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i am failing as a mother

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by hotchillipepper, May 26, 2014.

  1. Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Gold IL'ite

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    Dear reading your post felt like I was reading my story. In a way I am also raising my DD who is 2.5 by myself. DH is always very busy with his work. My little one has cows milk allergies and it took us a while it figure that out. Life had become a living hell. Coz she won't sleep because of upset tummy. I always had tears in my eyes. My husband was very busy that time he wanted to help but cudnt. I was always sleep deprived dd never slept more than two hours. I shouted I cried I screamed. But we sailed through. After things settled it was a relief she could sleep and I could sleep. But again always with mommy I even have another thread that my daughter won't play on her own. Now I have started worrying less. As long as I can put food on table everything is fine. Do not worry about messy house and clean up and ironing and all that just rest whenever you can. What worked for me is Routine. Now matter what, I get her into her bed by 7pm. She sleeps by half past 7. I sleep around 10 or 11. But those 3 to 4 hours are like meditation for me. Life has become a lot easier coz now I have some me time. I do take her out almost every day. We do spend 4 to 5 hours out in the malls, libraries, play classes and stuff. It's easier for me when we are out. Her attention is diverted she is not after mommy all d time . By the time we get home she is tired, eats her diner, taker her bath and sleep. After sticking to the routine she has started sleeping better and eating better. Always remember this too shall pass.
     
  2. amihere

    amihere Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi HCP,
    It happens at times. But as you said that unconditional love give you all the strength we need. Before I was such a perfectionist that I used to be exhausted by end of day...once during such a rush I jammed my finger between the doors and i was cursing myself why do i try to make everything perfect. DH and DD(with what ever little words she can say) tells me "Momma Chill" whenever i get tensed up for not doing something the way I imagined to. Now I have started taking everything in its stride and let everything else be so , I have even wrote "Momma Chill" near my kitchen cabinet..whenever I get panicky thinking of things left to do I read it and my DD's cute innocent face comes to me reminding everything else other than DD can wait ;) Not sure if my post helped you or not just wanted to share my 2cents.
     
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  3. Saisakthi

    Saisakthi IL Hall of Fame

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    Sister HCP,

    :cool2: dear Just take a break for a day or two (sooner) away from the routine that would rejuvenate self and start afresh, try to plan a schedule and execute it slowly. Soon things will fall in place.

    Next mother's day, your post would be completely positive, believe me.

    Keep us updated, Hugs to your DD from aunty Sakthi.

    Best wishes..
     
  4. Lavanya30

    Lavanya30 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi HCP

    I have felt the same many times, do not worry you are a wonderful Mom. As Mom's we are always in the guilt ride, like other's have mentioned, I am sure you will feel better with better planning.

    TC
    Lavanya
     
  5. RedRuby

    RedRuby Platinum IL'ite

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    Your suggestions work great :) :) i used to do this with my lil cousin sisses when i ran out of patience playing with them.. i looked like alien jumped into christmas tree but gals where too happy and distracted for quite a while :)
    The massaging task my mom did with me too, i liked to give her reliefe and we sometimes massaged each other, great advices for mothers of girls specially :)
     
  6. heron

    heron Platinum IL'ite

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    HCP,...relax!... we been there too and it doubles when I see single ladies spending 5 hrs at a parlour or spa... but I have my prize with me already :)

    You are will be a good mother...but remember one thing...your DD loves you so try not shouting or hitting her as it REALLLY hurts when people who think love you are being hurtful....

    My advice from experience: hire a nanny or a helper, take breaks and come back home refreshed..take breaks more often if needed....no one can take one job 24/7/365/50yrs..
     
  7. hotchillipepper

    hotchillipepper Gold IL'ite

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    Dear IL friends, sorry for late reply. I have been not well and a distant relative of my husband has passed away so i have been busier then ever before. I definitely need to take a break. My husband will be coming in next 10 days( hopefully) and once we are free from 13th day ceremonies, then i'll go for a vacation. i am sick and tired of being responsible for everything. I never hit my DD, as this is against my nature. Sometimes i get angry when she is not ready to go to school or insists on pizzas etc. she feels bad and i dont like it but i cant help it. when someone is there to take over when one person is upset then its still relieving. i have been spending good time with her. and she is extremely cooperative when i am sick but mornings are really pain in neck. at least there is a hope that this is just a phase and will get over very soon. :)
     

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