1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Husbands' non-cooperation

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by swasa, Feb 21, 2012.

  1. swasa

    swasa Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    24
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi all,

    Not only my case... I've heard n read from many other friends... husbands not cooperating in many things like
    1. Food - never satisfied with what wife cooks although everyone else in the world, even neighbor's husband, praises her cooking.
    2. Cribs when wife spends few minutes in a clothes store though he spends hours on laptop watching YouTube.
    3. Never allows wife to learn driving but cribs that she can't drive and totally dependent on him.
    4. Changes decisions/plans on a drop of the hat but shouts at wife if she changes dinner menu.

    List is looooong but no time to type down. Please pour your thoughts if you are going through this kind of non-cooperation and how do you manage.
     
  2. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,341
    Likes Received:
    558
    Trophy Points:
    240
    Gender:
    Female
    5. Hates it when I read a rather interesting book all night, but does not mind watching a gory movie and drives me away to the next room..lol :hide:
    6. Never picks up a glass or spoon by himself. Nor a towel or hanky. Why do it when I'm around?? :bowdown
    7. Shoes never in place, strewn around the entrance way and wet towel on the bed. :rant
    8. Manages ALWAYS to find my ironed clothes and sits on them. :thumbsdown
    9. Never likes what I like. So I've had to give up cooking my favourite recipes. :spin
    10. He always wins the movie argument - we watch what he wants to. So I sit and watch my movies alone. :-(
    11. Always always manages to switch on the "selective hearing mode" when I am talking about something important. He suddenly goes deaf, and this syndrome has been in his life ever since we got married. tskshakehead:

    But I guess he'll have just one complaint about me - I analyse and then over analyse every situation and can't stop talking about it. So I guess its not such a big deal after all. :)
     
    2 people like this.
  3. swasa

    swasa Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    24
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Lol... My first smile today with ur reply. Seriously, damned pissed off today with my husband.
     
  4. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,341
    Likes Received:
    558
    Trophy Points:
    240
    Gender:
    Female
    Lol...I can understand..
    But I guess that is what makes life the way it is - exciting. My friend's mom told me once - You girls always crib about your husband not doing things. Assume and accept that he's never going to do those things and you'll have this new energy to do them yourself.
    That is very true. I do these small things at home myself. And when I want something communicated, I call him to the sofa and explain it like I do to a 5 year old..Cos I know for a fact there's every chance for him to get distracted and disinterested and drift away a million times in the 2 minutes in need to convey what I need to.
    End of the day, when you vent this out, you 'll feel much better. :)
     
  5. subhejamal

    subhejamal Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    87
    Likes Received:
    51
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Female
    yup i agree with tanoshi.if u will keep thinging abt makng him to do the stuff u will b like a pendulum.yes or no yes or no.worst part of this attitude is that they never simply refuse to do that thng .they say ok but in their mind its decided that ...........m not gonna do that.
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,341
    Likes Received:
    558
    Trophy Points:
    240
    Gender:
    Female
    This reminds me of one more incident. And this is not just in my house, its happened to almost all my friends.

    Suddenly, out of the blue, sometime is a year my husband falls in love with me all over again and says he'll help me out with the chores at home. This usually is like a trick question for me.
    He'll say he'll clean the bathroom - the one job I could live without. But he'll have his rules. He'll clean it only when HE thinks its dirty. And while it looks dirty to me every other day, to him its once or maximum twice in a month. So I end up doing it myself.
    He'll offer to do the dishes one romantic night. I'll be all thrilled, but I also know what's coming next. He'll take about 45 minutes to one hour cleaning them and after that I spend 30 minutes cleaning the mess he's made..lol :rotfl
    He'll say he'll iron the clothes. That happened even 2 days back. I have to get him the iron board, the iron box, fill the water for the steam iron. Else I'll be asked a thousand questions about each and finally, he'll do the ironing and I have to start all over to out them all back in place. Else they'll start living where they are!! lol

    This usually starts with two different scenarios:
    1) I let him do it and will do the clean up after it, while I crib why in God's name did I ever bother to decide so. That usually ends up with him saying "I help you and this is how you repay me???"
    2) I refuse. I say when some day I am not well or for some reason am not able to do it myself, please offer that day. For which his reply would be "See I am offering to help and you are not letting me. Don't bother pointing out that I never do these things for you, cos I am trying."

    So what do I do next?? I used to yell at him that he is putting me in a spot either way. Now I kiss him on the cheek and thank him for training me to develop more patience..lol :rotfl
     
  7. swasa

    swasa Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    24
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks tanoshi n subhejamal for your replies.
    Lol, selective hearing mode... my DH says he calls it 'keeping evil stuff away from hearing'... that way he is keeping his soul pure! Well, I don't understand this funda!
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,341
    Likes Received:
    558
    Trophy Points:
    240
    Gender:
    Female
    lol..That is something..How come everything coming out of only the wife's mouth becomes evil??? :rotfl
     

Share This Page