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I behind the curtain!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Ibehindcurtain, Jan 28, 2012.

  1. Ibehindcurtain

    Ibehindcurtain Senior IL'ite

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    May God very much bless you and may you enlighten the paths of many more IL friends. I do not really understand how to thank you for your precious feedback. You are right. I would love to follow all the directions that you have given. Apart from that, I would keep reading all these precious posts. I would set the time frame to finish the task and would also see that it is accomplished in the set time.

    Thanks once again.

    Its late night but I really enjoy to reading these posts over and over.

    Best regards
     
  2. teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    IBC
    First and foremost you owe yourself a good life...whatever 'good' stands for you...go find it. And I will wait to hear that you made an appointment!
     
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  3. Ibehindcurtain

    Ibehindcurtain Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you teacher.

    You are right. I have listed taking an appointment in my diary. That is in my one of the priority list. No doubt, things are going slowly but yes, it would be worked out at the first chance. Thanks dear for being the Strength as some of the other beautiful IL sisters.
     
  4. Ibehindcurtain

    Ibehindcurtain Senior IL'ite

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    Dear friends,

    It was the good day.

    I was able to feel the power within.

    I was firm and exploring the opportunities to prosper.

    I have bought a car today. Apart from fulfilling all other necessities like shopping and dropping kids at their place, it would help me also in getting job as most of the job that I choose to apply, requires the employee owning and driving a car.

    So once, now I have bought the car, the next thing that I would be doing is getting the job, getting the 'p' license (I have learner's license yet), and before that enrolling my 3 years old daughter in a good child care.

    I feel very confident.

    I have not shared anything about buying a car with my husband and nor I feel the need of informing him about this. I feel like let him know himself.

    I know, he would get crossed on knowing that I took the decision with out including him in the matter. He would feel insulted and not happy. But I would not mind this at all and would like to see that if really cares about me, he would have to start asking me 'how I am and what I am doing'. I dont want to keep updating him about everything what I am doing and what not without him really bothering about that.

    Thank you dear friends for each word of yours. I am happy with the new given insight to the problem handling and am learning positively to stand for myself.

    Thanks a billions.
     
    4 people like this.
  5. FreeSpirit20

    FreeSpirit20 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi, I'm glad you took a step. Please continue this way.

    Sorry to say but I felt only anger after reading your first post. How could even tolerate his abuse for such long time, IBC. Don't you love yourself enough ?

    I feel so sad to see girls thinking so low of themselves, and continue to be a doormat, and a shadow of the husband and continue loving and supporting him in whatever he does.

    Your husband's words are so rude, and you talked back after so many years once and are feeling guilty ?

    And don't your kids see your pathetic situation ? I wonder if your son was speaking it for himself or he was taught about it.

    Please IBC, I beg you, I know it is late but love yourself, you know you do not deserve this, you know you have done enough, for once, just for once, think about your life. Think about what makes you happy first. Put yourself first, even before the family. This is what you have not done all these years.

    And even if you feel guilty, stop taking abuse. If it is tough for you to stay away from the family, stay within and change yourself. Don't depend on him, show him what you are capable of. Show him you know how to be happy.

    Now that you got a car, and will soon get a job. Try and do things you like. It can be anything like writing, painting, travelling, reading, engage yourself in stuff you always wanted to do. Make yourself busy. Visit the spa and pamper yourself. Make new friends, or catch up with your old buddies.

    I hope I could help.
     
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  6. Ibehindcurtain

    Ibehindcurtain Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Freespirit20,

    Thank you very much for your thought-sharing.

    As my husband has not taken his lunch box with him, I am really anxious today. I am, no doubt, developing the missing part of my personality, but I am not finding that easy coming out of the shell of the culture of Indian movie, that I have been imbibed for years. I am keeping myself firm but internally, I am greatly feeling tempted to make a phone call to him and talk about patch up. However, I understand that it would not be the resolution of the problem. I really am waiting for him to speak out orally, "what do you want?" and how he would give me. I really want Love, Respect and Care. Some people may believe that such feelings do not need to be manifested and should be understood. I sometimes, doubt myself, if I am over-expecting but thenafter, I feel, that if he could not manifest his love for me, he should not even manifest his anger or aversions for me. If he really cares, he should compensate what he had said in his bad temperament with good words later.

    Some other lovely IL friends have suggested me to go to the counselor and it is still there in my mind. I have bought the car from most of my savings. Next, I am going to learn driving car on the basis of the credit card money and that would allow me 55 days interest free. So I have planned to learn driving and start working before the interest free period gets over. Getting job may not be difficult for me as I would like to join my brother's business and work for him. I would not like to share with my brother about what is going on in my family (I want all my friends and family to see my husband with respect) but I would certainly like to work with him.

    Hope I am doing right things.
     
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