How Would You Take It?

I am guilty of doing this. The reason I do is I spend the whole time preparing food and cleaning the house and sometimes it just so happens I dont have enough time to freshen up or shower before they come and am doing that just when they arrive. Could that be the reason in your friend's wife 's case ? For me personally if they are close friends, i dont mind if that happens in my house or theirs..

 

You could casually try to ask her what she was doing inside and ask her if you can lend a hand.

 

Maybe she is getting ready for the function so it takes time her to come out and talk to you ( it is in theirs house)..After finishing everything only we go for getting ready...
At your house means Most of desis never come on time.
Guessing always gives wrong estimation so it is better to ignore or ask her directly....

 

OK... It seems you see the wife, but it takes loads of time. It is not that you never see the lady of the house, when you visit there.

The possible reasons from my experience>

1- I personally take time (not a lot of time, but some times say a few mins) to pop out of my room when guests are around. If the guests are my relatives, best friends etc... I would have no problem about my messy hair or dress or oily face, but I would just come out and greet them casually. But if the guests are my H's side, or colleagues or some outsiders (I mean not so close buddies), I would definitely take my time to freshen up, do the touch ups, and come out. Because being the lady of the house is not easy. Specially on the occasions of having visitors at home, makes the women end up doing everything like cleaning the house, arranging, cooking, and preparing the stuff needed for the party... thus almost no time for make up, fresh up. Only after the first guest's arrival, I rush to my rest room to change my dress and do the basic make up to look pleasant. I am no confident to go before my not-so-close buddies after some heavy works at home.

2- Confrontation or misunderstanding with spouse. Some Hs do not consult their wives when inviting their friends to their house. Sometimes the lady isn't ready to host guests, sometimes she is forced to cancel her plans to be the host. Sometimes she may not like the idea of hosting a party that time. Sometimes, she may be restricted to invite her folks, while her H freely invites his.
These differences really make the wife to show coldness towards the guests, though she least connects with them. The coldness is more against the H than his guests.

3. No freedom.
Some chauvinist men do not like their women to come out, sit and chat with their friends just as a friend. They suspect, mistake and feel offended should their wives behave casually. This can lead to serious problems later on.
On this line, some women are ordered never to come out or stay outside while H's friends are around. So, for the formality's sake this women might have popped out to serve drinks or snacks.
More importantly, these chauvinist men look pretty normal in the eyes of others.

 

I agree with most of @SGBV 's points.
Specially the third point, mostly goes well with our Indian double standards. I myself faced this at times.

My mother in law avoid sitting in a chair mostly when guests come. She is comfortable only with her side relatives.
I would avoid only when there no space in chairs.

would like to tell one incident .. this uncle i.e my FIL's friend came to our house to invite to their house warming function. Being 8 years in this marriage I know this uncle well , could converse well.

When this uncle came, I was already seated in a chair with my DD on lap. Even though there was good no of seats left, after 5 minutes , my husband signaled to go inside. I was furious,humiliated but went inside with DD.

Later he told that it would be disrespect to be seated in front of elders, it followed arguments blah blah blah...

After this, whoever came i did not even mind to greet them. or such kind of people. Don't even bother to serve them with drinks or snacks.. until FIL or DH asks for.
I will just serve and leave the place without greeting again.

 

I don't think it as an issue. Generally happens with most of my friends and even I am guilty of doing this. There are always some last minute tasks that I have to do or get ready or comb my hair or change a diaper or could be anything. Even sometimes we wait for the husbands to appear may be he is using the restroom etc. I don't take it as an offence since we usually stay at any friends house or vice versa for 2-3 hours I think its reasonable to give them freedom to do any last minute thing before we start our chatting session

 

Try going once without informing her, when her husband is gone to work. One relative of mine would always go n bath when someone rings the calling bell. She would have been busy working in kitchen and looking dirty , so doesn't want others to see that form of hers