Husband anxious over money. Does not allow me to spend at all.

One important thing to note is that he dislikes spending on himself also so it means that he is not selfish, just basically unsecure about money due to brainwashing from his parents. The best thing to do in this situation is praise him to the skies and above specifically mentioning how much he has saved towards what type of future expense. Not in front of others, you dont want other people to know how much money you have, that will invite loan requests. Praise him for his financial acumen, discuss with him how well he has secured your childrens futures, your old age, how nice your own house is and how well placed you are in your own family and how well he is looking after you.
If you want him to buy a shirt for himself dont tell him, ask him. ASK him pleasantly whether the shirt is good enough for wearing to a wedding. If he growls and says yes leave it at that. While at the function, point to some body he dislikes in particular and say, that shirt will look much better upon you, wont it? or say see these people none of them are as successful as you are and they are wasting their money on new shirts for somebody elses wedding. (this should be someone he likes but dosent mind commenting upon). There is a lot you can do to manage a husband without his knowledge but it involves swallowing your pride a lot. I have a periyappa he is crorepati now but he still wears nanji pona shirts for functions, nobody cares, because everybody knows he has money. Those who have money whatever they wear to functions will be accepted. Apart from his stinginess in the household he is a kind and generous man who helps others a lot. Look for the positive points in him and forget about his stinginess.
Sometimes the best way to happiness is to develop a thick skin bullet proof rhinocerous skin if necessary.

 

Is there anyway you can get our own bank account to save and spend as you wish?

If your husband doesn't appreciate the gifts you buy for him, don't waste your time.

Seems money keeps cropping up in marriage and unfortunately, those who have control of the money, have control of the marriage - even if the person in control of the money earns less, is less attractive etc. I penned my thoughts in a recent blog (although the comments are more enlightening). I must tell you, I never had relationship, married, so this "fresh" perspective may also help you.