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How To Remain Calm....

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by messedup, Sep 20, 2019.

  1. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Silver IL'ite

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    @SGBV Ma'am we all young women have to learn from you.. I am really pleased by the way you are handling things..

    OP I understand you might have problems delegating tasks but you will have to before you end up in a hospital (touch wood).

    And sorry the point that the kids are always with me stood out..
    They are your own kids don't feel bad for them spending time always with you..because imagine if your parents would have told that about you how bad would you have felt??
    If you are overwhelmed then let them stay at your parents or join them in some classes..

    And treat your studies as your meditation time..it was your choice to continue studying so it means you like doing it..so study with happiness in your mind..

    Take a step back and see the positive you have managed all these so many days..now you know the in and out of it so streamline the process.. and sometimes don't go to see the 5rs that you would spend..if you feel guilty giving all the clothes give 25% of clothes then you get that extra 1 min out of the 5 min job..image 1 min everyday that means 7mins in a week and 30mins in a month for ME time..:grinning:

    See the positive!!!
    And one more thing many people are good at somethings some maybe fast at cooking..some in cleaning..some laundry!! Just find yours and become a expert and reduce time there..

    Always remember the tasks that you have been doing didn't kill you yet so it means you are doing something right!!
    Its okay to feel overwhelmed but don't give up..
     
    messedup likes this.
  2. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Silver IL'ite

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    @SGBV Ma'am we all young women have to learn from you.. I am really pleased by the way you are handling things..

    OP I understand you might have problems delegating tasks but you will have to before you end up in a hospital (touch wood).

    And sorry the point that the kids are always with me stood out..
    They are your own kids don't feel bad for them spending time always with you..because imagine if your parents would have told that about you how bad would you have felt??
    If you are overwhelmed then let them stay at your parents or join them in some classes..

    And treat your studies as your meditation time..it was your choice to continue studying so it means you like doing it..so study with happiness in your mind..

    Take a step back and see the positive you have managed all these so many days..now you know the in and out of it so streamline the process.. and sometimes don't go to see the 5rs that you would spend..if you feel guilty giving all the clothes give 25% of clothes then you get that extra 1 min out of the 5 min job..image 1 min everyday that means 7mins in a week and 30mins in a month for ME time..:grinning:

    See the positive!!!
    And one more thing many people are good at somethings some maybe fast at cooking..some in cleaning..some laundry!! Just find yours and become a expert and reduce time there..

    Always remember the tasks that you have been doing didn't kill you yet so it means you are doing something right!!
    Its okay to feel overwhelmed but don't give up..
     
  3. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks for asking this query.
    2. Health related queries when posted in appropriate forum would generate many robust answers with merits and demerits dos and don’t s which in turn lead to brain storming session.
    3. Certain prescriptions to be followed in isolation of other practices lest they cancel out the benefits from each other and therefore I do not venture to write any treatment for the present.
    4. When my daughter was young at age between 5 and ten, she was treated by allopathy and then switched to homeopathy. In the latter she had substantial relief though it was a long period of treatment. Yet it was holistic approach in homeo I believe.
    Thanks and Regards.
    God dwells in our breath.
     
    Sweety2019 likes this.
  4. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you. I loved the way you described everything. I am saying it literally. :blush: lots of things in such a brief...:blush:
     
  5. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks for the reply dear....I too like spending time with kids. The only problem is they are too small to understand many things. They cry easily. In the morning I don't get the time to breathe as one after other I have to handle both of them's drama and cry for not going to school or something else like that. I keep telling them stories and find some way out to make them get ready for school. I am not saying this is bad. It's their time for all this but it sometimes makes me feel restless. Otherwise I don't have any restrictions with households. My h don't help but don't even find faults in my work.

    I really love my studies and remain happy when it's going good else I always remain irritated and pile up unnecessary things in my mind. So it's good.

    The problem is for that time when I need to explain small things to kids for long duration. At that time I sometimes shout on them but later feel guilty for behaving like that.
     
  6. malathi0874

    malathi0874 Silver IL'ite

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    Thank u friend for ur comment.
     
  7. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    o_O are you from the cycle manufacturing firm ? And into marketing of the cycle. Saw a similar post in TTC thread and then I see you have replied to so many threads about the cycle .

    Be sure such promotions are allowed in this forum.
     
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2019
    Rihana likes this.
  8. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    @messedup
    I am coming late to your thread but wanted to offer some suggestions.

    You have taken responsibility for each and everything in the house. That is why you feel so run down and ragged.

    Let me tell you what I have observed. When only one person is doing all the work it becomes easy for others to sit on sidelines in supervisory role and criticize. Involve the others in the daily duties. Delegate.

    You should change your mindset from ‘only I have to do everything somehow and adjust somehow’ to ‘ I too am a family member, equal in importance to the other members and leading my life along with all the other family members’. Reread SGBV post from that POV. She takes care of herself first because she values herself. you will get pointers to what you change.

    Another thing I notice is you have excuses for all the other family members ‘ oh MIL is too old, kids are too small, h is too tensed’ and you are stretching yourself for them. The more you stretch the more they will stretch you.

    I don’t see them making excuses for you when you understandably get exhausted and lose patience? Why is this one-sided? You yourself are unconsciously allowing this. You have placed too much expectation on yourself to be perfect, to do everything. You have to change this attitude. Allow yourself to say No. Do what you reasonably can. Let the rest go. If it’s important for the family your h and mil will find a way to make it happen. Don’t interfere. But don’t keep stretching yourself. They will not realize the problem as long as you keep doing that.

    At this stage in life - your first priority is the children as they are too small and need their mother. Next priority is your studies as they will safeguard your future. So continue with that. Look at rest of jobs and stop doing what is not essential. slowly train the other adults to do their own work. For now sounds like MIL is active. If you feel impatient with kids ask MIL to step in and walk away for a quick break. Ask her regularly to help you divert the kids with stories or play with them. If h keeps calling for his work, let him call a few times and go only after you finish what you are doing. Slowly lengthen the response time. If ask reply how much I can do? I was doing x, y etc. It will take time but slowly he will start doing them himself instead of waiting on you.

    Don’t over optimize. Try to outsource, purchase cut veggies, batters etc. 5 Rs ironing is v v small price to pay for few minutes respite and peace of mind. Plus it’s never just 1 shirt or dress is it? Ironing piles up when it’s free and becomes hour long job. And it is tiring.
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2019
    hermitcrab, MindVoice and messedup like this.
  9. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks for the reply dear...what you said is very true and points you mentioned are actually practically possible..will try to go with them. :blush:
     
  10. MlignaFairly

    MlignaFairly Guest

    I think you need to find some object or action that will reassure you.
     

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