Hi wonderful ladies, I am one of those women who have been really unlucky in career and life. Many things I can speak here on this forum and many can not. Anyways, I have been looking for jobs and inspite of having such a good background I do not find anything near by. Partly I am at mistake that I lost patience soon. Job #1: I started this temp job at uni(far from my location) thinking I might give me break for some time from job searching. But 2nd day at job, I was exhausted. It is taking 14 hrs me outside home. Company is v good, people are v good, stable/peacful but location and commute. Its killing me. Before joining, mgr not much WFH but now agreed to 2 days. after couple weeks But I need to be in office 8 hrs (ofourse that is right). Working in commute won't count. If I drive, It will still take 1:30 hrs each way because of traffic. I see people are fully remote there and it could be because I am started as contractor. I cry coming home every night because it gets too late, I see my LO and am exhausted to do anything or to feed her. Before accepting offer, me and H decided we will move nearby after winter because it meant big change, rearranging all the daycare etc. but I feel I can not do it another week. Even moving nearby, commute won't be easy. Job#2. I recently interviewed at another company and MAY get offer, equally far ( but its subarbs) and okay with WFH. But guess what, one of my enemies ( with whom I had bad history) is working there on very high role. Couple yrs ago, this old crazy guy chucked me out of a contractor job badly. It was v v bad and stung me for years and affected me badly. It had happened for no reason. He had sore eye for me and was always making fun of me in front of everyone and one day, someone pinging me while he at my desk, he blamed and kept blaming me I am chatting. He was micro managing types and used to follow all desi contractors there and had issues anyone spending more than 5 min at water. He removed many people after me and was hatedly famous within dev team (indians). Anyways, haunted by this commute in comapny A, I arranged for onsite for company B, and while looking, I found this crazy works there at v high role. Interview almost finalized so I thought does not feel good to back out now. Her was not in interview panel list. How are the chances I will meet him at onsite. Small world... I crossed him many times on the hallway. He must have seen me as by nature he is. Interview went okay. I am out and I might get offer. Then, Stupidity I had done. Day before, I was looking for people working at that company and I saw his name. Shocked, surprised click his profile w/o thinking twice( that my setting is public). Now, after interview in the evening, I found out he has also viewed my profile. Now... What would you do in this position if you even get offer? 1. He interferes ( or other reasons) and I might not get job. I am okay with that. 2. I get the job, I join because of flex reason. Is my job safe? Its big company and he is at v senior role, I am not directly reporting to him. Btw he is not indian ( incase everyone curious) and he is really crazy guy but some people have all stars lined up for them that no matter how bad they do, things keep workig for them. My incident happened was 5 yrs ago and not far to forget. But it was intense. My friends had called me to say, how did I bear that lashing silently. I should have fired back at him. I was fearful H1B mouse that time. Please help me calm ladies.
Personally, I will continue with Job1. There is always an adjustment period at a new job, give it sometime. Meanwhile do one thing at a time like looking for a new school, house. Even if the commute time can be cut down to 45-60 mins, its better to move and stick with Job1.
Op, Stick with present job and look for one more nearby. Clearly which has work from home flexibility. Don't go for the job you interviewed for. The said person maybe vengeful and may want to unleash poison on you here too. Not worth it. Good Luck.
Couple more things to mention Job#1 - Kind of work or technologies I wILL HAVE to work on, I do not have much interest in those. But falling for company, its very good. So now commute is worst part. Even with me moving close by, I won't be able to drive as it is in the city. I am not a city girl. Job#2 - Technologies are one that I have most of my experience in and I was looking for jobs in similar skillset. Thing is my experience has become mixed kinds. I worked on variety in past 10 yrs and because of which I am finding issues in finding jobs. I lost expertise in previous yrs technologies and I get jobs in what I lately worked on and that is what I do not have much interest in. Anyways, Do u think he will remember? He is old so I assume he would not have changed that much in nature. That was small company and our team had to deal with him directly on same role and he was micro managing. Here its big team and many other managers on similar role. I have come far and not afraid of .........like him. He was evil that time I know. If he ever asks, can i deny knowing him? OR atleast give him hard time that I know him if ever initiated. I was sub-contractor and we had no connection after. Or I may just think about 2 yrs in this company, and rest on god. Btw, I do not have job#2 or may not even get it. Mainly because of this hectic commute, my mind is not settled yet. My job#1 is putting pressure on our family. With my leaving v early and comig v late, my H's responsibilites have increased a ton and also my LO is forgetting. She got sick the first day and still is ( cold/cough) and always want dad and dad is tired and I am not able to be out of guilt. We talk out quitting job#1, but then its just beginning. uhhh america.
sanjuruby, I was about to post this yesterday but dismissed it. The chances of him remembering you IMO could be less, but from your narration I feel he has something against Indians or contract workers. At the same time, the politics, pressure and visibility in a smaller company vs big are different. If you have the time, write down in a notepad a Job1 vs Job2 pros and cons. The first few days are the toughest, it should get better. I guess you need ample rest too to handle everything. Once you get home, even if your LO is asking for dad, just sit with them and get yourself involved in the conversation. One day at a time. It will help.
If you get the second job take it because obviously it if offers you Flex timings which you need. No need to worry about old boss as you are not reporting to Him, if he tries to interfere you can always tell the new boss that your working relationship was not great with old boss so you don't like to discuss him and just ask feedback on your current Performance .
Finally when I had made up my mind to join if I get offer,I did not get the job. I went there in hush hush with zero preparations. Anways, you are right that he had somthing against indians and contractors. He literally would chase new people. He will see them standing gossiping somewhere, pass on and then again come back after sometime to see they are still standing or not. He would keep rotating on desks like clock. Then he will hire and within month or so, get them removed that he did not like them, before indian company ( subcontracting company) be able to start billing them. Why not something wrong happens with these kind of people or managers.
sanjuruby, You took a chance at Job2. Taking the chance is more important than not taking it at all. I hope you are continuing with Job1. Meanwhile you can still search for another job. Best wishes to you!! PS: Its best to forgive the people who hurt us and let go of those feelings. Hope you feel better.
