Reality and Imagination Reality and Imagination [font=Verdana,] Small boy came home after the school and immediately he goes to his father. Because the teacher was explaining in the class something about Reality and Imagination but to him it was not clear, he asks his father "can you tell me which the difference between Reality and Imagination is?" trying to be as objective as he can .He reply to his son: "go boy to your mom and your sis and tell them that a very handsome young boy asked you about them, that they are beautiful,like, he would love to share some moments alone with them but tell this to each personally and after they reply come and tell me what they said". Boy goes at first and after that he has don what his father asked from him, he comes back and tell to father that "mother, when she heard me what I told her, her eyes start shining and asked me about the boys name and where he lives and is he really so cool etc." also the sister did the same, maybe she was more interested in details than mother. Than father told to the son: Boy, Imagination in this case is that I always thought that I have a faithful wife and a very educated daughter and Reality is that we have two sluts living in same house with us .:evil: :clap[/font] [font=Verdana,] [/font]
Mortgage Problems Mortgage Problems [font=Verdana,]One day little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy him a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we have a $80,000 mortgage on the house, and you want me to buy you a bicycle? Wait until Christmas." Christmas came around, and Johnny asked again. The father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry about that. Ask me again some other time." Well, about two days later, the boy was seen walking out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. The father asked him why he was leaving. The boy said,"Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say that you were pulling out, and mommy said that you should wait because she was coming too, and DAMN if I'll get stuck with an $80,000 mortgage!" :bang [/font]
Obsessions Obsessions [font=Verdana,]A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children... "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy." At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers. "Come on, Dick, we're leaving." :rotfl:wave [/font]
Most Wanted Most Wanted [font=Verdana,]Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to the local police station, where they saw pictures of the 10 Most Wanted men tacked to a bulletin board. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want him very badly." So Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?" :bang:rotfl [/font] [font=Verdana,] [/font]
Boss......... HOW TO START YOUR DAY AT OFFICE WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK ? 1. Open a new file in your PC . 2! . Name it "Boss " 3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN 4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN 5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Boss permanently?" 6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly.... 7. Feel better? HAVE A NICE DAYclap:clap
Dealing With Snoring Dealing With Snoring [font=Verdana,]By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. ''You've got to have a room somewhere,'' he pleaded. ''Or just a bed, I don't care where.'' ''Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,'' admitted the manager, ''and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you.'' ''No problem,'' the tired Marine assured him. ''I'll take it.'' The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. ''How'd you sleep?'' asked the manager. ''Never better.'' The manager was impressed. ''No problem with the other guy snoring, then?'' ''Nope, I shut him up in no time,'' said the Marine. ''How'd you manage that?'' asked the manager. ''He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room,'' the Marine explained. ''I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me.'':tongue [/font]
Home Cooked Meal Home Cooked Meal [font=Verdana,]A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card, invite her to your apartment for a home cooked meal?" He thought this was a great strategy and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone. "The evening was a disaster," he moaned. "Why, didn't she come over?" asked his mother. "Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook ..." [/font][font=Verdana,]:bang[/font]
Falling Falling :idea: [font=Verdana,]There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "if I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen". This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the Mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, "you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen." The Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no-one had told the new priest about the code word. Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, your own wife fell three times this week.":clap [/font]
Reluctant Cow Reluctant Cow [font=Verdana,]The only cow in a small town in Poland stops giving milk, so the villagers buy one from Minsk for only 1,000 rubles. Because the cow is so wonderful, they buy a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. However, whenever the bull goes near the cow, the cow moves away. The people are upset and decide to talk to the sage. They tell him what's happening: "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from behind, she moves forward." The sage thinks about this for a minute and asks, "Did you buy this cow from Minsk?" The people are dumbfounded. "Yes," they say. "How did you know?" The sage answers sadly, "My wife is from Minsk." :bang [/font]
You Know You Are A Desi When <form name="frmAddAddrs" action="http://address.mail.yahoo.com/yab/in?v=YM&.rand=33965&A=m&simp=1" method="post"> <input name="fn" value="Riz" type="hidden"> <input name="ln" value="" type="hidden"> <input name="e" value="oneriz@yahoo.com" type="hidden"> <input name=".done" value="http://in.f336.mail.yahoo.com/ym/ShowLetter?MsgId=6975_0_155925_831_1405_0_671_2794_2400189033_oSObkYn4Ur5HQVvr2mDutFFQc.qyVk0nKSAx55hrEYatj.N9M2BXrgLPsQKS1cQyXmyIerGcrNl85sZ0m5OyGzH0DtxSlmTicPaGaKVEZ0CpZ04igClfL5J1iKBCzscGHG0QxZXwi3aHW9.XYqx9AOEE6A--&order=down&inc=&sort=date&view=&head=&box=Inbox&YY=34070" type="hidden"> </form> <!-- type = text --> YOU KNOW YOU ARE A DESI WHEN :tongue * Your house smells like fried onions. * When you tell your parents you got 98% marks in an exam, and they ask you what happened to the other two percent. * You make tea in a saucepan. * You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it. * You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes. * You have a 'Singer' sewing machine at home. * Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years. * You hide everything from your parents. * Your mother does everything for you if you are male. * You do all the housework and cooking if you are female. * Your relatives alone could populate a small city. * You were not that intelligent so you studied computer science or business instead. * You know no one who has studied music. * You went to a university as far away from home as possible. * You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished. * You only make telephone calls after 6:30 PM. * You like the meat well done. * You eat onions with everything. * You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup. * You fight over who pays the dinner bill. * You say you hate Indian films (/songs) but secretly watch (/hear) them with your parents. * You teach Westerners swearwords in your language. * You order Indian food in English language to impress the people you're with but the waiters don't understand you. * You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex. * You secure your baggage with a rope. * You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all possible members of your family who have come to pick you up. * You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage, which is just 80 lbs. overweight. * You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of the royal family. * You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles just to get to school. * You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go. * In addition to cooking, you also use oil as a grooming aid. * You have annoying nicknames. * Your mother measures wealth only in gold and diamonds. * Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try to demonstrate how well it works whenever they're not fighting. * Your parents compare you to all of their friends' kids. * No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit. * Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going to be a doctor or engineer.
