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Husband's family trying to take my baby away

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by radha12, Jan 4, 2012.

  1. radha12

    radha12 New IL'ite

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    Me and my husband live in usa while both set of parents live in India.

    My husband has very low sperm count. I don't have any problem.So after 2 failed IUIs did Ivf. First cycle resulted in miscarriage. Second cycle resulted in a beautiful daughter born on dec 10 2011.

    My parents and I told my husband's family abt his problem which resulted in a very big fight. Since then they have not bothered to contact me or my parents. Did not bother to call me when my grandma died and when I had miscarriage.

    Did not contact me when my daughter was born. Now my husband wants my daughter to wear sweaters that his mom sent him.

    He thinks his mom's effort of 2 weeks of making sweaters is MORE important thatmy effort of 2 years of struggling and successfully having my daughter. On top of that he says he never had the intention of telling his parents that he had any problem and that I had to work hard and go through physical and emotional pain to have this baby.

    He has been giving me excuses abt their failure to communicate or contact me. His family wants to establish ties with my baby but not me.

    All am asking is that they acknowledge the fact that he had a problem and that I had to go through a lot to have a baby.

    please you all tell me, is this too much to ask???
     
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  2. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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  3. radha12

    radha12 New IL'ite

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    My husband had zero sperm count for with no medical history. We tried for 7 yrs before we discovered he had zero sperm count.

    My husband's arrogance and denial of the fact that he cannot have kids normally made me tell his parents. They were telling everyone that the problem was with me.

    Now my husband is telling me to forget that we had this baby through Ivf. He is not acknowledging my efforts.
     
  4. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    I am sorry for my post.You didn't give these details before.

    but anyway having kid though IVF is not sin.

    I am not sure what happened in those 7 years and support and understanding from your husband.He and his family blaming you all the time,then I can understand your angry.

    By force you can't achieve anything.Whatever struggles you both went though,it should have been understanding and mutual effort.Not one blaming other.

    People around you talk 100 things.Anyway now you have beautiful baby and don't make things more complicated.Don't take any emotional pain.If something causing you pain,express on his face and that should be between you and him.

    Let him deal with his parents.No one can steal baby from you.You are a mother and no one would get that place in baby heart.Don't feel insecure.Become a confident person and you can handle other things.

    May be this time for you to move on and have peaceful life with your DD.

    You are just a new mom.Don't let ruin other things with your beautiful new mommy days.Enjoy your motherhood.for time being forget everything and your struggle.

    I can understand how painful are IVF's are.But there is no use of getting angry on your in-laws.That should have between him and you.

    You are emotionally and physically sensitive at this point,request your husband that don't do anything which cause pain to you.Don't blame anything just tell him that right now you are in critical stage and you can't take any simple pain and ask him not to entertain anything for time being.
     
  5. shreyashreyas

    shreyashreyas Gold IL'ite

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    Radha, i dont want to say that i can understand your troubles or pain. nobody but you can know that better.... Now baby is born. why to dig old graves. Give the best to your baby and one thing.. just by wearing a sweater at this tender age, no baby will cry for its grand parents. let her wear that sweater (this will make your husband happy and will reflect in your relationship). The love that you show to her will be the ever-lasting one. Your health is important at this stage. if this unnecessary things are in your mind then you will spoil your health and the valuable time with your daughter. just think, do you want to lose these for your in-laws. i dont think so.

    I am not experienced but i know one thing for sure. Time once lost will never come back. This is a golden moment in your life and you should not lose them for people who bring tears in your eyes.
     
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