Modern Bhagvadgita Saar... Hey PARTH, Increment nahin mila, bura hua Salary cut ho raha hai, bura ho raha hai Retrenchment hoga, wo bhi bura hi hoga... Tum pichhla review na hone ka paschataap na karo Tum agle review na hone ki chinta na karo Recession chal raha hai... Tumhare pocket se kya gaya jo tum rote ho ? Tum company ke liye kya business laye the jo tumne kho diya ? Tumne aisa kaun sa product banaya tha jo fail ho gaya? Tum koi experience le kar nahin aaye the... Jo experience liya company se liya... Jo project kiya company ke liye... Degree le kar aaye, experience lekar chale jaoge... Jo function aaj tumhara hai, Wo kal kisi aur ka tha... parson kisi aur ka hoga... Tum ise apna samajh kar kyon magan ho rahe ho Hey Paarth, Yahi khushi tumhare tension ka kaaran hai... Kyon wyarth tension lete ho, kis se wyarth darte ho Kaun tumhein nikaal sakta hai ? Policy change to company ka rule hai Jise tum policy change kehte ho, woh to Management ki trick hai... Ek pal mein tum Increment ke baare mein sochte ho Doosre hi pal mein tum stipend par aa jate ho... Review, increment etc. etc. sab mann se hataa do Vichar se mita do, phir company tumhari hai, tum company ke ho... Na yeh increment wagerah tumhare liye hain, na tum iske kabil ho, Parantu job secure hai, aisa socho phir tumhein tension kyon hoga ? Tum apne aap ko Company ko arpit kar do Yahi sabse bada Golden Rule hai... Jo is Golden Rule ko janta hai Wo review, incentive, recession, retrenchment aadi Bhramon se Sada sarvada muqt hai. Chal UTH, Kaam Kar, Promotion Ki Chinta mat kar Parth.. Karm hi Tera Bhagya hai..... :bang:bang:bang
Marriage in Heaven!! A young couple were driving down the road one day, happily, deliriously in love and due to be married the next day. Suddenly, a large truck swerved from the oncoming lanes into their car! BOOM! And they both died. At the Pearly Gates, the young couple confronted St. Peter. "Sir, you have to help us! We were to be married tomorrow.Is there any way we can be married in Heaven?" "Hmmm," replied St. Peter, "I don't recall there ever being a marriage in Heaven. Well, let's take it up with God and see what he says." So they approached God with their plea. God sat for a moment, pondering the request. Then he looked down and said, "Come back in five years and ask me again." Five years later, the couple approached God again, even more in love than ever and pleading that he allow their marriage. God paused for quite a while, musing over their request. Then he spoke, "Come back in five years and ask me again." And once again, five years later, the couple was again in the presence of God, more in love than ever and begging God's permission for the third time to marry. This time God smiled broadly and thundered, "Yes my children, you may marry!" Well, the wedding went off beautifully, the reception was huge, everyone thought the bride was simply breathtaking and the groom was soooo handsome, and everyone was happy! Until... Two years later, the couple was back before God, and things were not looking so good. The couple had come to the realization almost immediately that although marriages were made in heaven, they didn't last very long there! And,inspite of their struggles to come to terms with the situation, they had decided there simply was no alternative but to get a divorce. Black clouds fractured by lightening rolled across the sky, and the ground shook with explosive thunder. God glared down at the tiny couple before him, his face becoming dark and angry, and he roared, "Divorce?! Impossible!!! It took us TEN years just to find a priest in Heaven! Do you have any idea how long it will take to find a LAWYER?!!" tongue:tongue
Godd Sons Godd Sons [font=Verdana,]There were three men in a bar. All three were sitting at the bar stool and one got up to use the bathroom. The other two men started talking. One man said, "So what's new in your life?" The other responded, "Well I just found out my son got a promotion. He used to be a janitor at the bank and now he is an executive. On top of that there's someone special in his life. He just bought his new love a brand new Lexus." The other man says, "My son also got a promotion and he has decided to settle down. He bought his new love a new house on the beach." The third man comes back from the bathroom. He looked kind of upset so the other two men asked what's eating him. He responded, "I just found out that my son is gay. The good part is his lover bought him a brand new Lexus and a new house on the beach."tongue:tongue[/font]
Great Party Great Party [font=Verdana,]Sam had been in the hectic newspaper business for twenty-five years when he decided that he was sick of the stress and quit his job. He bought 50 acres of land in the middle of Nowhere, Vermont. His place was so isolated that the postman came only once a week and he went to the grocery store only once a month. After six months of near total isolation, he hears a knock on the door. He opens the door and a big bearded Vermonter is standing there. He says, "Names Enoch...your neighbor from four miles over the ridge. Having a party Saturday...thought you'd like to come." "Great," replies Sam. "After six months of living like this I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thanks for inviting me." As Enoch is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you, though, there's gonna be some drinkin'." "Not a problem. After 25 years in the newspaper business, I can drink with the best of them." Again, as he starts to leave, Enoch stops. "More 'n likely gonna be some fightin', too." Tough crowd, Sam thinks to himself. "Well, I get along with people. Don't worry, I'll be there. Thanks again." Once again, Enoch turns from the door, "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too." "Now that is not a problem," Sam says. "I've been up here all alone for six long months. I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?" Enoch stops in the doorway one last time and says... "Whatever you want. Just gonna be the 2 of us there."clap:clap[/font]
