Husband Likes To Play With My Emotions

senoritaaa · Apr 28, 2018

Hi,

Often there are fights between me and husband over trivial issues , ego clashes, parenting differences, Inlaws issues , Friends issues etc . It is been arounf 10 years now and I dont think these differences will ever end. He likes to criticize /Bug for small small things , Like clothes lying around, Things out of order/messed up etc.

I get super irritated and fight begins. I feel fight could have been averted , If I had known just to ignore his comments.

But the problem is because of these pettty fights we are distanced much. No sex, Less talk, less common activties together. Infact the quality of life has come down and always stressed also.

I also feel, He purposefully doing these things to make me sad and angry. He is very tactfull and will not fight much but adamant gets what he wants by pestering me , and has good control over his emotions too.

How do I tackle.

I just cant ignore him and goes behind trying to fix the isses after my anger is setteled .and he enjoys it i suppsoe and keeps on ignoring me and playing with my emotions ...Pls help me ...
I am very stressed.....

Sandycandy · Apr 28, 2018

Friends / IL’s issues is not something worth undergoing so much stress for in a marriage . Pick and choose your battles. Only make noise when it’s something major and affects your well being , self esteem but not your ego. Take care !

nemesis · Apr 28, 2018

“To love is to suffer and there can be no love otherwise''.

10 years and going strong!

parvathi1980 · Apr 29, 2018

He maybe saying small things that push you over the edge nd then arguments happen. I suggest think of what will happen if you respond to something he says. You both will fight and both of you will be hurt. So don't react. He may just stop being nasty if you show strength. Think before you respond. Best is to change the topic or crack a joke and move on. It is tough but not impossible.

DDream · Apr 29, 2018

Op, When you keep on getting irritated for everything, no one including your husband will take you seriously. They consider it as your nature instead of understanding the problem . So pick only important battles. Consciously make efforts to not get irritated for silly things. Tell this to yourself and practice . When you get irritated, try to change topic or try to walk away or ignore as if you a deaf person.

He treats you this way , becsuse you are sllowing him or giving chances to him to treat you this way

If he criticise you after doing everything, tell him "this is what I can do, if you think you can do a better job, do it yourself . You should appreciate before criticising etc..Demand respect. You are his partner not his servant .
Be wise , think well before talking anything . Do your job well, create your own world, be happy. Dont chase him . Then he will come to you. No one likes the company of an irritated person. But respond well when it necessary to do so.
So be positive.

Rosey2018 · Apr 30, 2018

Play him at his own game and demand respect. Once he knows you’re not going to take it anymore he’ll change his tune

Tell him I do a lot during the day you don’t do anything. He’ll try to prove you wrong.

I assume he’s a grown man, why can’t he pick up his own clothes and help out. We don’t live in the Stone Age. He needs to clean the mess too. It’s not just your responsibility.

Try to talk less about things you don’t like. With inlaws sort it out yourself if you can and give them less of your time.

Honestly if he’s rude to you and does things on not purpose play him at his own game and give him responsibility.

yellowmango · Apr 30, 2018

Lack of intimacy is making you both cranky.Work towards that if possible.

Learn to ignore the nagging .Do as much as you can and tell him he is free to do the rest.