Husband doesnt trust my parents

Kd, your brother is also in US, so he too can show them US later. I read previous post as well as this one. Tread the path carefully this time. Better not burden your parents & also your husband with this pleasure trip. No one is in financial state to afford it right now. So let it go. Once his MBA is over and he gets a good job, you can show them Europe or US (in case you come back). Unless, of course, you have enough savings from your own job to finance your parents trip all by yourself.......

 

Hi
Please tread carefully in these matters again. I think its best if your parents visit US if you/ your brother/ parents themselves are able to fund their tickets. Trust me its not worth it if your husband loans and funds them and his parents are funding themselves.
Following things might or may not happen in future:
1. Husband and his parents may point out in future that your parents visited at his expenses esp he had to loan
2. Things dont just stop here....think of the outings, restaurants, gifts you need to buy them....
3. Things like this spread like wildfire amongst relatives and all old issues will re surface and make rounds that your parents had fun while poor sil was working hard

Isnt it nicer if you and your parents hold back now and its such a good feeling when u fund everything yourself. No one needs to feel awkward. Be it Europe or us they can always visit it ina year or two.

My version in case it helps
My oh who initially told me that he would fund my parents for our first childs delivery cooly backed off later....outright cheap behaviour according to me! He later offered to pay half which I refused to take the charity. Btw we had no finance issues. We should have booked their tickets as they are coming for our sake. But thankfully my parents paid for their whole trip. I am from a middle class family and that was a big amount for my parents but I salute their self respect. They did not feel awkward the whole stay....infact my husband later on felt guilty. Although I did feel horrible and still do plenty times that I could not pay for their trip...I feel happy that my parents have done a good thing by booking tickets (I have repaid them in other ways after I got a job although I never told them that its for the tickets they spent on...made me feel better within).

Similarly when u work invite them and treat them like king and queen .....else your brother can always show them later.
You will feel better soon...dont worry girl.

 

Seriously...do you ever think of things from your husband's point of view. He is doing his MBA taking a loan.I feel bad for the poor man.

 

I haven't read a single reply but from your OP, here is my stand. You and your husband SHOULD pay for your brother's education and your father should not pay you a single dime, your brother should pay you everything back, plus the inflation, if not interest.

This way, your brother gets education he needs. Hopefully, he will be motivated enough to work hard and get a new job. He will 'learn' the lesson in life, if he should take loan.

I am telling this from the experience of DH. He left India 14 years ago, with 6 lac loan. Imagine 6 lac 14 years ago, for a person who earns about one lac per year. His uncle had just deceived his father in property issue. My husband did his masters and went on to do his PhD. He paid everything back in one year after starting his PhD. he tells me often, how he never bought tomatoes for the period he was doing his masters, because the canned tomatoes were so cheap than the real tomatoes and so many other stories.

Now, DH has learned a BIG lesson in his life, to save up for the rainy day. His first priority is saving and then his fancy electronic toys.

So do it and convince your husband. A little bit of charity in your own family will not go waste, but will build a bond. There is absolutely no guarantee that you or your husband will not need your brother's help in future. Build a bond, don't break it.

 

Hi,

I feel you should talk to your dad when he can repay the amount let him take time if he can't do that now.And go ahead and borrow that much time from husband. What matters is standing on that word. And if possible get a job soon and save some money like a 100 dollars every month and give them to your dad if you want to help him.

I always prefer to have my own account and a joint account for savings. Every month you must take some money for your personal savings. And from that personal savings you can help your parents.

If I were you I will do the same. And if you work its easy to say I want tp sponsor for my parents trip..now you can't do that as u r not working. So better wait you get a job and your dad repays ur husband.

..
sweety

 

Op, after reading your post i feel very bad for your dad. He must have spent all his adult life providing for family, kids etc. And even now he is under so much pressure from all sides - buying home for nani, taking loans for son and what not. Imagine the stress he is going through.

I really think your bro could have been more responsible, taken an educational loan which he could repay himself once he has a job. And please try to get into a job soon and help your dad financially. They deserve a peaceful life atleast now.