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Husband being very selfish

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Gowrhi, Jun 7, 2013.

  1. Gowrhi

    Gowrhi New IL'ite

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    Hi...

    i have been married for 3 years with no kids.....my hubby is troubling me alot ...He is very selfish in spending money for me and he expects my mom to do all for me...But he wants me to obey him by not asking any thing for my own other than food....He fights with me for silly things...from the day 1 of married life he is very cunning and selfish to me...Not only he troubles me even my MIL ,FIL and his BIL all fights with me for unwanted things and my hubby is also not supporting me....MIL and FIL dont let me to visit my mom's place.....they will screw my hubby's mind and we will end up in fight...likewise there many things to share to u all but feel down and not able to tell more.... I feel very lonely and depressed ..At times i feel to come out of this life... Not able to take a good decision.....Kindly advise me please........
     
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  2. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Gowhri, you'll have to focus 1 thing at a time to improve your life.
    Your current post shows total loss of interest and returns in marriage...
    Since you don't have kids... u can decide if anything is there in this marriage that can hold you back... or you'll be happier elsewhere.
     
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  3. cedantseq

    cedantseq New IL'ite

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    you have to make your parents talk to your husbands about his behaviour, before that you have a private talk on your needs, your thoughts about him, if nothing works, talk to a marriage counsellor, if nothing works, go for divorce
     
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  4. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Gold IL'ite

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    hi dear

    time and again i keep telling it to a lot of my friends that financial independence is a very very important thing for a woman. First try and talk to your parents about this situation so that they are aware ofthis. Next, get a job for yourself. It will help you get your confidence back. I see that you are in US. Try work from home options if you are on a dependent visa or learn something new there. As i said earlier, if your parents are aware of your situation, they might be able to assit you in taking a loan for your studies if you want to study. Once done with this, think what you want in life.
    I personally feel that until a woman is confident, she wont be ready to take any bold decision. prepare yourself to face the world which is not very fair towards women.
    Hope this helps.
     
  5. Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    He is not just selfish. He is abusive and stupid enough to allow others to manipulate him.
     
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  6. RadiantFlower

    RadiantFlower Platinum IL'ite

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    That's so wrong.
    You are his wife; so what if you aren't working, he still ought to be giving you housekeeping money as well as a personal allowance.

    It is your right as his lawfully wedded wife.
     
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  7. Gowrhi

    Gowrhi New IL'ite

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    I have already told bout his behaviour to my mom and dad is no more...My mom finds it very difficult to handle this situation.If she advises to him he'll fight with my mom tat ur daughter is not a good wife to me and he 'll blame me like anything.I was working in india so tat time i was financially independent and now i am jobless here so i need to depend on him.Dealing with a tough situation...he every time runs behind the money and he wont spend money for himself nor to me but he is ready to spend only to his parents... I didn't mean it wrong.But he should also think bout me and his future family.Feel very bad.........
     
  8. Gowrhi

    Gowrhi New IL'ite

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    God hasn't given me any happiness in my life ...No job and No kids......Life sucks alot with no holdings.... Scared bout my future with this selfish husband...
     
  9. sirila29

    sirila29 Bronze IL'ite

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    thankfully you dont have kids. it makes the situation worse.
     
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  10. friendlygirl

    friendlygirl Silver IL'ite

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    First of all big hugs...
    Financial independence is key floor a woman. I don't think your husband will object to idea of you working because it means more money. Find a job....establish yourself and spend for yourself. It is always hard to get into working mode again after a break but trust me it is worth it.
     
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