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Husband Taking A Little Bit Of More Interest In Colleague's Wife Pics !

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by anitalovesyou, Dec 20, 2016.

  1. bruised234

    bruised234 Gold IL'ite

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    Op, I gave you the most practical advice. There is no confusion here. If he is going the wrong path, you will be making him all the more determined by asking him, if you don't ask him, he will still do it if he wants to. You can't control him and don't try to. If he never intended then you having nothing to lose. It is not about moods here, it is the most sincere, most practical thing I could tell, because confronting and taking it up will lead you nowhere. I have had it and I told you from personal experience. He will become more vigilant if you start probing, better to shut up and let it die a natural death than keep igniting the flames all over again by confrontation. Once you start the process, it won't end easily. I landed in IL because of the same issue and still having a tough time getting out of it. I made the mistake of confrontation and have landed in hot soup because of it. My health has gone down, I have gotten fat - I have caused myself harm while he seems to be getting stronger and merrier by the day. And about the others don't even mention - guess their jealousy and ill-feelings towards me started giving results because I yielded to them. To add, I will tell you not to discuss this with anyone in your circle, whenever the thought arises tell yourself it is nothing and carry on.
     
    EnlightenedSoul likes this.
  2. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Platinum IL'ite

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    OP,

    For your problem, a lot depends on the kind of relation that you share wth your husband.

    IF you and husband share a very easy relation where he and u share a lot of information, then I don't think you would have even hesitated to ask him about it.

    In my case, I take my husband in rounds when I see him noticing other ladies (just kidding). We both share an easy relation where both of us talk about good looking girls and good looking guys! If he talks to his ex-gfs I let him talk. IF anything is going wrong, he is the first person to tell me.

    If your husband is not that kind, and if he takes things too seriously or doesn't like you invading his privacy, then I would suggest you to keep a look out for small things or changes in his behavior. Take it up only when you feel things are going way too much and also only when you are ready to face the consequences.

    Good luck to you!
     
  3. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

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    Silently take his cell and delete her number..or invite her to your house and cleverly block his number from her cell..
    Block her in FB from your husbands account without his knowledge.
     
    nakshatra81 likes this.
  4. bruised234

    bruised234 Gold IL'ite

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    OP, I have seen odd behavior in my case from beginning - maybe not like the way you describe, but comparison with other women, talking too good about some girl he turned down before marriage, avoiding me in a public function so that she wouldn't see me, holding all other women in high esteem while speaking low of me all time, abuse what not. Yet, I had the good sense to shut up those times. However, someone carelessly and irresponsibly ranted lasted year when I went to meet them - they probably did not know how bad it would be for me, but I gave in due to a weak moment, I took their words seriously and made the stupidity to check on his phone and all hell broke loose from then on. He continues being himself, he is looking after his health, his career while my health and career are both going on the low side, keeping the comparison issue aside. I lost my sleep due to this, now that I want to sleep to my heart's content, I am unable to. How would you feel if you saw someone's profile for your own reasons and your husband asked you the same? Would you stop it because he told you not to. Maybe you will but won't you be disgusted with him for asking that question? Is there any reason for your discomfort? Are you guys not behaving not a normal couple? Is your husband not treating you like a wife? Think about it. Once you let suspicion creep in, it will suck you like a leech - don't do it.
     
  5. nakshatra81

    nakshatra81 Senior IL'ite

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    dear op,
    i totally differ on this.rather than saying what to do.letme say what not to do.don't move close with the colleague or his family.if your hubby has some bad intention ,his first move will be getting close with the family and to invite them for dinner or lunch together.creating chance for family outing and meetout.so you avoid all these.As others say that" if your hubby is happy with you then why do you bother?"it makes no sense.however intimate you are it doesn't matter .they wait for a chance to flirt others.all the ilites may think why to confuse you so they are convincing you.thats not good suggestion i hope.again this doesnt apply to everyone.some guys like homely girls,some may like smart girls ,well groomed regardless what ,when those girls differ from you ,they tend to get attracted especially wife of colleagues working under them rather than superior's one.
     
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  6. anitalovesyou

    anitalovesyou Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you for your help ladies, you all are the best ! I think we all wives should be extra alert when it comes to our husbands. And yes like some of you said, all husband wife relationship is different from one another, but I think there are certain traits which run common for all
     
  7. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    I don't think you should react to this or feel moody for this problem. I know, it hurts and it is indeed uncomfortable for a possessive wife. It also depends on how possessive you are and how much your H knows about your possessiveness.

    But practically speaking, it is very common to lurk at someone's pics, and it all depends how you are getting attracted to that some one. In this world of social media and pics of others in your palm (mobile), it is all just common to see through the pics of someone who is attractive.
    It is just like crushes that we have on others, and it has nothing to do with your character or relationship with your spouse.

    The other day, I really got attracted to a man (not sure whether he was married or not) who attended a meeting with us. He was handsome, and very attractive. I remember looking at him, and finding reasons to look back just to have a sight of him. I also looked through the meeting pics to see him again. But that was it. After a few days, I forgot it all.
    I even cracked jokes with my colleagues about this guy and my crush on him. But it was a joke, and everyone laughed at it.
    Ya, I know... I am married and I am not suppose to look at other men. But it is just an attraction, and crush and pretty normal and this one is no way related to cheating or relationship issue.
    Let's leave such harmless crushes as it is. Ignore your H for now. I am sure he will be normal in a few days, and feel silly about having a crush on someone's wife.

    But if you confront or dig through it, you both will have bitterness afterwards.

    Let's wait to check whether it is just a crush or something more. If your instinct alarms it, you should definitely confront.

    But don't think you are anywhere less attractive or less loved by your H, just because he is attracted to someone else. This is beyond love, and this is how our mind and body works. We are not saints, so don't have santly expectations in real life.
     
    nakshatra1 likes this.
  8. catwalk

    catwalk Gold IL'ite

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    Seeing is not a sin. It is natural I think.
    But step further could be a concern. Avoid such situations.
     
    sindmani and nakshatra1 like this.

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