I Hate My Husband

I have started to hate my husband . I feel that hes made for his side of the family only . He cares for his parents and his sister all the time . He does care for me and kids . but nothing for my family.
I dnt expect him to do anything for my family, but he creates a problem for me all the time if im doing something

my sister had a baby and now in summer vacation , i wanted to go see them. I dnt expect him to go at all.

When i told him , he said we should go visit his sister too ...i said ok to that as well...now he has created this thing that he wants to go to india or go for some vacation with his family and because of that all the conversation etc is all about his parents /their health and the trip with them etc....he wants to take them somewhere for a vacation and is making plans on if they can meet us somewhere like singapore, middle east etc ....i'm not sure if hes thinking of calling my parents too..that is another story ..why would i go all the way and not meet or take my parents for vacation???? of course i will and whenever i will bring this up , i have no idea how he will react ...

he never take any vacation with my family ..my sister has asked so many times about hawaii costa rica etc and he always says that he wants to go alone with just me and kids...

i'm so sick and tired of this person and i hate him so much ....
for the past few years i have been trying to change and let him do whatever he wants but 1. he never let me d what i want , he always interferes and create this sulking face ....

and also he wants to do things for his family and involve me and kids all the time...how can he expect me to do everything and he can ge away by not doing anything for my side of the family.

on top of that he is a very difficult person to live with ...i found my way around it but i feel so trapped with him...i dnt enjoy mos of my time with him . Hes always thinking of his parents and his sister all the time ...they are his life.when it comes to spending, he does not ca at all if the money is going for them but for my family he just stays quiet or if i'm doing something then he tries to disrupt things for me and create this tension and trouble all the time .

 

Yes exactly .. he’s not ready to give up.. if I do things with my family his jealousy is so obvious and he create this sad environment / fights at home .. he want me and kids to be with his family but from his side he does nothing for my family. When I tell him that it becomes a fight and a blame game ...
he has this nature where he does not talk or open up to anyone except his family , his parents and sister. For his the world is only these 3 people and me and kids . He is such a nasty person and does not even realize how mean he can act in front of my family and he calls himself being nice .. his idea of being nice is saying hello to my parents or my family when I give him the phone or when they are in front of his eyes ...

I wish someone had a solution for me ... the only closest advice I have got is to be independed and do very little in my means for his family .. he does not even let me do little .. if I do little then he catches that I’m trying to stay away from his family and creates a havoc and blame falls on me ..

I’m so tired and upset with him. It’s been like 13 years and Im loosing my patience or may be I have already lost my patience and I simply refuse to bend backward ANymore

I know If I loose my stubbornness then things will be easier but damn it it’s been like 13 years

 

Thank you so much Sandya... it’s been 13 years and I have done that. For like almost 10 years , I kept compromising in the fact that at least he loves me and kids and that was enough

Now this jealousy of his has gone to next level. My brother is local and he never ever invites him. I do, but then at some point the other person feels unwelcome. My sister had a baby and I haven’t seen the baby yet. Now when I talk about goin to see her in summer, it’s a competition with his sister and we need to go see her as well... my sister is at driving suatnxe of 6 hrs versus his sister on the other side and we have to spend like at least 2-3 k on tickets . But that’s fine .. I said yes to it without hesitation. Then he started this drama about me and kids going to see his parents and his father as he was sick in December .. he went to India in December to take care of his father . He wants to move them here in US permanently .
There is no talk about my parents . My parents are not getting younger , so if I talk about my parents he gets upset that his father has a heart conditiiin that is not comparable to anyone else ..
I feel like trapped with him.. I can’t go see my sister , I can’t talk about my parents getting old and caring for them .. it’s all about his parents his sister sympathizing them all the time ...
Everyone else from my side is doing well...

He’s a very jealous person and dominating . He wants to do things with us and then now he wants his parents as part of our family but want to stay my family completely out of the picture and I can’t accept that

I never say anything to him doing anything for his parents or going to meet them or his sister but now he has gone to this level where he wants to involve them in vacations going to meet them but nothing about my family..he just stays quiet like a besharam

I don’t even know how a person can do this .he is so jealous , egoistic , dominating and a modern version of Indian men who used to put restrictions on wife in old age and used to treat them bad

I don’t want divorce because he does care for children and take care but for me he has no respect .

A simple thing like there have been a baby in the house and he is just staying quiet and not saying anything about going to see them so that we won’t make any extra trip to my sister

 

That’s what I have proposed now for past few years but he won’t let me go see my parents or my sister .. there is always a competition with his parents and sister all the time . My sister had a baby and I can’t even go see her as whenever I mention about going it’s like we have to go see his sister too. He is super jealous and suppresses me In a way that no one can even understand .
I don’t mind going to his sister as well but he is now staying quiet and not saying anything about it as he has started this tantrum about taking his parents for some vacation . So now nothing can be done until his parents decides the date etc ...