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Husband lies all the time

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by ARCHNA, Oct 13, 2005.

  1. ARCHNA

    ARCHNA New IL'ite

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    my hus band lies a lot. especially about his family and stuff related to them. whenever he'll talk on the phone with them he will start lying and they will also start making up stories with him. they help him become a bad husband. what shud i do?
     
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  2. roja

    roja Junior IL'ite

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    It is common!

    Hi,

    Not only the husband, in many houses even wife would not want to tell everything between her and her parents family. I would not see it as lying, may be it is to avoid sharing things that might not be so pleasant or acceptable.

    It can also be to avoid things that doesn't concern their own family, especially between them as husband/wife.

    Take it easy...do not bother much about it. Why unnecessarily get worried about the stories being made up?
     
  3. vinu

    vinu Junior IL'ite

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    Why should he lie?

    Hi Archna,

    I can understand how bad you would feel. But why should he lie? You can ask him directly and give him the comfort that you are ready to accept about him and his family as they are. Praobably, that might solve this problem.
     
  4. umasridharan

    umasridharan Senior IL'ite

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    Re: lies all the time

    Dear Archana
    First of all find out y he is lying? Is there any problems in his family? Is he mentally upset with his family?
    If his lies are beyond the limits, consult a doctor.
    Regards
    Uma
     
  5. Padmash

    Padmash Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: lies all the time

    hi Archana,

    its understable how uncomfortable u feel. There may be some problem which he don't want to share with his family memebers, so he may be lying, may be he feels unsecure telling truth to them. Actually ur problem depends on what type of things he lies, is it related to family matters, job or it is his habbit. right now u r the closest person to him, slowly try to take him in confidence, try to know his relation with his family relation means r they in good tune or competetive or jealour or money minded, i think u can reach some conclusion. u can change him slowly after observing all the conditions.

    be happy

    padma
     
  6. puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: lies all the time

    Hello,
    It is a a very common problem between husband and wife with respect to family matters.
    Even my husband does it all the time even though we are married for 9yrs.
    They lie to us because of hiding things and they don't want to share the financial problems , their family problems with us.
    They feel low and they try to cook up stories to show us that their family is good and they don't have any problems etc.
    Just keep yourself cool. ANyways there is no point in worring about this because if your husband had considered you has a family member and had confidence he would not lie /hide things from you.
    You will get used to it, initially you will feel bad for all these things.
    Only way to change your husband is to build confidence with him, then he might change. It is very difficult tasks for us to build confidence as his people will always try to spoil our efforts.

    Good luck,
    Punitha
     
  7. Ria2006

    Ria2006 Silver IL'ite

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    Re: lies all the time

    umm.. that s tough problem to solve.. But here is what I would do..
    Buildign faith is most prominant thing in any close relation. It doesn't come just by exchanging garlands.. It come with living through thick and thin and not taunting , and not using up the information to blackmail.. I know it sounds like tough thing..
    You have to build faith and confidence inch by inch , brick by brick in a marriage. Every family has some or other issues.. instead of wanting to know.. Its better to support them to be part of that family... I won't insist to know anything.. which he doesn't want to tell.. I would just tell him things about my family all and frank.. and conitnue to do it irrespective of what he does... This over the period of time will change any tough nut.. I can bet on it.... Very often we withheld things about our own families.. and we may have contributed towards creating insecurity.. or may there can be real difficult issue..
    What may sound as lie to you.. could be his vulnerability he wants to hide.. Let him hide.... Who know with time.. the problem gets solved and you would n't veen have to bother. I would say.. Let Him be.. Let him lie.. alll his lies.. Just be yourself.. and forgive him for these trivial things.. All you need to do is..learn to accept the person with its flaws.. a situation with its bit of ignorance.. We all belief our parents because we have spent sime 20-25 years with them...

    Hope this helps.
    Ria
     
  8. misba

    misba New IL'ite

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    even my husband lie a lot how could i overcome it
     
  9. indianguy2010

    indianguy2010 IL Hall of Fame

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    It is a 5 years old thread. Why do you renew it now?
     

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