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Husband, wife, spending on "wants"

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, Jun 1, 2015.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    A couple (X1, X2), no kids yet, both well-employed, and have enough to spend on luxuries or "wants" after spending on needs and putting some away as savings.

    Luxuries like newer model of phone, latest gadgets, brand name in clothes and accessories, travel, eating out, some sporting activities, and so on.

    One of them doesn't care much for material luxuries for self and likes to instead spend on parents, sibling, who are themselves doing well.

    X1 gets a phone/gadget for self, X2 might something like that for sibling.
    X1 would prefer that X2 spend a bit less on sibling and more on self, or even give to charity.

    Do you think:
    X1 has a point in that spending more on luxuries for parent, sibling than even for self, can bother spouse, or
    X2 has a right to choose to live simply and instead spend on sibling, parent's luxuries?
     
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  2. kaniths

    kaniths IL Hall of Fame

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    R u talking abt me & my H here?! Am suddenly feeling guilty!! :oops:
     
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  3. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    No. :)

    Just a generic problem. albeit a 'first world problem.' It does happen in some households.

    I think X1 has a point. While technically speaking, X2 is free to spend that dispensable money on self or sibling, it is an unwritten understanding in a marriage that resources like time, money, emotional energies... after spending those on self, spouse/kids have next dibs on those.

    IMO, spending on luxuries for sibling, parent, on a regular basis.. is not a good idea. But that is just me...
     
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  4. kaniths

    kaniths IL Hall of Fame

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    If both are earning well, affluent enough after all the loans & savings, spending is up to each one isn't? Is it not like intruding into each of their space, questioning how should one spend if its their own income? :roll:
     
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  5. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    well, somebody buys a winning lottery ticket at the liquor store ... I kinda question how they spend the millions, and think they are crazy if they don't opt for lump sum... here, X1 and X2 are married.. why can't they at least have an opinion on other's spending of dispensable income...

    I wantedly left the genders neutral.
     
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  6. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    Spending priorities are very rarely identical in a couple. Here is what I think would help - discretionary spending.

    Set aside a fixed amount each month for both .Could $100 or $1000 depending upon the earning capacity of the couple.
    How one decides to spend this should be entirely upto him/her.And I mean complete freedom. No comments/questions asked as long as its not spent on anything illegal or immoral.

    Finance is a very sensitive area in a marriage and if not handled well leads to
    lot of resentment and bitterness..best to tread carefully.

    So to answer ur question..if X2 spends within the discretionary amount then I think X1 needs to go to a spa(or homedepot) and chill.
     
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  7. CrayoNess

    CrayoNess Platinum IL'ite

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    Wouldn't a parent/sibling be embarrassed/offended if an adult child/sibling spend money on them?
     
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  8. kaniths

    kaniths IL Hall of Fame

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    @Rihana I agree with @Justanothergirl suggestion... Seems logical... Isn't this is what happening in households where a HWife spends within her budget? Or am just confusing two different cases here? thinkingsmiley
     
  9. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    U see this is slippery slope .. X2 might start a bhashan on why regular visits to spa/ golf/ latest iphone /designer bags are bad karma. Live and let live..hum bhi saas bhi... what say?
     
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  10. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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