husband gets influenced by friend

sushnp · Nov 11, 2012

hi
my husband always gives importance to his friends and family than me
he always shares personal problem with friends who sometime give a wrong opinion abt me
he gets influenced by them they dominate on him
when i ask him to take decisions on his own
we always have fight
for him wht ever his sis and his friends say thats final
wht ever they say is always something which is against my wish
so we have fight
and he says i want to separate him from his friends and family

indianguy2010 · Nov 11, 2012

How long are you married?

sushnp · Nov 11, 2012

married for 4 years my husband is like this from day 1 i did everything to change him
in this process i have become bad
he says becase me he lost contact with gud friend

he takes imp decisions by consulting his friends
not me
only anything related to kitchen he asks me

Eraser · Nov 12, 2012

Your husband might feel you are not matured enough. Stop fighting for this - your fights and bad mouthing about his friend's influencing him is not going to make discuss-with-wife-first as his mantra, rather it might make him not even to reveal if any decisions are made unless you get to know from its effects.

You genuienly appreciate him for any good decision he made, give suggestions on where few could have been done differently without hurting him.

sushnp · Nov 12, 2012

thanks @Eraser
i will try i try my best to keep quite but sometime i get irriate with this nature of his
i do not know why from the very next day of marriage he is like that
his mother , sis friends everyone dominates on him as he is very soft to them

he had a differnet plan about planning kids but his sis told something
so he changed his dicision again later i got upset and he went and told this to a friend
he told that its too late so he should plan than again he changed his plan
he shares everything to his friends in off they inturn come and sujjest me which i do not like i feel insulted infront of them
his frined changed his ph no so he also wants to do it
his friend is asking him to buy some car so he wants to buy that
i am really tired of this life
i just have to cook clean take care of kid

Eraser · Nov 12, 2012

First you pls mentally get out of that last statement (cook, clean only) - it may be the situation now but eventually you will be much more than that.

He’s dependent while making certain decisions – but why it’s not you? Simple, his ego wants to assume that at least one person in his circle is like him / below his intelligence and that’s you. Sorry but that’s how I read it.

Take for example (plans to buy car that his friend suggest) - pls go along for test drive and give honest feedback and motivate him to trust you / your suggestions - What I say may sound theoretical but confronting doesn’t do any good and motivate him