I applied for child support legally against my H. I did not ask for divorce and let him decide and start on that. I did so because - - could not bear when he is spending money on 16 - 25 year old babes when he refused to do for his 1 year old baby - did not pick up his calls or the calls from his relatives [i am sick of them as no one bothered about all that he did in last one year but now calling me as i started legal action. i am not sure what they want to talk but i did not pick up any calls] - could not digest the fact that people can be so selfish and not love their own kid but now i am feeling guilty - did i do something wrong - should i have wait and watched if he apply for divorce and then seek for child support - should i have attended his calls and his relatives call and hear what they say - am i inducing him to do divorce by seeking child support - should i have given him chance to change, - but i wonder if it would ever happen
OP, I don't know your story completely. But all I can say is..You took a step..that too a bold one.. Now dont back off. STAY STRONG!! It is meant to happen this way. You seem to be quiet grounded by not attending calls. Good going. If your H is good, things will fall into place..else, you will win your self-respect that you stood strong for your child(who one day will be proud of you) In this era, woman has to stand up for herself, for others to notice her and take her seriously. WE ALL ARE HERE FOR YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT. ALL THE BEST!!
Thanks YoGirl.. for your supporting words. Court, case, attorney, legal action, temporary separation - This phase is really horrible. I wish i have a fast forward button to end this phase soon. May God give me the physical and emotional strength to face the reality and destiny.
In an attempt to understand the problem you have with your husband, I tried to find & read your old threads, by going to your profile page. But, it says, "access is limited". Can you , please provide the URL link here , to read your old threads ?
Previous Threads I Thought I Married But He Thought He Leased Me How Can I Overcome The Hatred Feeling
I feel you should have called 911 and handed him over for physical abuse. You must have a heart of gold to ask whether you did wrong by asking Child support. I'm wondering why you didn't file for divorce yet. Yes court proceedings are tough. But life with him was tougher and you dont deserve that treatment. You need to stand strong for your kids.
I am not telling you to apply for a divorce. But why have you made him in charge of that decision when he is the one who is wrong here? The relatives did not care before, they should do the same now. It will most probably be something about not taking child support or that you are making him suffer. If you pick their calls, the power will shift to their hands. One should know the person to figure out why he selfish and not loving his own kid. Some reasons, if it would ease your mind: - Everything wrong with the way he was brought up - No sense of responsibility in life, life is just for enjoyment - No compassion towards anyone except self - Some people are just that way No. Not IMO. No No. What you don't know can't hurt you. Also cannot mess with your decisions. I don't clearly understand this question. But what other way is there to make a person fulfill his parental responsibility? You already did. Isn't this going on since quite sometime now?! What you should think about: If it happens, will you accept him?
I question myself - why i did not complain. I am not sure why I did not do, but i might have died of guilt if i had done. I am not able to stay strong when someone pleads or asks for sympathy or cries, whatever the mistake is. It is not only because he is my H, but i am like this with every one. He know about me and used me as much as he can. If i had read my own story posted by someone [May God not give this ugly situation to anyone else and let me be the last], i would have advised the person to go ahead and do divorce. But i am unable to do it, when it comes to me. I don't want to rip it and throw the marriage myself, though i know the marriage died long before. I had a wonderful married life with my first husband and he died in an accident unexpectedly. Whenever my second H do something wrong or hurt me, i always felt that this is better than the situation where my first H died and this might be one of the reasons why i kept quiet. When i applied for child support, i was angry as he did spend money for immoral things, rather than spending for his own child. But now when some of my relatives ask me why did i take a big step legally, i am worried, am feeling guilty and confused.
@somsar2014, I exactly felt like talking to my dad. He tells me most of whatever you said. He tells me - "Every body die one day. But you don't die every day", "Forgiving is great but he does not deserve that", "Every one wants a happy married life but when it comes to question of having married life Vs Happy life, choose being happy rather than being married". Inspite of all the support from him, i still posted the message as i thought my dad was biased. I know he is a man of moral values but since he loves me, and as we are all affected by him and whatever we decide may be biased. Now i feel my dad was able to see the reality.
