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Husband Treats My 6 Year Old Daughter Like She's His Wife.

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by EagerForInfo, Apr 11, 2018.

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  1. lavii

    lavii Gold IL'ite

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    Subject line is very misleading:fearful: .IMO him taking DD out during weekends is a blessing in disguise considering you have a newborn to take care .I know how tiring it is to take care of a 6 year old especially during weekends along with an infant .When your DH is asking your DD to do some lil chores at home bypassing you either that's because she is 6 yr old and can do somethings on her own or as you said you guys argue a lot daily to avoid any further arguments in future he is just communicating directly with DD but that does not mean he is talking to her as she is his wife :shakehead:. To me atleast based on inputs shared everything looks normal .
     
  2. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    Don't know how you came up with such a misleading title ..hopefully you can change it.
     
  3. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    @EagerForInfo your dh giving too much time to your dd has raised your antenna for some reason. could be all the articles you come across or could just be that you miss the company of your dh that even his spending time with your dd irks you.

    i am overlooking at the inconsistency in your details as pointed out above, blaming post partum.

    please find a way to communicate. how about a mail to him that you need some time. it is hard to handle small kids with other issues pitching their presence.

    coming to the daughter and father relationship unless you find something really abnormal in it,it is a beautiful bonding that starts in the cradle and keeps growing stronger and stronger. i watch my dd and dh talk now pulling each other’s legs arguing so much, disagreeing on subjects in profession, and more. she is 23. oh she always kept some of the interesting details of her everyday life for the time her dad would wake her at 5.30 for school and bring her to our room and that was their us time with my dh working 15 hours and being absent for long durations.i would feign sleep and listen. and would even tell my dh it is not fair, she tells me a to z of thing yet sneaks such interesting special ones only to you.she was 4..

    so if your title is how you feel, please talk to your husband without your dd feeling the vibes of these feelings. kids will hnderstand..
     
    sindmani, Amica, lavani and 4 others like this.
  4. Raffaello

    Raffaello Silver IL'ite

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    Its both of your daughter and you are his wife so be sure to properly phrase the words.. Be specific about what your issues are, still its unclear about what your thoughts are and what is that you both failed to communicate and he is discussing it with 6 years and how does a child understand what martial issues are and other adult stuff . . You can't roam about with a new born so you got to spend with the baby so he might think it otherwise to ease your burden he takes other kid out..
    Start to discuss your issues with your hubby and clarify your stand and don't drag yourself in to such perilous thoughts...
    If you can explain in detail about your husbands side we could suggest else please don't malice your mind. She is a child so try to see that first and don't think way too much... If your husband is all crossing way too much then its abuse so try to distinguish things rather than reacting to actions ..
     
  5. chasingdreams

    chasingdreams Bronze IL'ite

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    Seriously?! And what reason/explanation does he give for that statement?!
     
  6. lavani

    lavani Silver IL'ite

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    exactly. I totally hope OP is not a troll. It is horrible to even think like that. Unless there is a significant visible sign of child abuse.

    my H is so involved my d and Son life. he goes to her every bharatnatyam class, gets the teacher feedback. Scolds her very much if she is not putting 100% percent effort. She is 12. She talks to everything about school, how other girls are dating. even i get freak out. my h says that we should be grateful that she is sharing her life. many kids at teens age do not. he advises her how much it is important to be emotionally happy and focus till college. any such relationships when they hurt can ruin studies. my daughter understands and actually appreciates.

    What i see if you need to work your emotional relation with your H. how to do ?. you have to talk and figure out.
     
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  7. silentlistener

    silentlistener Silver IL'ite

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    Yes. You are.
     
  8. beingmom

    beingmom Bronze IL'ite

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    Growing up, my dad used to take me everywhere even though most of the time I just wanted to stay home. On the other hand, he mostly didn't take my brother alone anywhere. It was either my dad and I going out or we go out as a family. He even took me to a guys-only one day trip with his friends and I hated it because it was boring.

    My dad just couldn't stay away without seeing me even for a day. He is a wonderful person and loves me more than anyone in the world. Trust me, I want him to love my brother equally and wouldn't mind if he took my brother with him.

    When I read your post, it reminded me of my childhood. However, we don't know the full story here and you might have seen other instances that triggered this worry.
     
    Sandycandy and shravs3 like this.
  9. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    Can we please not interrogate and alienate an OP needing advice and reassurance? The age of OP's children from a post 7 months ago is irrelevant to her present query.

    She may merely be trying to avoid intrusive and unwelcome sleuthing by nosey posters who pry but offer her no help. Tracking information about a stranger's minor children on the internet is creepy, no?

    @EagerForInfo, I hope you find helpful answers here and are able to put this difficult phase behind you. Good luck!
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2018
  10. Greenbay

    Greenbay Gold IL'ite

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    Comprehend my post first before jumping to insinuate that I track info. on stranger’s minor children. Such insinuation is in extreme poor taste. I am a responsible member of the society who values privacy of any stranger leave alone minor children, so minor children’s privacy is paramount to me is implied.

    I asked OP whether she is posting about her own situation or about someone else. She has not answered it yet. If she clarifies, that is the end of my query. Creepy is jumping to the fray without proof that I pry and track minor children. I don’t have hopes of an apology but what you have engaged in is questioning a member’s integrity without any proof of your assertion.

    OP, if the situation relates to your own, my advice is to not cast aspersions on your husband’s intentions or the false propaganda that your MIL is into black magic. You might be stressed to handle 2 young kids, so hire external help to give you some breathing room in day time. Develop some relaxing hobbies to keep you occupied.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2018
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