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How To Remain Calm....

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by messedup, Sep 20, 2019.

  1. anupama1

    anupama1 Platinum IL'ite

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    Practical suggestions:clap2:
    Life will be very hectic with kids and parents in-law under the same roof. I have been through this..hiring a maid for clothes and dishes and ironwala saved me a lot of time.
     
    KashmirFlower and messedup like this.
  2. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    You really can manage everything in this world. I know I am not doing anything extra. Women who stay at home are doing much more than this. But I remain tensed as getting help from someone is not possible in my case. H has a tiring job and he come back physically and mentally exhausted and can't do anything. For his small tasks too he call me. Mil helps but as per her time and mood. Cannot assign her any daily job. Kids don't listen at once. They just keep playing and creating mess. I do try to make them little responsible but as both are of same age always have something in their mind. Also I have to give sometime to my studies too so I want to sleep early to get some refreshed mind to study. Else I remain sleepy and not able to focus. And for that I need to finish my work on time to be free by atleast 11 or 12. Clubbing of things are not possible as h eats very limited things so I have to cook separately for kids to make them eat other things too. For hiring extra help we don't have such facility here. A maid do come daily for cleaning and dishes but she do this only once. Rest of the time I have to do. For ironing I feel that it's a 5 minutes task and if I give outside they take 5 rs for a single cloth. Kids are small so ironing their uniforms doesn't take much of time. That's why don't find it feasible. I do get free time. Can plan few things at that time. But the problem is kids are with me all the time. In free time too have the task of looking after them. So performing any exercise or meditation may or may not be possible. But can try to involve them too.
     
  3. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    Oh.. no... Is it sarcasm or complement. Whatever it may be, I don't take it, because I am not a superwoman to manage everything. Just that, I am a bit organized, and I do delegate the tasks to others tactfully; hence that's helpful.

    Even that wasn't possible in my case too. H is not used to work at home, and he remained tired or had excuses all the time.
    Situations around us will not always be on our favor. We need to figure out how best we could use them.
    Like in my case, H is not good at the kitchen work, but he is great at gardening, grocery shopping, laundry etc. He is good at doing anything if it is outside of the home. So, I assign these tasks to him and he will do that happily.

    MIL doesn't have to pitch in on routine tasks like cooking or laundry. But based on her mood, she can cut veggies today, sweep the hallway tomorrow, dust the furniture day after tomorrow or put the kids to bed one day. Use her!

    Kids won't listen and follow any routine because they are small. But they need to be trained and taught these basic things.
    If they can't clean up after playing, if they can't take their plates and cups to the sink after eating, if they can't throw garbage to the bin etc..etc... it will be a problem for their life.

    Just as your H, you too have a very tiring job at home. You are physically and mentally exhausted too. And you can't do anything beyond because that can affect your health and sanity.
    When both of you are tired and exhausted, there is not so many solutions. Either you guys need to hire help, services from outside that costs some money OR you guys should share the chore to make sure no one is overtly doing anything.
    It is called basic love and acceptance in a marriage.

    Your H is not suppose to cook a meal or sweep the home or do the laundry daily if he is tired. But he can serve his food, wash his plate, make tea, clean up the area after messing it, take turns in taking care of the kids etc..etc..
    This will give you some rest to focus on something else.

    What are you doing till 11-12 at night?
    Basically everyone finishes dinner by 9.00pm. It is unhealthy if you eat later than that.
    Why can't you close the kitchen by 9.30 the latest?
    What is the big tasks after the closure of kitchen in a home at night?
    Putting kids to sleep or reading a story for them is not a chore. You can do that relaxly and count that as a blessing to spend quality time with kids.
    If you have to study, then ask MIL or H to sit together with kids at their bed till they fall asleep, while you can consider studies.
    If H comes late, let him serve his food from the table, and wash his dishes right there. What's the big deal?
     
    Sweety2019, messedup and Anusha2917 like this.
  4. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Exercising releases endorphins which is a feel good/happiness harmone.
    Get up in the morning and spend just 30 mins running on the threadmill or that cycling like SGBV mentioned or do some yoga, whole day we
     
    messedup likes this.
  5. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    That was a complement. Mil and H can't change. H has different dinner time. Also many times tea time extends a bit when sometimes h come late. Many different things are there daily that make everything late.
     
    sindmani likes this.
  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:Kapalabhatti-
    My friend’s son when approached for cure to constipation was advised by his physician that he should stop forthwith practising it.

    2. He was told possibility of Sudden fast breathing in and out had some suction effect in muscles close to roof of stomach and intestine. He claims better now after cessation of that practice.

    3. I am stating it here not to discourage. Experts say learn from experts in person where scope for correction and better attention to such practices available. Wrong practice of kapalabhatti in stray cases reported to have affected Hypothalamus.
    4. BK Iyengar views on the claims of Baba Ramdev in

    China Yoga Exponent Iyengar Questions Ramdev’s Style of Practice

    Thanks and Regards.

    God - the Great Designer - How could you put incredible capacity into human brain with trillions of Algorithms in play?
     
    Sweety2019 and shravs3 like this.
  7. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:@confused4sure @Anusha2917
    Thanks for clicking the LIKE option evidencing your reading it!
    Regards.
     
  8. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks for posting this sir. I just started recently. I watch YouTube videos and started doing it
     
  9. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Silver IL'ite

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    @Thyagarajan
    Sir can you please suggest any yoga for wheezing problem?
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  10. malathi0874

    malathi0874 Silver IL'ite

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    After sending kids to school, do works in small interval with full concentration, practise yoga, pranayama, meditation, aerobic exercises,
    take light food in regular intervals, and sleep whenever to got time, take plenty of fruits, fluids which gives u energy and keep out u from anxiety.
    play with ur kids, which gives u good relaxation and urself and ur kid happy.
    moreover be happy always. god bless u.
     
    messedup likes this.

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