How To Surmount This Problem?

It is very easy to say ignore and make a bond with husband .

How does one keep quiet when someone is abusing your parents again and again ?

How does one live with this person?

How does it help the relationship between the two women?

How does a women improve the relationship with her husband whose mother is abusing her parents?

All this ' ignore and let them sort out with parents'works when the couple are living in another continent and not in the same house with the abnoxious mil who has no class and no boundaries .

These solutions of love them and show care and interest works with reasonable people ...not entitled abusive people bent on creating trouble.

 

What was his reaction ?
If he was quiet....or atleast did not go against you,you should tell him when you both you are alone that you are sorry for the scene but you cannot tolerate her abusing your parents.

 

Absolutely right. Don't fall into that trap.
What someone says doesn't change who you or your parents are; it is simply a reflection on your MIL. The more importance you give, the more you will get all worked up.

 

Next time she is fighting with her son....you go to your room ,put on your earphones and listen to music. Let them fight ....you enjoy that man's minery.

 

Exactly, Escape from the war zone. The smartest thing to do. Innocent people will be killed in war, not only the enemies. By the end of the day they will be mom and son, you will remain an outsider. Realize that truth.

 

But this is just a temporary solution.

If she wants to abuse her and her parents,any excuse will do . How long can one ignore the abuse without losing ones sanity?

How many of us would ignore if someone abuses our parents for no reason ...that too repeatedly.

If someone wants a fight in the house, there will be a fight ....one can't escape .

 

may be even a divorce ...

 

Or may be the husband will one day realise that his mother does not deserve to live with her son and his wife and will take the step towards living seperately.

More families seperate because of fights than going for divorce.

Any thing can happen.

How long do you think a woman should tolerate such an abusive mil ?
Do you think this woman can be won over by love and care ?
How long will the love stay between husband and wife if she is expected to bend over and keep taking abuse?

May be the mil wants a divorce?
It is not unheard of for mil to destroy their own son's life.
The only person who can save the marriage in such cases is the son ....not the dil . It is not in her hand.

 

BUT he will be smothered by his mother ,who says she sacrificed everything to raise him.
sometimes i feel bad for the men caught in between

 

Don't feel bad for grown men who cannot tell right from wrong.

Don't feel bad for men who think they can repay the ' so called sacrifice' by his wife tears.

Don't feel bad for men who think their wife owes their mother for their birth and upbringing and has to pay it with a life of misery.