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How To Strengthen My Marriage - Need Support And Advice Please

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by zahra123, May 12, 2019.

  1. zahra123

    zahra123 New IL'ite

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    dear hermitcrab

    Thanks for taking time to write to me.
    I found indusladies when I was searching for school reviews :)
    Yes I am an expat myself. My kids are 4 and 6. I do have enough friends and social connections here - that is not a problem. I am not an introvert either. But I think my parent's separation and my only sibling's health condition has surely left some insecurities in me since childhood. I used to not share these problems with my friends, I always kept them to myself- (to ex, yes). Now, I do have lot of new friends at work and from my kids connections- but deep ones, no. As you know the relationship with mom is also not that smooth - which I am working on.
     
  2. Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Finest Post Winner

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    Zahra, its ok, sumtymz v find deeper connections with ppl who may not b family. I think it gives u wider perspective. And take ur time to heal. Just dont allow ur past spoil ur present.
     
    SinghManisha likes this.
  3. Ramyarc

    Ramyarc Silver IL'ite

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    The way I see you had two guys after you who persisted on being with you. So lucky you :rolleyes:. I understand that you feel guilty about rejecting the first one. He is doing well so you can feel less guilty about it. The fact that he is in the same city is a bummer.

    But you still have you dh and lovely kids to focus on which is good.

    I understand that you are going through a phase of regretting your past actions. I guess it happens to many of us. You just have to choose something else to focus on and getting better at that. Its tougher said than done..... Surely there will be a day when will find out that you did the right thing.
     
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  4. Angel121

    Angel121 Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear OP

    We all, or most of us have "the one who got away." A part of us will always belong to them, and only them, however, we cannot be with them. I truly believe that who we end up with is destiny. You have a great husband and family, don't jeopardize that by trying to get back what is meant to stay in your past. You need to heal from the past and forgive yourself, and everyone else, for everything and accept that it was just not meant to be. Get whatever emotions and pain you have out of your system. Even if you need to write it all out and burn it later.
     
  5. Ebenipada

    Ebenipada New IL'ite

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    I had problems in the relations, problems with the husband too. It proceeded long enough and at once I decided to understand deeply it and to change something. I even addressed psychologists. For a start it is necessary to understand what men want in a woman. I consider it very important, about it is even written in his secret obsession book. Here I found dating advice for women. This correct behavior, you have to become desired for your man. I even carried out practical exercises which really work.
     
  6. zahra123

    zahra123 New IL'ite

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    Thank you Ramya for your kind words and understanding my condition. Regretting phase was already over in the past years and now it is realization phase :grinning:. I don't consider being in the same city is affecting me much- after all what has distance to do with in the current digital world! But yeah sometimes I wish I could get a glance of him when we are out - may be that's what you meant :grinning:
     
    Ramyarc likes this.

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