Bravery Bravery [font=Verdana,]Three generals, one from the Army, another from the Marines, and a third from the Air Force, were having a debate with a Navy Admiral about whose soldiers were the bravest. To prove his point, the Air Force general calls over an airman: "Airman! Climb that flagpole, and once you are at the top, sing 'Wild Blue Yonder', and then jump off!" "YES SIR!" replies the airman. He takes off for the flagpole like a shot, scales up it, sings the anthem, salutes and jumps off, hitting the ground at attention. The general dismisses him. "Now that's bravery!" exclaims the general. "Ah, that's nothing," says the Admiral, "Seaman!" A seaman appears, "YES, SIR!!" "Take this weapon," as he offers him an M14, "Scale that flagpole, balance yourself on top, stand at attention, present arms, and sing 'Anchors Aweigh.' Salute each of us, and jump off. "YES SIR!" replies the seaman. He sprints for the flagpole with the weapon high over his head, and completes the task perfectly. "Now that's courage!" says the admiral. "Courage, nothin'" snorts the Army general. "Get over here, private!" "YES SIR!" replies the private. "Put on full combat gear, load your rucksack with these rocks, scale that flagpole, come to attention, present arms, and sing the National Anthem, salute each of us, and then climb back down, head first." "YES SIR!!" replies the private, and completes the task. "Now that is a brave man! Beat that!!" They all look to the Marine. "Private," he says. "YES SIR!" "Put on full combat gear. Put these two dogs in your pack. Using only one hand, climb that flagpole. At the top, sing 'The Halls of Montezuma', put your knife in your teeth, and dive off, headfirst." The private snaps to attention, looks at the general and says, "F**K YOU SIR!" The general turns to the others and says, "Now THAT'S bravery!"clap:tongue[/font]
Good Sermon Good Sermon [font=Verdana,]A man finally goes with his wife to church, after promising her for weeks that he'd go. Surprisingly, the man was so impressed with the preacher's sermon he stopped on the way out to shake his hand. "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a DAMN fine sermon." The preacher says, "Why thank you sir, but we don't used profanity in the house of the Lord." The man says, "But preacher, seriously, I'm not a religious man, but that was the best DAMNED sermon I ever heard." The preacher says again, "Sir, while I appreciate what you're trying to say, I must be blunt: DO NOT use curse words in the Lord's house again." The man says, "Well, anyway, I was so impressed with your sermon that I placed $5000 dollars in the collection plate". "No ****?" says the Preacher. :tongue[/font]
Shy Guy Shy Guy [font=Verdana,]A very shy guy goes into a pub on Valentine's Day night and sees a beautiful woman sitting alone at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I brought you a drink?" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the pub is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table totally red faced. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologises. She smiles at him and says, "I'm really sorry if I embarrassed you just then. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." The man responds, at the top of his lungs, "No I will not pay $200!"[/font]
Golfing On Sunday Golfing On Sunday [font=Verdana,]One Sunday morning, a priest wakes up and decides to go golfing. He calls his boss and says that he feels very sick, and won't be able to go to work. Way up in heaven, Saint Peter sees all this and asks God, "Are you really going to let him get away with this?" "No, I guess not," says God. The priest drives about five to six hours away, so he doesn't bump into anyone he knows. The golf course is empty when he gets there. So he takes his first swing, drives the ball 495 yards away and gets a hole in one. Saint Peter watches in disbelief and asks, "Why did you let him do that?" To this God says, "Who's he going to tell?" :rotfl:rotfl:rotfl [/font]
Tough Operation Tough Operation [font=Verdana,]Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside an operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?” The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out, and I’m a little nervous.” The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up, they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze.” The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?” “A circumcision,” the first kid answers. “Whoa!” the second kid says. “Good luck, buddy. I had that done when I was born. I couldn’t walk for a year.” clap:clap[/font]
