How to treat/deal with kids having ADHD

Hi All,

Now this is some serious issue that I am facing, but since I have started reading about it, and trying to take help of counsellors, I hope to wade through with ease.

Recently, my DD (6 years old) has been throwing a lot of tantrums and is being too adamant in her behavior. Earlier it was controllable, but now it seems to have crossed limits. Now we are at the end of our vacation, and during this short trip, there were many instances where I could not control her behavior, and tantrums were too much to control that even people around me could not suggest anything.

Yesterday we took her to a psychologist, and based on whatever I have told him, he said that she has symptoms of ADHD. Of course, not knowing about this disorder in entirety definitely was helpful, as I did not panic. But after coming home, I tried to read about this, and came across this link
Symptoms of ADHD/ADD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)

She has most of the symptoms mentioned in that link.
Kids of her age seem to be a little more childish and sensitive to their age related issues, but she seems to be too much attentive to what we elders talk, she always wants to interfere whenever I am talking with anyone. She has a lot of difficulty following rules. This has tested my patience to heights.

There was an incident last week where we had to go for an outing in car. But since there were many people in the car, we had to ask my DD to go and sit in the front. Of course, all the people are known to us. But the tantrums she threw went overboard and she only wanted to sit with me in the back, where there were already many people. And if she also sat with us, everybody will become suffocated. At one point, my uncle had to ask us to get down, because she was throwing big tantrums.

Usually, if she doesnt understand, I have always tried to explain her through examples. So in this case also, we got out of the car midway, and went home. At home I explained to her silently telling why our plan was not completed. She seemed to understand and later my uncle called us back because they were also feeling bad that our vacation was getting spoilt. However, I was half hearted because I wanted to teach my DD the importance of adjusting. I tried to tell them that it was absolutely ok if we dont go, as only then my DD will understand, but they kept insisting. So we went back, and for that moment, she sat in the front. But midway we had a short break, and when we had to go to the car, the same tantrum of sitting with me in the back seat started, and it was more uncontrollable this time. But then, all elders told that its ok leave it, we cant change her. And told all of us to adjust in backseat. In the process, all of us had a tough time sitting in such a small space.

Probably, had I not joined them, she may have realised, but not very certain though.

This maybe actually her first trip away from home with a lot of people. Otherwise she has always been with us, and limited people. And in the building that we stay, there are only 2 kids, and that too their grandparents dont allow them to mingle with anybody.

So, as I kept talking to the doctor, I told him that all these could be possibilities. Even when I wanted to talk to the doctor personally, my DD refused to move away from that place telling that she wanted to stay with me!!! My aunt had to forcefully take her away, and she was crying all through the road.

So the doctor said that she is intelligent no doubt, because he made her do some drawing and creative work, with which he could judge. But he said that she is inattentive and has symptoms of ADHD.

Also, I find that my DD is not able to mix with friends of her age, and always wants things her way. Whenever I notice this, I become strict with her, but still I feel that she doesnt understand.

The doctor told me that the age group from 3 years to 9 years is an egocentric period. But then, since my DD seems to be on the extreme side, I really want to bring it down.

And yes, her attention span is too less compared to what should be for a 6 year old in average. She doesnt sit in one place and leaves most of her job incomplete.

I would like to know if there are mothers out there who have had similar experiences, and I would really appreciate if someone can give me some sort of a professional guidance on what we can do to handle this in a positive way.

What sort of activities will be suitable to divert kids with ADHD? I feel that I need to have more and more patience, but its really testing me and driving me nuts.

I hope to get some kind of serious help here.

Thanks.

 

Hi Dinny,

Thank you so much for that link and your comments.
I found that link so useful, and shall try to implement them one by one.

Yes, as you said, my DD is very forgetful for even small tasks that we normally do. Initially I used to think that she is just a kid, but I think normal kids would pick it up after a few repetitions. But my DD forgets everyday. And she also has trouble sticking to one thing.

Until now, I have been sending her for drawing classes and freestyle dancing. But I wouldn't say that she has been able to concentrate. I think she needs more attention than kids of her age would normally do.

I am really concerned if this can be treated using these kind of techniques, or is it something which will be lifelong. I would really like to hear from moms who have been facing similar situations or those who have themselves been going through ADHD themselves in younger age.

Thanks again Dinny !

 

Yes, I am currently on a vacation, and even I have visited this doc just for an opinion.
I have written to some centers for counselling and trying to seek help.
Once we are back home, I am planning to visit some other psychologist too.
If anyone can suggest some good child psychologists in Bangalore, please do pass on to me.

 

Wow...teacher has given a detailed writeup about ADHD in the first link you have given....
I just brushed through, and found it very interesting....Even my aunt had the same questions about medication, and what the medication will do if we administer it to my DD.....somehow even I am not so much for it, as long as it can be controlled. Teacher has mentioned that this can be diagnosed at 6-7 years....looks like my DD has also shown the symptoms at the same time now.......In a way, I am glad that this short vacation has helped me go through situations which would otherwise not have been visible at my place....

In fact, this doctor also told me that my DD's IQ is good enough and she is intelligent, but only that her inattentiveness and over-dependence needs to be worked out.

I also wanted to know if those with ADHD have problem in mingling with people? In my DD's case, of course, she wants to play with kids and is happy, but she tries to dominate a lot and she thinks that what she does and thinks is only right. And if we go against it, she throws tantrums, and the vicious cycle starts over again.....

 

hi coolwinds,

thanks for your comment. yes my DD is active indeed, and if she sees that anyone or anything can harm me, she immediately gets very protective about me. so it is not that she is dull or something, but just that her social skills seem to be very low, compared to what I feel should have been at her age.

even as a child, I never used to like being compared with other children, and am trying to follow the same for my DD also, but when I see that her activities are not in par with normal kids, and now that doctor also has diagnosed her as having such symptoms, now it is causing me worry.

Does having sugary food also have an impact ? My DD would anytime prefer sweet stuff over spicy food. At one point of time when she was having a lot of choclates, again i used the method of showing examples. I googled and showed her a picture of decayed tooth...and thats it. She used to get reminded of that picture whenver she had excess of choclates. So now it so happens that for almost everything my DD asks for examples in Google!!!

Ok, but by creating a daily chore chart, wont it become like an addiction ? What if she will do it only when she has the chart and not otherwise?I think there should be a better of way putting this chart to use.

Yea, in a way, yes she was trying to seek reassurance, but it was not that I was far away from her. I was just behind the seat, and I even tried telling her to hold my hands..! But she was so much into her own tantrums that she was not willing to listen to us even one bit.

Looks like I have a long way to go...but first and foremost I feel I need to have buckets and tons of patience...!