Husband & wife communication problem

Hi,

I am married for 1 year 10 months and I have an 11months son. My husband is very caring but does not have time to help me or take care of DS (taking to hospital, vaccinations, small shopping, etc. I have a good MIL, so I will go with her). So he shows his care in giving me suggestions do this, do that, that is good for your health, take food on time, etc. It may not be possible to manage all the things in a perfect manner as I am working and I have a small kid. once in a while if some thing happens like I won't take food on time or any things like hitting my hand to wall (nothing happens to me), he becomes very angry on me and scolds me like anything saying U don't have brain, how can you take care of DS and takes DS and gives to MIL. I feel like dieing at that moment thinking I am doing all the things for them only and the things causing anger are also the problems of me only instead of understanding the situation, he is scolding me only. And that anger stays many days may be some times a weak to 10 days (till I say sorry and I won't behave like that again).

And his nature is completely different to me. I am a easy gong girl doing all the things in planned way. But he expects all the last minutes things to be done in perfect manner that may not be possible all the time. He gets angry very often for small things also. I think that there is no matter in becoming anger in some situations. If I say any one word in that moment he derives all the negative meanings from a single dialog I said. In these kind of situations happening very frequently I am becoming very much depressed and feeling like marriage life is over... No love, no happyness nothing. I have conceived just after 1 month of the marriage and I did not get any time to go out or njoy due to health condition at that time. And after the delivery my IL’s shifted to our place permanently and there is no chance to go out. In such a situation also I am tryig to find out happyness in small small things like spending some time with DS and DH but with DH nature I am losing the hope to live and feeling like a machine doing all the things for them and working.

As we both have different nature what ever I speak that is transferred to him as a negative thing and creating more distance between us. So I just stopped talking to him general things. I will talk to him if necessary. We used to cuddle, hug and make love before my delivery and some days after the delivery also. But these communication problems created a distance between us. I don’t like we both in this way but I am not getting that freeness again to mingle with him. I am having a fear inside what to speak and what not to.. If again I speak anything wrong then again the distance is going to be increased.

If I tell this to MIL, she says that her son is very good and also tells that, you have heard so many things about your friends husbands. Comapred to many, he is so nice person and all. Now also I am not expecting any thing except his love and some time together.
Can you please suggest me how to cope up with him… I won’t talk in a hurting way also infact his words only hurts me a lot. I am very sensitive and soft in nature. With these siuations I am loosing hope to live.
If the mistake is from my side, please correct me.
Sorry for the long post..

Thanks,
Softy

 

Tried that also.. when I start about my feelings his mood will be changed immediatly and scolds saying you spoiled my mood and when husband comes to you, you don't know how to behave with him, your mother didn't teach you how to behave with husband and all. Then only I started talking only neccessary things.

 

Thank you all for your replies.. I will surely follow your suggestions.. I will send an email to DH, I will try to deviate when I feel sad and I will try to be patient.

 

Some body has sent me a private message and I am unable to see that.. It is showing as you need to have 10 posts in last 1month to see the private message so it may take time for me to see your message.