1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Husband doesnt want a baby now

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by nr11, Jan 27, 2012.

  1. nr11

    nr11 Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    123
    Likes Received:
    14
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    Hello frens,

    I am a member of this site and I regularly observe this forum for years. I have also posted my queries when i was single and now I am married to my love :thumbsup. Me and my DH married last April and all is well so far. We had a great courtship period of 8 years,and now i want ur suggestions for the problem I am facing now. We both decided to have a baby an year later of our wedding. But now my DH is not interested to have a baby as he wants some more time. The reason is,he is into business and his career is at a beginning stage. We have couple of loans and we both manage them as I m also working in IT. We do have financial constraints but we tend to manage it. My DH says it would be difficult for us to have a baby now. It would take years for him to settle down but I dont want to wait. we are of the same age (26) and I want to have a baby asap. My DH is scared of medical expenses and always says he doesnt want to take risk. He wants me to wait for another 2 years. I am nt ok wit ths decision of his. I agree with his point but not totally.we have been having fights for the past week and I dont know what to decide. Frens pl suggest a solution.
     
    Loading...

  2. satchitananda

    satchitananda Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    16,216
    Likes Received:
    22,912
    Trophy Points:
    590
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi nr11,

    Why are you not willing to wait for a couple of years more? Is it worry about the age factor? You are still young and have plenty of time ahead of you. I don't think that should be a cause for concern at this point in time. Waiting for 2-3 years should not hurt.
     
  3. Jananikrithsan

    Jananikrithsan Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,161
    Likes Received:
    128
    Trophy Points:
    128
    Gender:
    Female
    There is no problem here! He is not saying he does not wnat a baby at all!
    Why dont you sit back and enjoy life with the man you love, baby will follow once he settles down and feels he can take on the responsiblity of being a father! That trust me is a phase to be enjoyed, so give him time!
     
  4. Pranjjal

    Pranjjal Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    489
    Likes Received:
    477
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Is there any specific reason u want baby asap because 26age is not so much. Get well settle in ur job too so that you can take a break for ur baby. If ur hubby wants to wait then u can think on it. You still have pretty much time in ur hand because it is better to hv a baby before 30.
     
  5. Megalife

    Megalife Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,731
    Likes Received:
    2,535
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi
    2-3year is a good time span between marriage and a new addition to the family. Kind off gives you a bit more space for the two of you as a couple while you emote and evolve in each others company. It's always better to give yourself the luxury of settling down even in terms of finances before the baby, for, with the baby comes in an enormous wave of responsibilities both financially and emotionally. The first three yrs succeeding the birth of a child needs a lot of commitment, sleepless nights and a total hay-way lifestyle compared to your current life.
    So think it over, since these are decisions which only the two of you can take as a couple.
    Mega
     
  6. RJMK

    RJMK Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    187
    Likes Received:
    138
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Please dont fight and enjoy ur marriage..Baby will follow..He just needs some time to settle down and you can also settle well in your job till then...Do not rush..You have ample of time with you.I think your H wants to have a settled life of his own before bringing a child into this world.Trust your man..His intentions are right ;-)
     
  7. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,921
    Likes Received:
    2,465
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    Can understand what the OP wants as she has already spent 8years with the guy and now wants a baby. A woman can also have her desires of nesting.
    Maybe he is scared that you may lose interest in your job and be a SAHM with your baby and he will be the sole earner.
    Better take a medical policy which covers pregnancy, delivery etc.
     
  8. ridgemma

    ridgemma Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    517
    Likes Received:
    237
    Trophy Points:
    108
    Gender:
    Female
    2-3 years wait shouldn't hurt...save some money and have your first child before 30...Settle down bothways, career and family, till then...Child will follow....
     
  9. Tugga

    Tugga Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    692
    Likes Received:
    80
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Do you have any burning reasons to have a kid asap despite of your husband's take in it? It could be your health factor or any other important concerns that you think your husband is overlooking? Or Do you know any particular reason that your husband worried so much in this regard?

    The decision of TTC should me mutual... It doesnt mean that you should wait till your husband is ready... and vice versa.
    You can try to convince your husband and make him understand your concerns. Also, you can try convincing yourself by understanding your husband's points in this regard.

    If one is so adamant and do not want to see the honest concerns of the other, then you need to see whether there is any hidden agenda!!! Good luck.
     
  10. DaffodilGirl

    DaffodilGirl New IL'ite

    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi,
    I had the very same issue with my spouse. I wanted a baby and he wanted to wait for a bit. I asked him what his reasons were and he told me the same. He wanted to do a bit of travelling and get to know each other (arranged marriage) well before we have an addition in the family. I then told him, its fine, but then we decided an exact month and year after which we're going to TTC, so that case, both of us have a clear idea and can make plans accordingly.
    So girl, relax for now. Create a pleasant environment around. Stay happy when you are with him. Living as boyfriend-girlfriend is different. Give him time to soak the responsibilities of being married. When you are happy as a couple, baby will follow. Btw, I am as old as you, DINK (Double Income, no kids) are and still happy.
    Wishin you all luck Girl!!
     

Share This Page