1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

How To Organise Potluck’s With Il Side People

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Needtobestrong, Oct 14, 2019.

  1. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,088
    Likes Received:
    3,571
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    If all attempts at reasoning fail then just leave the house for the day and get some spa treatments done.
    But seriously, organizing for several families at your home on a regular basis is nuts, especially when they don't or won't understand the concept of how much work the hostess has.
    My parents and relatives in their age group frequently have get-together at their homes, about 15-25 people at a time. They arrange for catering who will bring everything from food to even extra tables, chairs and utensils if needed. People can then enjoy without putting undue pressure on the host.
    Suggest this for next time.
     
  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,088
    Likes Received:
    3,571
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    If all attempts at reasoning fail then just leave the house for the day and get some spa treatments done.
    But seriously, organizing for several families at your home on a regular basis is nuts, especially when they don't or won't understand the concept of how much work the hostess has.
    My parents and relatives in their age group frequently have get-together at their homes, about 15-25 people at a time. They arrange for catering who will bring everything from food to even extra tables, chairs and utensils if needed. People can then enjoy without putting undue pressure on the host.
    Suggest this for next time.
     
    Needtobestrong likes this.
  3. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,671
    Likes Received:
    1,605
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    ok ... last potluck happened a year ago .correct me if I am wrong...one party a year for relatives I think is ok ....


    If you are not up to it , then as some one suggested have a picnic in a local park .... or have everyone pay before hand , get the food catered to the park ....

    but here also need to be careful to collect money from all those who are coming otherwise one person will end bearing the money ....
     
    Needtobestrong likes this.
  4. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,689
    Likes Received:
    3,021
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Trying to reason with them is useless. It will be misinterpreted as you being a spoilsport or always complaining and nagging.

    Suggest alternate venue but be prepared to have it rejected. Actually in India people don’t understand concept of potluck. If you are hosting you are expected to provide the food. Plan accordingly.

    The only thing you can control in this is yourself and how much work you do. So strictly decide what you will do and do only that. Don’t be tempted. Strictly Leave the rest. As someone correctly pointed out- if needed leave the mess for a day. Let them notice it and feel the impact. Then they will realize there is a problem. Miraculously then suggestions would pour in.

    Don’t leave the house on the day of the party. It will be misinterpreted and all the problems in the potluck will be blamed on you and your absence. Be present but 2-3 days before develop some neck pain or hand pain, complain a lot, put balm, make husband massage it etc. then on party day make it clear you can’t do the extra work because of your pain. Just do the limited work and be silent about the mess and the undone work. be patient. No I told you so etc. if asked, keep repeating ‘yeah last year also so much work. I only did but now alas! I am unable to.’ Only talk don’t do. Let them figure out a way to solve it.
     
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2019
    Needtobestrong likes this.
  5. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    861
    Likes Received:
    2,183
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    I have to agree with @IL86 here. The time to be diplomatic is long gone. Obviously no one seems to get the hint and no one seems to care either. Whoever has problems with disposable dinnerware should wash all the dishes .
     
    Needtobestrong and shravs3 like this.
  6. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,360
    Likes Received:
    4,503
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female
    May be OP can also arrange some games like whoever cleans more vessels and also tidy up the place faster they are the winners or get extra dessert
    :beer-toast1:
    I know it’s too much! But if every time OP has to slog in the house and kitchen then no other go ;)
     
    Needtobestrong likes this.
  7. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    640
    Likes Received:
    725
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi..i don’t expect maid to do extra work for free.I also have consideration for poor needy person ..But in my area maids are very arrogant. Even if I offer extra money maid won’t be ready to do little extra work even if it takes less than half hour...I had told her that I’ll pay her equivalent to one full days salary if She comes again in evening to wash vessels n help with little cleaning up work in kitchen only...even though it’s more...also told her I would keep aside fresh food for her so she could eat or take home...I requested her so much she said ok but she didn’t turn up...last minute when I called her up also she made stupid excuses to not come....similar thing happened with my previous maid also...she took extra money still didn’t turn up in d evening...
     
    Sunshine04 likes this.
  8. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    640
    Likes Received:
    725
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    :laughing:
     
  9. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    640
    Likes Received:
    725
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Thank you all for replies..your suggestions are useful..i didn’t get time, to reply individually to all..the thing is that no one generally likes cooking food in such large quantity n bringing...that causes the main prob..just for namesake to attend if they bring one dish ..that too family of three people bring one small dish sufficient for two or three people then what can be done...and all want to use steel plates and glasses it adds to my burden...
    Even if we arrange caterers the cost involved is very very high..still it leaves Lot of mess to be sorted out later. I’m not interested in all that spending..
    I m not that kind of person who doesn’t want to mingle or socialise with others..just get irritated with hosting very often.
    I like the suggestions given by few people to arrange it in a different location ..or in other relatives place..at least I can have fun without worrying about chores...
    Even if it’s at other relatives home, helping them to clean up or prepare tea n serve etc takes far less effort than me doing same clean up at my home..
     
    shravs3 likes this.

Share This Page