I don't know what to do?

luc,

You did say that

I have a perfect husband who loves me like crazy and have the best in laws in this whole world.

I have made my husband cry because I am not giving him enough time.

You are going to face 2 things in the near future

1. Your husband will come to know about this and he will hurt himself . Dont worry he wont hurt you as he loves you so much. If your husband does something to himself. Can you ever life happily. I think you can live happily because you dont even bother about your Husband.

2. The other guy, does he know that you are married. He is just using you. Do you have any idea how your life is going to be with him. All you are having is expectations. You are not for sure of what is going to happen.

Come out of the movie world. You have all pleasures with your husband, so you are not able to recognize what you got. You dont have any problems like others. You are creating problems to yourself. How can you think of other guy and cut your hubbys call. I pity you.

Talking too much and make fun and bringing smile will not help you to lead the rest of your life. There are lot of other things that a man is supposed to do in a married life. As you are working at an office you are not able to see those instances ( other married life aspects). So you are happy with that other guy. Everything comes in to picture only when there is a need.

For god sake stop all this. You are just in assumption. You did fall for a guy who just talks much and is a good company. But not sure if he gonna stay with you all through your life.

 

Dear luc,
You don't know what to do.. that's a good sign. That means you are thinking !! Sounds absurd but it's true.. it shows you are worried.. scared and frustrated.
And there is every reason you should feel that way.
Define your attraction.. Is the guy more handsome than your husband ? Is he giving you more attention ? Is he romantic ? Whatever it is.. find a reason to negate it..
Is the guy more handsome than your husband ? - looks fade.. each time you look at the man think of him loosing hair, sitting on the couch with his pot belly and bag of chips.
Is he giving you more attention ? Some men like to play.. they are trying to find out their “worth”; they get thrilled each time a woman looks at them.. it is like an ego boost to them. This particular guy must be mocking at you with his friends saying " hey look that aunty wants a piece of me ". Most married ladies are considered aunties in the singles world LOL!!!
Is he romantic ? - It is temporary.. when life changes romance takes new forms.. care, empathy and companionship. Your once-romantic husband ( compared to this guy) has moved on to care, empathy and companionship. The lover with the bouquet of red roses has changed into husband who would tuck you in the night with a good night kiss.
If nothing works, move on to the next phase in life. Move on to motherhood my dear. It's your age and emptiness ( too much time in your hand) that is causing the unnecessary thoughts in your mind. Sorry about old-school-thought but my mom used to say; a baby renews the marriage. It seems that in olden days they believe the romance will be alive for a few months then the couple would start finding faults/shortcomings with each other and would start to have arguments. So they say recommend to move on to the next phase. If you guys not ready for baby.. then get busy with your career. Join some course and do some certifications.
Last but not least.. be strong.. you will get through this. It is "OK" to get attracted to someone, but one thing you don't want to do is forget your real identity. This is fantasy my dear.. just like we all drool over Hrithik Roshan and George Clooney :hide:. Trust me there are a few people who remain faithful to their spouses because their fantasies are out of reach to them LOL!!!
Relax.. take a deep breath. Keep your head high.. be brave.. you will get through this... because deep down you love your husband very much and I could "see" sincerity in your helplessness. Like Shanvy said.. take a break.. spend a week with your hubby. You need the time to make you feel better.

Cheers,
Radheshyam.

 

@ Radheshyam. All this does not go in to her mind. I bet you. In the first page of the thread passionate89 & DST gave suggestions. She was not in a position to hear all this. Instead she was explaining how she made her DH suffer.

She is like having childish mentality. When kids know that something is bad, they still argue and fight to get that BAD THING

 

luc.... I assume you are in your late twenties. And for quite a long time you and your husband are staying separately.
First question :
Does you and your husband think that we are staying apart in our early age of marriage life thinking only about career and money( if that is the case)

If answer is "NO" then please do discuss this ;

And never ever in your mind think that God will punish you; God doesn't punish anyone it is our inner mind will punish and that yields to bad health. So be positive.
Whatever you have done so far so good; not to worry... everyone at one stage makes mistake ..now you have realized it....overcome with this ...

There are plenty of options - leave the job and join your husband back and look for job in the same place

 

if this continues finally one day you will end up sleeping with this guy and then your life and inner peace will be screwed forever.decide what is important in life and act for having that.

 

Gals,

The op has come in for some clarity. do you suppose she would not have known she may end up doing what some of you are suggesting. so let us not affirm her fears..

let her talk about how she wants to go from here. let us not scare her with rudeness..

agreed people make mistakes, but passing judgement is tad rude, even if it is a public forum and we would want the op to accept all that we dole out, because she has posted her problem..I believe there is a more Polite way..let us not cross the decorum just because some of us here feel she is not cherishing what she has..(I am using we/us in general..)

 

Hi luc

Good that you realized that you are doing a mistake..
What if that guy also falls for u..
Then you will have a tough time coming out of it or to spoil your loving husbands life..
Be careful this is an alarm..
Just transfer your job and live with your husband or be a home maker if you want to save your marriage..
How can you do this to your husband who is good to you..Wake up Lady!! Its life!!

 

I think this is exactly the situation where an EMA messes up the family. You are too young to keep your mind in your control, obviously dont know what you are doing when you are with this guy and he will definitely not miss the chance to take every advantage of you. Why is he making you cook for him and shop for him ? The way I see it, you are already doing much more for him than his wife will ever do ! I mean, my wife never shops for me and she is the best wife I could have ever dreamed for !
If your husband finds out that you ARE (not will !!) cheating on him, he will never forgive you and you will never forgive yourself. Develop mental strength and leave the job if you cannot control your impulses.

 

i agree with you sripee..

 

I don't understand what you are trying to say. OP is asking us for some suggestions, I believe. Looks like you are trying to promote amway business which I think is not right.

Sorry for being blunt.