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How To Stop Telling Him Everything!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Laks09, Dec 19, 2019.

  1. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

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    you are totally fine.

    i go through this. sometimes, i too won't stop sharing my issues about work and kids. and will continue till i am totally done, H will listen now a days.

    long before early years of marriage, he used become so stressed and sometimes we end up fighting. i was lucky that my mom advised, that some men can handle complex emotional discussions like women. like SinghManisha said, i had to tone down. that is where i started pursuing, behaviors like trying different type of exercise routines.

    after joining work, i could see his too. he had his own inner fears .

    my H won't share a lot, i learnt to listen, to those small comments when talks about himself. like couple of days back , we had invited close family friend , H respects that guy a lot, during conversiation, he mentioned how hard it is too keep up niche technologies with new joinees who are single and work longer to catch up . i would have been upset before why he did not tell, but i now realize it is guy thing.


    and regarding kid, i am not sure how many you have. it will pass in another 2 -3 years, then challenges will be more mental than physical which are now, you will be chasing on their emotional and educational development. H is way better than me, in that area in managing them now.
     
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  2. Aarushi

    Aarushi Platinum IL'ite

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    Wonderful inspiring advice!
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  3. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    @Laks09, I used to vent to DH. And he would sit solemnly and silently till I was done and then he would say, "I think you need a good female friend." So I found myself a simpatico soul to vent to and now he complains that he's the last to find out about anything. :rolleyes:
    .
     
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  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    As a rejoinder I add the following:
    The quantum of blabber between DH & DW (darling wife) has reciprocal relationship.

    2. In the beginning spouse (DH) would do more blabbering and DW would only watch and truly listen . With passage of years between them, the scene gets reversed. DW GETS BOLD And gets emboldened to blabber more and DH pretends to listen.
    3. At some point in the tenure(!) of marital life both blabber simultaneously and none listens to the other. And corollary is in very advanced state or age of marriage, both stops blabbering but merely looking at each other is enough for the other to know what “other” wants to blabber.
    God - when silent exits between couple true communication flows.
     

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