Offlate I have started having this continuous feeling of turmoil within myself. I have been having a lot of misunderstandings rather arguments with my mother over many things. My relation with my in-laws is not great either due to many bitter incidents. Let me tell everything in detail. I have been married for 11years and have 2 children. Was living in a joint family with in-laws until I relocated to USA and was working as well. Presently a home maker and will be joining work once my younger one is a bit older. My sister has been married for 7 years and has a child who is 3 years now. She is working while my mother takes care of her kid. I had my mom come over to USA for taking care of me and my children post my delivery. It was her first visit here. She is a working woman and so she applied leave to visit me. Her character is such that she gets influenced by whatever others say. Likewise many people told her that life in US is very mechanical and one will feel bored etc etc. From the very first day she landed here she was constantly sitting with a sullen expression on her face and she used to say life is very mechanical here and in India it is more lively. Well, she is not a social butterfly in India too. She does not mingle with neighbours or relatives. She stays with my sister and she likes her family very much as sis's husband was my mom's collegue. She is very lively at my sis's home. When she came to my home, despite her knowing my hubby very well fro 11 years and even before that since mine is a love marriage she did not talk to him much. In fact she did not talk to me much at all leave alone taking care of me post partum. Small things also she was not doing right like preparing whatever i had asked her to, She was acting like she is getting bossed over by me. By nature i am a perfectionist and she knows that but she was behaving as though i am ill-treating her by calling her and ordering her to do this and that while all i was doing was asking her to take care of me and prepare stuff that i had been dying to have since i had gestational diab during preg ad could not eat many stuff. She kept complaining throughout and used to goto a room and browse endlessly for recipes but never used to cook any!!! She used to secretly call my sis's husband and talk to them as though she is feeling alone here. I used to take her out for walks, taught her to use internet which she learnt, hubby used to take her out to diff places. She was not interested to make friends with other ladies(my friend's mom was here too). Many a time while she was here I have tried having a conversation with her asking her whats troubling her and why she is behaving so weirdly. She refuses to talk to me(problem right from before marriage with her) like she talks to my sis. Once back in India, she has told her feelings to my sis saying that I was rude to her and used to scold her and that she has cried herself to sleep many times.My sis picked up a fight with me despite me having told her myself what had happened here between me and mom. I felt betrayed and now not in talking terms with her. Ok, let me tell you what i did too. My mom is new to USA. So i had to tell her few stuff like how to use the bathroom, kitchen stuff etc etc. Also, I used to tell her how we liked our food. Ex: she makes dry subzis while we like ones with gravies for rotis. I even showed her how much water to put. For this she felt like I was teaching her how to cook etc etc. I like to keep all things ready for baby before the bath time while my mother lets the baby wet and then searches for towel, dress, diaper etc. Simple silly things like this. I managed to cook all speciality items for her depsite my back pain post delivery(cause i know she would not come back here ) and heavy bleeding but she never had a word of appreciation for it. If my sis cooks she used to compliment. So i started comparing and picked up a fight cause i was hurt. 3 months she was here. She was happiest the day she left USA. Now i have a marriage to attend in India and I told her that I will be travelling with the kids and while returning I would like her to come with me. Sis is back in work and sis's hubby is in another city on a transfer for 2 years. So mom, sis and her kid will be at sis's place. So mom said not possible due to situation. I said, why cant you have sis's mil come over for 2 months at least and u can come over here to spend time with my kids for atleast 2 months. She started giving reasons like sis MIL has shoulder pain etc etc. and she cant let sis and her her kid alone nor have sis kid goto day care. In an earlie incident in my sis's baby shower, she got dressed for everybody except me and when i asked she said you don see all these formalities so i did not buy. Its not about formalities, it is about the feeling of me being wanted there.. she did not understand that. Lot of things like this has made me feel so unloved. When i told her i am going to settle in US, her first statement was, who will settle the ongoing property issue!!! I don get the love and affection from MIL anyway(she cares excellently for my SIL and I envy her for that) and from mother too. My dad is irresponsible from before and it was mom who brought me n my sis up to what we are now. But does that mean that is the only duty. I know of many single moms who not just provide basic needs but also display love and affection and are there whenever the chilren need them. Here, she is there only when my sis needs but she does not accept that. Either there is a mental problem with me for being disliked by all or it is just in my nature to expect a lot. Whatever it is, I am feeling very down. I told my mother I will come for marrige in India but will not visit her or stay. Will stay at in-laws place(hav no other place to go) and leave after a short stay fo 15 days while in fact i was eager to stay for 2 months. Every other mother in the planet loves her daughter dearly and showers affection. Here mom, mil all are shunning me. Feeling like crying continuously, Cannot tel this to anybody. Used to tell my sis my feelings but she used those against me to pinpoint me and my attitude. My mom and sis both are lazy and do stuff slowly while i am a perfectionist and have been that way since the time i knew about my existence. Feeling depressed.