1. Need a brief review of a latest movie? You could also share review about the movie you watched today... Click here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. Liked anything that you read here? You may nominate it as the Finest Posts!
    Dismiss Notice

How To Shut Up And Focus

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by sarvantaryamini, Feb 15, 2020.

  1. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    185
    Likes Received:
    241
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    I am the type of person who cannot keep something to myself if it's bothering me really bad. I need to get it out and vent it to someone. I didn't have this habit till I was 18 or so. And then it started. I used to vent to my mom and now I am still doing this venting to someone or the other that I know. How do I stop this and just stay calm? What are the ways to vent out frustration without talking it out to anyone else? The reason I am saying this, I understood that people cannot really help, even if they do, they start getting irritated after sometime. I am trying hard to keep to myself, but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed, just like drinking or smoking, I need to let it out to someone. I want to stop it and do something about the issues I face instead. What are the good ways to vent out frustration without telling to anyone?
     
    stayblessed and kkrish like this.
    Loading...

  2. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,161
    Likes Received:
    2,422
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    It’s great that you realized the ‘problem’ and are already looking for a solution. That’s a great step up.

    Write all your feelings n burn or tear it
    or voice record on your phone n delete it.
    The point is to just get it out of your system n not telling actual people. Don’t keep it in, it generally doesn’t help.
    Eventually this feeling should reduce.
     
  3. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,805
    Likes Received:
    4,592
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    Put on some boxing gloves, and punch something semi-hard, repeatedly, in some rhythm.
     
    AmulB, sarvantaryamini and ARIKA like this.
  4. kkrish

    kkrish Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    5,509
    Likes Received:
    9,777
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    I vent to Perumal (God).
    Life has taught me not to vent to people.
    "Maunam Karoti" is one mantra that I am beginning to embrace.
    But keeping the negative/sad/angry feelings bottled up is also not good.

    So I go somewhere quiet - puja room when at home, a quiet spot at work, or my car when I need to talk loudly - and I go "Perumaaley/ Ambaley (God/Goddess) I cannot understand/come to terms with/ deal with/etc. with this situation." Then I just vent all that I would say to a confidante; all spent I'd sit quietly for some time and go back to regular life.

    If a person would see me he/she will think I am mad; but this is what I do so that I don't go mad.

    For me God has been my best friend(s) so far because whatever I tell to Permual or Ambal, stays with them. No gossip.

    I don't get feedback or suggestions, but I have always felt a calmness after every episode and a mental strength to face the situation. Sometimes solutions also come up. We can call it act of God, or that a calm mind being able to see the situation with much clarity and emotional detachment.

    Try and see if this helps.
     
  5. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,068
    Likes Received:
    1,228
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    @kkrish I follow the exact same thing . Honestly I feel so relieved after crying to God . I feel the emotional act of crying brings out all the stress inside me and I’m very confident it releases some kind of hormones which makes me calm . If you are not spiritual then vent here or find a therapist.
     
  6. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    455
    Likes Received:
    679
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Heres what I think:
    To clear the junk inside the mind: Ashney has given a good suggestion also kkrish mam has a good outlet way.

    To stop the junk entering your mind altogether: Its the acceptance and being mindful. The spiritual way ( its not the same as following a religion).
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2020
  7. ARIKA

    ARIKA Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    92
    Likes Received:
    74
    Trophy Points:
    60
    Gender:
    Female
    I too follow the same thing, instead of giving way to gossips, it would be better to surrender everything before the pada's of god. He not only relieve you from stress, guide you to the right path.
     
  8. kkrish

    kkrish Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    5,509
    Likes Received:
    9,777
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    I am happy to learn you follow the same @mangaii .
    No offense to you or anyone in this forum. I have reservations about venting out personal problems here or anywhere on the internet. It is always risky. Even under an anonymous username.
    I am referring in terms of trace-ability. We don't know when and who will track us and what sort of situations we will land in. Everyone is traceable.
    The best alternate for the non-spiritual is @ashneys suggestion of putting the thoughts in paper and destroying the paper.
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2020
    stayblessed and Thyagarajan like this.
  9. kkrish

    kkrish Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    5,509
    Likes Received:
    9,777
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    Thank you @Roar
    There are situations that take us by surprise. It takes some time and some venting to arrive at acceptance.
    This is just from my experience.
     
    stayblessed, sarvantaryamini and Roar like this.
  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    4,507
    Likes Received:
    4,939
    Trophy Points:
    315
    Gender:
    Male
    @sarvantaryamini tagged.
    :hello:This I agree in toto. Vent by writing in camera & in broken sentences on a blank paper and then shred it and throw into water closet - flush it out of mind . The load is off chest & mind: and a semblance of relief, at times immense.

    2. I learnt this accidentally from my military boss. I happen to see him doing this and asked him the reason for his act. He told this thing!

    3. Vent to persons ( intimate or confidante notwithstanding) invite untimely disasters through third parties as they would pass on the vent heard to another to another....ultimately that damages the initiator’s psyche, his or her career, relationships including SIL, MIL, BIL, FIL & other ills that one can think of.

    4. To Therapists you vent - their profession is to listen to your stories and collect fees. Psychiatrists - the only professionals in the world who make money for listening to others’ (sob or depressing) stories.
    Tabs they prescribe would put the patience to artificial calmness and sleep while enrich the pharma companies!

    5. Senior members in the hierarchy never vent but get the coveted promotion, get into board rooms, become CEO & Chairman. How do they do it? It’s worth Thinking over it.

    God bless.
     

Share This Page