I have posted a thread about the problems I am facing right now at my family due to my mom and bro in another thread. You can read this thread here http://www.indusladies.com/forums/p...ssues-my-family-origin-foo-3.html#post3679597 From all of your suggestions, I have come to a clear conclusion as below:- - My FOO isn't over from the past issues with my H and in laws yet. This creates a lot of uncertainty when they mingle together. Plus any events like vacations could trigger serious issues even if it was a tiniest difference of opinion. So, it is always better to avoid joint trips, joint ventures etc.... in the future. - My mom is extremely insecure and uncomfortable about the situation where she is in right now. She likes to stay with me, as she believes my house, her role at my family and the surrounding is more familiar and comfortable to her. She likes this way until her last times. However, my bro forces her emotionally and verbally many times to spend equal times at his place as well. He wasn't like this before his marriage. But with his child, he becomes extremely competitive and possessive. So, he thinks it is mom's responsibility to take care of his child, teach her and showers love. His request is also reasonable, because his PILs are living in abroad, and his wife (SIL) doesn't spend quality time with her child (in spite of a SAHM). Bro is way too much affectionate with the kid and the kid is also yearning for dad all the time. He thinks mom can sooth the child when he is not around, as SIL is so mechanical when it comes to loving kids. With this, mom feels uncomfortable to say NO to his request. Instead she pretends as if she is needed here at my place. She even makes me believe that I will be nothing without her. My kids will be spoiled and unattended as every single maid/nanny we bring home is bad. My MIL who comes to be with the kids on and off are very bad, even my kids can't stay with their own dad. She blew up things out of proportion to ensure she is always needed here. I never minded this, and ignored this often as I too was happy if mom could care my kids. She is a best mom, bestest grand mom - no doubt. However, this makes my bro - who is in need of mom - believes that I am forcing mom to be with us. I am emotionally or verbally preventing her from being with her other children. He thinks mom is differentiating between his and my kids, which is not right. So, forcing mom to come there. In this process, he thinks I am keeping mom like a maid, whereas he is ready to keep her at his place as a queen. Mom is dragged here and there at the age of 67, which is most unfortunate. Although I ignore mom's comments all the times knowing she speaks like this to secure a comfortable place at my home, I can't digest when it is directed at me as if I am using mom. I can accept when Bro or anyone blame my H for that matter. It gets to my nerves, and I naturally react. Which causes hiccups, that mom becomes often vulnerable and becomes a ball which is passed here and there. Although she has her own home, its been 7 years since she lived there. The house is given for rent, and mom is enjoying that money. At this age, and health condition - specially her emotional need to be around with people, I don't think she can live alone. This matter has been communicated with Bro, directly and through my other SIS in a diplomatic manner. But he thinks he is doing a great favor to me by allowing mom to stay with me, despite of his child needs her. And he is accusing, I am not treating mom well, not allowing her live freely, and those blowing those past petty issues with my H to say mom is uncomfortable with me. He believes she will be fine at his place. So I really feel mom should live there for a while, and both should have the experience. But can't ask my fragile, emotional mom this, knowing she doesn't like this idea. What to do?