordingly.
     
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  3. bliss5

    bliss5 Senior IL'ite

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    You are right ......i don't actually hated him but i hate that fact that he do not acknowledge the fact that his mom hurts me........ intentionally......he says talk to her resolve it yourself....but she will never ever accept ....infact she will very nicely mould the said things..........and blame me that i must have misunderstood.
    i hate him when he just do not know what to say when i am disturbed.......but he also says something in his mom's tune n voice ......i feel he just cant take a stand.......and he will not do anything ever........even if we move from here ...he will invite them too ......so i feel getting a transfer is the best thing .......we will not be separated but little apart and my be he realizes.........
     
  4. bliss5

    bliss5 Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you ladies ........your precious advice and suggestions were very useful.........most importantly i did not feel alone and there were so many people who understood my situation and i can share my feeling without any fear.
    THANKS ONE AGAIN
     
  5. twinklingstar

    twinklingstar Gold IL'ite

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    dear OP

    i understand ur situation and consider your reason for hating. but as many members here suggested not to separate so soon unless and untill it really becomes intolerable. separation is simple but along with it u will double with your current responsiblities and your stress level. atleast ur children are safe now and you have helping hands.
    also i was some what in same situation with ILs sometime back. i did counselling and was suggested to use "STOP" therapy. in this whenever any negative or stupid things or incidences u remeber about them which will increase ur hatred tell yourself to stop..and this practice takes time but gradually u will feel relax. and before sleeping or whenever u get time take deep long breath and when u will release breath think all the negativity along with it is releasing.
    rest all above members have suggested and i will request you to imply them and give life for yourself and ur children. pls dont ever let them suffer because of ur this unfortunate part of life.. rethink about them and ur life and live accordingly...all the best dear and all my wishes and prayers will always b with you.
     
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  6. Aman11

    Aman11 New IL'ite

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    I think you need a break u should fill the form and make your husband realise your importance.when he have to live without you and kids then may be he will be able to understand what priorties he should hsve
     

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