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Humour

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by sonu_627, Dec 21, 2005.

  1. safa

    safa Bronze IL'ite

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    poor kid!

    President Bush was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water.
    He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted. The first kid says, "I want to go to Disneyland."
    Bush says, "No problem, I'll take you there on Air Force One."
    The second kid says, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's."
    Bush says, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!!"
    The third kid says, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!"
    Bush is a little perplexed by this and says, "But you don't look like you're handicapped."
    The kid says, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved you from drowning!!!"

     
  2. sonu_627

    sonu_627 Silver IL'ite

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    sardarji bahout cute hote hai!!!!!

    Sardar1:- Marte Waqt Aadmi Ko Kya Dena Chahiye?
    Sardar2:-Birla cement
    Sardar1:-Kyun?
    Sardar2:- Kyunki Is Cement Mein Jaan Hain
    ________________________________________________

    Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and
    says "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon".
    The other sardar replies "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main
    Bol Raha Hoon!"

    _______________________________________________

    A Sardar had called an Englishman for lunch.
    There was curd on the table.
    The guest asked what is this?
    The Sardar didn't know English,
    He said "Milk sleeping in night, morning becomes
    tight"

    _______________________________________________

    Once a sardarji tries to cheat the Indian railways. He
    is thinking for a novel idea. He thinks a lot and
    finally he did one thing, he bought the ticketand
    didn't travel.

    __________________________________________________

    A sardar was drawing money from ATM. The sardar behind
    him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur
    password. Its 4 asterisks(****). The first sardar
    replies, " Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong. Its 1258."

    _____________________________________________________

    What is the height of stupidity?
    2 sardarjies sitting on a motorcycle & fighting for a
    window seat

    ______________________________________________________

    Did you hear about the sardarji who is so rich he has
    two swimming pools, one of which is always empty?
    It's for people who can't swim!

    ____________________________________________________

    Santa Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandhar?
    Driver: Which part?
    Santa Singh: All of me, of course!

    ____________________________________________________

    What do you call a Sardarji in a deep well?
    A deep thinker..

    __________________________________________________

    Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas
    color TV hai kya?'
    'Haan' replies shopowner.
    Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'

    _________________________________________________

    AT INDO-PAK WAR
    Once in the Indo Pakistan war, Pakistan was fighting
    fiercely and capturing
    everything in sight. A sikh camp called Gurudwara
    hideout was crucial to defend from
    the pakistanis as it contained all the defence
    secrets. The pakistani forces
    surrounded the base and the sikhs had thought that
    they had lost the battle but,
    suddenly out of the bushes jumps Captain. Hari Singh
    wearing a Maachar
    dani!(mosquito net) He Pulls out his AK-47 rifle and
    fires like mad. The pakistanis run
    off quickly. The next day Hari Singh gets a medal. His
    friends ask him "Yaar thu
    maachar daani kyon pehenke gaya tha?" Hari Singh
    replies "Maachar daani itni patli
    hote hain ki agar maachar nahin ghus sakte, goli kahan
    se ghussenghi?

    ___________________________________________________

    In the following war Hari Singh retires and his son
    Gani Singh No Assumptions
    Please!) joins the army. Pakistanis are again
    surrounding the Gurudwara hideout, the
    sikhs again think they've lost the war but out of the
    bushes erupts Gani Singh
    wearning nothing he tries do shoo away the pakistanis
    like his father did but instead
    gets shot. In the hospital his friends tell him "aare
    yaar, therre bap me tho itni akal
    thi ki vo maachar daani pehin ke gaya tha, aur tu
    nunga chale gaya". Gani Singh replies
    "aare yaar main tho odomos lage ke gaya tha"!
    </pre>
     
  3. sonu_627

    sonu_627 Silver IL'ite

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    Love Letter.....Bollywood Ishtyle!!!

    WHEN I AM YOUR : KAREEB

    THERE IS ONLY : KHAMOSHI

    I WANT TO SPEAK : DIL SE

    THAT'S MY KIND OF : ISHQ

    I WANT THIS TO BE : GUPT

    AS I ALWAYS HAVE : DARR

    THAT I WILL LOOSE YOU : SAJANI

    AND THAT WOULD BE GREAT : SADMA

    I AM YOUR : MR.AASHIQUE

    BUT SOMETIMES BIT : DEEWANA

    TELL ME : HUM AAPKE HAIN KAUN

    AS I FEEL : KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI

    IN THIS : DUNIYA DILWALON KI

    I TOLD YOU : MAINE PYAR KIYA

    MAY BE : DIL TO PAGAL HAI

    BECAUSE : JAB PYAR KISISE HOTA HAI

    THE WHOLE WORLD APPEARS AS : DUSHMAN

    BUT ANYWAY : PYAR TO HONA HI THA

    BUT U MUST KNOW: PYAAR KOI KHEL NAHI

    BUT IF U WANT 2 BECOME : DULHAN DILWALE KI
    THEN U MUST RESPOND 2 THIS : PUKAAR

    N DONT MIND COZ THIS IS MY: STYLE

    I HOPE YOUR ANSWER IS : YES BOSS

    N IF U SAY NO THEN I KNOW LIFE IS: KABHI KHUSHI KABHI GHAM

    I DONT KNOW WHAT WILL B MY: ANJAAM
    </pre>
     

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