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Husband wants separation because of incompatability

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by pm86, Jan 10, 2013.

Page 11 of 13
  1. Feb 7, 2013 #101
    reddishmoon

    reddishmoon Senior IL'ite

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    Its really sad to know your situation and i dont understand when somebody can be a good friend than why isnt he a good husband and why to waste others life in this manner.
     
    reddishmoon, Feb 7, 2013
    reddishmoon, Feb 7, 2013
    #101
  2. Feb 28, 2013 #102
    pm86

    pm86 Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Omnam, Thanks for your reply, I am somehow with 2 mindsets. When I talk to my husband I fall for his talks and feel for him and want to be with him. Note that he is very smart in convincing anyone. But when I talk to others like ladys dh's brothers wife, I am convinced that he is cheating me. She said that noone likes her(lady) in the family and she is nice actress. She also told that whatever is happening between me and my husband that lady (my dh's colleague) knows everything. That lady might have told something about me to her dh so thatswhy he allows my dh to their home without me and never doubts them.
    I am still thinking to talk to her dh because I donot know whether her dh believes me or not and what kind of effect it has on my life.
    At this point of time I am really confused what I want, whether to stay in this relation or come out. I pray god sincerely that nobody should be in this situation like me.
     
    pm86, Feb 28, 2013
    pm86, Feb 28, 2013
    #102
  3. Feb 28, 2013 #103
    tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

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    Behave like Kali and durga devi.


    Omnam:
    I read this quote about the goddess Kali:

    She was as beautiful as she was terrifying.

    :thumbsup
     
    tashidelek2002, Feb 28, 2013
    tashidelek2002, Feb 28, 2013
    #103
    1 person likes this.
  4. Feb 28, 2013 #104
    pm86

    pm86 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Summer, we are not sleeping in one room. I am loosing my confidence with what I believe when I talk to him as he argues or talks as such. I am trapped in this net.
     
    pm86, Feb 28, 2013
    pm86, Feb 28, 2013
    #104
  5. Feb 28, 2013 #105
    pm86

    pm86 Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Omnam,
    I am also afraid to confidently talk to my dh as I feel he is very smart and cannot express like him. Its better to silently stay calm and come out instead of fighting with him, my life is anyway spoiled. Somehow I cannot fight with him as he never fights with me or use bad words. He says only one thing I am not happy in this relation so how can I blame him for this sentence. I am feeling very sad in this kind of situation.
     
    pm86, Feb 28, 2013
    pm86, Feb 28, 2013
    #105
  6. Feb 28, 2013 #106
    tomatoroma7

    tomatoroma7 Bronze IL'ite

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    You cannot do this as this is considered harrasment. She can only talk to her husband. Also copying and reading emails between the husband and the lady is a violation and one can go to prison.
     
    tomatoroma7, Feb 28, 2013
    tomatoroma7, Feb 28, 2013
    #106
  7. Feb 28, 2013 #107
    pm86

    pm86 Silver IL'ite

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    You are right Toma,
    but letting her dh know is of only hope that he will help me in saving the relation. Also he should know whats going on between them. If not what do you think is better. Its ok to leave them on their own as everyone has their own right of way of living?.
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2013
    pm86, Feb 28, 2013
    pm86, Feb 28, 2013
    #107
  8. Feb 28, 2013 #108
    tomatoroma7

    tomatoroma7 Bronze IL'ite

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    You can let her husband know but just try not to show the emails. He needs to know, that I agree. But you need to solve this with your DH. Assuming she is out of the picture, do you think your DH will love you and be affectionate towards you. If you think he will then you need to tell her husband.
     
    tomatoroma7, Feb 28, 2013
    tomatoroma7, Feb 28, 2013
    #108
  9. Feb 28, 2013 #109
    pm86

    pm86 Silver IL'ite

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    How can her dh believe without emails. My dh and her dh are also close friends.
    My dh doesnot solve this as he thinks our relation is bad irrespective of this matter and also he says he is emotionally close to other friends too not only her.
     
    pm86, Feb 28, 2013
    pm86, Feb 28, 2013
    #109
  10. Feb 28, 2013 #110
    abhi09

    abhi09 Senior IL'ite

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    What are you trying to save??? You can't force someone to love you.
    It is not worth living with a jerk like that..ditch loving you like a wife..he is treating you in like a piece of crap and he dosen't have the basic humanity.
    He dosen't respect you half as much as he respects any stranger in this planet.
    No normal friends tell "I love you" to each other,especially married people of opposite gender.I dunno how you are tolerating all these things.If I had seen such messages in my husbands chat I would have screwed him.
    Did he tell "I love you" to you..once..NO..ditch that he dosent even consider you as a human being.
    You are giving a last chance to this marriage..give it and in the mean time collect as much evidence as you can.Store all those chats in a secure place so that he dosen't destroy them and don't tell it to him,lest he might emotionally blackmail you that he will change and delete everything.
    And next time you in laws tell you anything..tell them how your marriage is not consummated and how their son is a piece of impotent creature.
    Non-consummation of marriage is good enough for you to get a divorce.I know it is very very very difficult but the best thing you can do to yourself is get out of this.It might pain a lot now but on the long run you will do fine..be strong and you are working so you are independent...
    Get out and live your life for you and there are a lot of guys who will respect you and love you for what you are.
    One more thing..I would discuss this matter directly with that girl first and if something fishy comes up then her husband for sure.Why that other guy should become "the bakra"..in this affair.
     
    abhi09, Feb 28, 2013
    abhi09, Feb 28, 2013
    #110
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