Husband calls India everyday

We are married for 15 years and still having relationship problem mainly because of MIL. She is very clever, controlling, possessive and manipulative. My husband calls his mom everyday consistently like morning ritual. If he doesn't call she will call from India. We have vonage and he used to call her from home in the beginning. Now he got reliance account and calls her from cell phone immediately after dropping off kids to school. Even Saturday and Sunday they talk for an hour when I am not at home. He is so obsessive about her. Even when we visit India, he doesn't like to go anywhere. He just like to stay home and chat with her. They just talk like two ladies. They know that I don't like it and they deliberately does it more and more. We have fought about this issue again and again. Recently he accused me as useless and jealous person. I feel terrible and hopeless. I don't have a career and struggling to find a job. He says I will never get any job. She is planning to visit us in summer and I am already feeling miserable. She is such a drama queen. I can not imagine what I will go through. I am so depressed and can not focus on job search also. Please give your input.

 

It happened again. When I was thinking life is ok and not that bad. She(MIL) has so much control over our life, even though she is living in India. Her one phone call is enough to spoil the balance of my everyday life. Yesterday my dh could not call her as usual, because he had well check up appointment early morning. So this lady called repeatedly in the morning and she kept on calling in the evening.
My DH returned her call when we got back home at night. She told him she couldn't sleep, she worried about him etc. After the phone episode, we argued late night. My DH is very nice otherwise. Just one phone call is enough to see his other side. She expect her adult sons to spin around her. Otherwise she keep reminding them. I think she deliberately does this to spoil our life. I can not convince my DH. He is very protective of his mother. For him she is the incarnation of God. He does not have the habit of doing regular pooja but very devoted to his mother.
Do you think it is normal to call us 7-8 times a day for missing his routine call? I am still upset and angry .

 

parvathi11980, as you said I have to change my perspective. It is painful to
keep fighting for ever. My dh enjoys his calls and he is very adament about it.


yellowmango, I am not clingy like him and call my parents once a week, rarely call my siblings/cousins. He will not object to any of my calls unless I tell him to reduce the frequency of his calls.


Brevity, He used to call once a week before. It has become like this since last year. It is not just the calls that is bothering, all the things associated with that.
We talked about it and now he is ok with calling alternative days. But that lady is not able to accept it. As you said, I have to shift my focus instead of being consumed with this routine.
All the time my visit to India or her visit to here brings so much anxiety.

 

Thank you yellowmango. Tell me about it, am already having nightmares.