Background - Having lost our father at a very young age, me and my brother (elder by a year) are very close as we've held hands through thick and thin together. I got married almost 6 years back and went out of country, supported my brother and now crossed the life tests. Both of us are doing well in life. It still brings tears to my eyes when I think of the storm we stood thru together. My brother got married after this and its almost 4 years now. We came back to India once for all this year. I love my brother a lot and now my sil also as she makes him happy and slowly but steadily I have started seeing them as one entity (please note that this is nothing against her, but it has been hard as sometimes I have been in situations were I've been made to feel like I no longer should get his attention. I ignore it as passing phases and see nothing into it). Why does she make me feel as an outsider? I want to try and reach to her, i love her too and care for her too.. so confused and upset dat she sometimes obviously tries to cut me off when it pleases her. I dont offer advice, I dont interfere in anything at all! I have in no way got in between her and her husband at any point. Never ever have I discussed any of this with my brother or my mother in anyway. She is younger than me and they are yet to have a baby. I tell myself she is very possessive of my brother as she has her own insecurities and my brother is her only pillar till she crosses this stage. Im young too and sometimes it hurts very badly when someone tries to cutoff me from my brother's life. I've been with him for 24 long years and probably some of the worst in our lifetimes. Am happy for him today and would like to see him do better and stay beside him, but as a sister. I acknowledge the fact that he is married and his own family is his priority now and do not in anyway want to compete with that setup. Question - To those whose husband's have a sister, what would you love to see in your brother's sister? What would make you see that she is not your competition and think of her as your own sister too? Why do you act like husband is 100% yours and should not think much of his family? Im also a married into a family and dont understand what changes when there is a sister in the family. Please note am not trying to find fault with her here, so please dont say that. Im looking for your opinions on what would help me and my sil cross bridges and get closer. It would kill me mentally, to stay in such measured distance from my brother. We are financially independent also, so no money issues also. I know only time and my persistent reach out to her will solve this, but it is really hard emotionally. PS: If your husband has a sister too, please do not think of her as competition. You are a wife and she is a sister, the roles cannot be changed and everyone clearly knows who stands where even if they dont admit it in front of you. Imagine your daughter and son in the latter years and see if you can relate to your husband and his sister being close. Just my two cents, ignore if you dont like it.