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How Would You React If Your Loved One Suspect Your Well Meaning Intention?

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by SGBV, Sep 19, 2019.

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  1. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    How would you react if your loved one suspect your love or your well meaning intention?

    I have a very close relationship with my brother. He is just more than a brother to me, and he too treats me as his second mother.
    We share a lot and trust each other so well.

    We share a level of understanding, we truly believe that we are there for each other.

    The above is not just my feelings, but my brother too have confessed the same several times before, and we both conduct our selves accordingly.

    5 years back when my brother got married, there was a problem in his family. His in laws had a heavy suspicion about my future intervention to their DD's marriage life. Therefore, they were very tricky in separating US (me and Bro) in so many ways.
    Due to this, my brother fought with them and stayed away from his PILs for a while.

    Since their fear is all about me, I felt like staying far away from my bro's family to prove my innocence. Thankfully, I was blessed with a job in a diff country around that time; hence I moved out with family.

    However, SIL lied to my brother during their peak of fights that I fought with her, threatened her and also I CURSED HER UNBORN CHILD IN HER WOMB. She promised this on her unborn baby!!!
    This was a serious accusation, that turned my Brother against me for a while. He was hurt for it and told mom why should I cursed the baby, as it is also his baby.
    I denied, and tried my best to clarify that so called fight had never happened in the first place, and I never cursed the child.
    My brother accepted it later on, ask forgiveness from me, and we moved on.

    Years later, SIL too asked forgiveness and forgot all her fears after understanding the fact that we are never a threat to her life. We had a smooth relationship since then.

    5 Years later, a worst hurricane damaged our entire life in the name of Leukemia. My brother's first child is diagnosed with Low risk Leukemia, and is on treatment.
    As always, we are all together in sharing their pain, praying, and helping the family in all possible ways.

    Now that, all of a sudden I heard through my mother that they are discussing about my curse.
    My mother said that my brother and family is worried, because they think it was my curse that has affected their child.
    Even my mother thinks I may have cursed and it is very bad to do that when I have children of my own.
    I felt devastated. How come my brother even think like this? Forget about brother, how come my own mother think on these lines. Shouldn't she advocate on behalf of me, and clarified things?
    Though my brother did not show any difference in his talks so far, I see a sudden silence from SIL now.

    I know my mom won't lie. But she can exaggerate things.
    She is always tensed about my relationship with my brother, though I have never cared or intervened about his marriage matters.
    Most of the time we would chat about cricket and politics as best friends, and our fights too would be around these subjects.

    If brother has been thinking like this (which I am not at all responsible, but a pure lie from SIL), then I can never forgive him.
    In fact, I continued to pray for my brother and his child for the past 1 month by holding fast and serious offertories, with a hope that this child recovers.
    Now that, I don't feel like doing it for them. I feel like cheated, disrespected, and blamed for nothing.
    And this is not simple.

    When I think my brother knows me well, and our relationship is build on the rock of understanding... What is the point of holding on to such a relationship after this?

    In fact, there were many times that my H and PILs intervened and accused my brother for something or the other. But never once in my life I suspected him.

    Now I feel broken, and lost.
     
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  2. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    Give it a few more years... they will come around to apologize. That is how I'd answer that title question.
    In the meantime concentrate on your own family and life.
    Someone else turning weird is a matter of their freedom to express.
    Ignoring it, is your expression of freedom and intelligence.
    She "swore" not promised.

    Quite a dramatic family, indeed !! A good way to alleviate all this pain is to recommend the same guru/baba/aacharya you had used to pre-nullify all curses on your children from all of your family members, both home and away. You can recommend the services to your brother's family, showing how it has worked well for your own kids. This is the best strategy, because trying rationale on the lot of them already so strongly sold on your powers of witchcraft would be so hopeless.

    A third party service to remove all curses would immediately free you from the liability, especially if you had recommended that, and even paid for part of the cost.

    Your husband's cousin thrice removed if he has the free time for some freelancing, might even perform the requisite rites to remove the hex as a pro bono service. Or you can pay him transportation or per diem costs. Make sure you remind him that there has to be smoke, some fire, explosions if he can do it safely, not too much spark like deepavali, but some would be OK.
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2019
    Thyagarajan, shravs3 and Sunshine04 like this.
  3. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    But I don't understand your points at all. Could you clarify?

    Yes, she swore on her tummy when she was pregnant that I cursed on that baby.
    Regardless of whether you believe on such curses or not, a parent would definitely worry when he hears something from his carrying wife.

    I have never used any baba or guru to nullify any curses on my children. From where did you get this news?
    I think you are referring to the BM thing that I was worried in the past. I still have doubt on my PILs and my brother's PILs for that.
    Regardless of whether these BMs were true or not, I can't ignore the fact that a suspicious metal was removed from my home by a Christian priest.

    Let's forget about BM.... What I believe as BM is the mind set of these people who want to separate families and people.
    Such people can curse, can do BM, can interfere negatively, and can twist and turn things against each other.

