I Am In Depression

I like your slap-and-hug technique.

Unfortunately many women are not in a financially stable position to leave their nest and go it alone (or on their own).

When that is the case, coming to some understanding with the "provider" is a temporary fix.... until she gathers the necessary things to leave and take care of herself.

 

Dear OP, I just read your story & agree with the responders above that you can't forgive a cheating man! Trust & character is really imp & if that's broken then heart is broken..

Also, few questions that come to my head.. What's with going with other male friends & cell phone being switched off? Hope he is not a bi or something! Either case, the cheating is a problem..

Do you have access to his bank accounts or GPS / google maps? If yes, it shd be easy to see whom he paid money in Thailand and what for, where he went etc (check place history). I think you need to get more investigative now. There is a doubt in your head? yes, but next step is to confirm it before you take action.

 

Dear Op....

Sometimes our mind overthinks and assumes unwanted and unnecessary things..... we would have read or seen somewhere about all that and the mind carefully stores it.... It starts replaying in the mind and voila even the scenarios aptly match.....

In short, what i am trying to tell you is, stay strong and positive.... sometimes it wont be as worse as u imagined....

Worst case scenario, if your assumptions are true, can u go back and undo the past.... Are you able to forgive and forget and move on or dump him forever, you need to make up your mind....

Bear your heart out and speak all that you want, to your husband.... if you feel you cant directly talk, try to send a voice note in whatsapp, msg in whatsapp....
You be first be relieved of the burden....

Am sure your phase will pass, have faith in god and stay positive

Hugs
Nandini

 

What is the point in tracking, proving that he was with escort women on this trip? it will be useful only if you are going to take legal action against him.

A cheater will be always a cheater, it is an addiction. They will go to any extreme to keep their secret life active. Now, he thinks you don't know his secret life, but if you confront him, he will start to do it openly. No amount of tears will change him, may be will give a short break, after that he will do it again.

If you are not financially independent and no backing from your parents, you don't have much choice. Feeling helpless, you can pretend 'not to notice' and continue to live the same life. Alternative, take a legal action against him to get monitory support to raise the child.

 

Dear Soni1987,

I have full sympathies for you situation. I would suggest take these initial steps.

1. Try to talk to him & also suggest for family outing.
2. Listen to ur gut feeling, but don't directly react or come to any conclusion.
3. Visa, bank account, credit card details to be checked.
4. Get the details about his friends (chances are there the friend might be a female)
5. Try to get all the details of his friends (phone, email id, passport, family, etc)

POSSIBILITY NO 1
Implement these steps as early as possible (Immediate)
6. If the friend turn out to be a female (just send her an message or email stating your objection about their relationship & ask her to back off), mark a copy of this to ur husband and his family and local police station, also file an FIR against (ur Dh & his family, other lady) & inform both set of families.
7. I would suggest don't ever go for Divorce (let both of them pay a price), as Divorce will be a easy option for them. Ensure their (ur husband and that female friend) family, social & office life gets ruined.

POSSIBILITY NO 2
Implement these changes within 2 to 3 months.
7. In case if the friends turn out to be male friend, make friendship with them later on introduce them to ur Dh as ur friends.
8. As suggested by "KavyaKMV", even u start making friends & go for trips, let ur Dh take care of kids, apart from this change ur daily routine lifestyle (change ur dressing style, put passwords on ur phone, change ur banking passwords, attitude towards family responsibility & daily household chores, spend more time at work, stop all physical contact with ur Dh.
9. As u r working, u start spending most of ur earnings in ur personal stuff not house hold matters.
10. Let ur husband be the one to come for a discussion.

Don't worry things will be fine and be firm and take charge of ur life.

Best wishes.

 

If I were in her place and had to live with a lying ,cheating creep,I would live my life to the fullest.

Stop paying emis...let the cheating ass pay for it. The less he has ,the less he spends on the whores. At least he would have to make do with filthy third class whores instead of pricier ones.

I would enjoy life using his money ,shop ,go for expensive spas and if he dared to object,remind him that he was a effing lying ,cheating dog who was lucky to still have a family.

Op ,live a good life and give your kids a good life. If he can have fun ,so can you. What can he do,divorce you and pay maintainance and child support. Good luck to him.

 

No dear OP..You are not over reacting. Infact you are just being normal. Imagine you hanging out with your pals without his knowledge. Would he dismiss it out so easily? Of course not. Every marriage calls for certain level of commitment and fidelity in a relation. If the same is questioned or put to test, it's certainly a cause of concern.
Regarding your issue, I feel once he returns you may have a heart to heart talk with him sounding your concerns. If required, involve some close elderly ( his parents and your parents ). He has to convince you why he is behaving strange or avoiding you. If still things don't become OK, I feel it's high time you decide whether you want to be in such a relation. I know it's difficult, but better than a relation of deceit and breach of trust, I feel it will help you breath free.

 

Looks like you need to make friends. I think it's important. I had a lot of friends in India but I don't have any here. I'm trying to make new friends. That's one of my goals too...