    My MIL and my Brother's MIL have been doing this for ages. Not just us, but many of their own relatives have been victimized by them in the past.

    They are such a dramatic families for sure. In fact, after joining them in the name of marriage, we too have become very dramatic these days.

    Our lives were very different, and very simple for the past many years before we met such nasty, cunning, crooked, people as in laws.

    Blaming our fate, without knowing what else could be done.

    Of course I should try to locate that Priest from Kerala to nullify bad omens from my brother's place too.
    Things have changed upside down with us since the past year after his prayers. But locating him when we are in need is the real challenge.

    When evils are overpowering, only prayers can save us. And for your information, the service is FREE.
    No need to pay anything other than submitting ourselves to God.
     
  4. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    He has to worry about his wife... and believe whatever she dishes out... That is for sure.

    Ah..ha... then it is a Priest not a mullah, guru, baba, or some other type. The suspicious metal removal had been a soothing event for conducting life in that house; hasn't it? It shows how powerful a curse-removal prayachittam can be. Your brother's family ought to get on it right pronto.
    All a reality show, nothing is done to do serious harm. It is all just fun within the larger complex family structure.
    Yes, while you are doing the free thing, you can continue your efforts to locate the Priest for your brother's family.
     
  5. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    I think you are dragging this matter to a different discussion.

    I can answer all your questions, but that's not the point of posting this thread here.

    This OP is not about Curse removal or whether curse have any effect on a person's life or not.... NOOOO... Not at all....

    This post is about my hurt, and my disappointment as a sister when I hear something like this through my own people.
    I don't mind if that is said by some X or Y or some relatives. Because they don't know me fully.
    But my family should know me, and as I believe our relationships are build on the rock called understanding.
    When they suspect of me cursing my own brother's DD (forget about the power of cursing), I feel detached.
    Because I wouldn't believe if someone says the same thing against my FOO. I would fight for them, and make the other party understand.

    That's why I feel betrayed here
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2019
  6. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    When your own people are engaged in superstitious and disappointing behavior, you must stoop to conquer
    You can seem to believe what they do, and work with their superstitions to find a palliative. That is all there is to it.
    That way, you'd find a closure to this misunderstanding (betrayal ?).
     
  7. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    I do understand what's going with you.
    Don't mistake brother, he is in pathetic condition with such a small child. His mind may waver start to believe different things. He is fighting a battle.
    All you and me can do is sincere prayers for the child and family. I will pray chant to remove the disease. God sees pure hearts.
    It's reasonable to get angry over brother, but he trusts his wife.
    Soon the misunderstanding will be over

    Eg my beautiful saree got oil grease just after some aunty told it's beautiful. It was my mistake didn't see the lamp but my mind would think that aunty said beautiful suddenly this happens.
    Not related at all.
     
  8. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    If he trusts his wife, and if they are sharing a beautiful relationship, then I wouldn't even think otherwise.
    But unfortunately he and his wife have fought a lot in the past, for the matters that she does and talks purely with the influence of her mother.
    Even recently she had told a lie against her own sister, and later the truth came out in no time.
    My brother, my mother and everyone in our family knows that this woman can lie. We never consider her seriously. Because she lies, and comes back with a forgiveness. She is not a serious woman, but very playful and childish and in a way innocent too.
    So, my anger is not at her. Not even at my brother. Because he is going through a lot. But my anger is on my mother, who failed to defend me when needed, rather suspected me by siding them.
    Also, I feel bad, guilt (for none of my mistake) to initiate talks or communicate as before regarding the child's health now, because I subconsciously know that my bro has mistaken me.

    My brother is someone who treats my kids as his own. My kids love him like a second dad.
    Same is the story with his DD and my relationship.


    Curses are for real. When certain people curse you at certain time. They are mentioned in the holy bible by Jesus in one of his teaching. He says "The fig tree you cursed has withered!"
    What matters is the intention, not all the lose talks are curses. And sometimes, certain things happen coincidentally too.
    But in any case, I have never cursed or scold that baby. Why did she say something unrelated at this very sensitive time?
     
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  9. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    Again and again you seem to have misunderstood my post. Let us not drag this misunderstanding any further.

    Problem is not the superstitions not the solution to these superstition?
    Well, that can be a solution to the problems that they face (i.e their health issues).

    But problem here in my OP is the misunderstanding.

    Well, tomorrow a priest can come, remove a BM (let's say) and even reveal who was behind it.
    But can my bro or SIL or even my mom take back their word against me?

    Well, They can come back and apologize. They can say 100 reasons to suspect me. But can they fix my broken mind?
    Because I too have went through a lot in life, but never once I suspected my own people.
     
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  10. Madhurima21

    Madhurima21 Silver IL'ite

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    I totally can understand your mindset. I know it's hard to forget and forgive their actions. Take a break from them for few days mentally and try to go for a trip. Try to spend with the persons who values you more. Time will be the good medicine.
     
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