How to manage things when Living with Inlaws

Re: hi friends

Hi Smilemoon....
I can imagine how you feel. Its not easy living with others, specially with DH's family.
Did you talk about the prospects of you moving abroad with your DH? If not, you should.

 

Re: hi friends

Smilemoon,

It is happening in most of the households in a joint family system.Its natural for inlaws to implement double standards with respect to DIL's.It is difficult to make them understand and fight for equal rights.Let the smart people stay smart!

Please ignore them and proceed!I know that this is not the solution.Sadly,there is no real solution!

 

What do you mean by people taking you for granted? could you explain?

SmileMoon

You said you adjust well with your inlaws. so there is a good side to the situation too. Now if we read the whole post of yours, seems like the issue is more about how you had to stay back at home and not being able to work or have some freedom. So work on that. i.e talk to your husband and say you would start looking for jobs. You can leave the kid at day care part time or your inlaws can take care of them and you can take up a part time job or a temp job. Tell your husband that you would feel more active and happy if you are allowed to pursue something of your interest.

Also why dont you just go out of the house for a while during evenings. Make some friends. All of you go out with your kids as a play date. Get some break from sitting at home.

Basically you have too many things on your mind thats what is spoiling your peace. here it doesnt seem like inlaws are the main issue.

 

Please see this thread http://www.indusladies.com/forums/r...ws/106888-kids-and-inlaws-interference-2.html

Just similar problem like yours. Point is if you keep cribbing and worrying that THEY are not allowing you to do something, you would never resolve anything. Rather stand up and say , I am going out, take the kid and go. Inform them before going and just go out. Let them cry and complain for that day. Next day do the same thing. Go for a walk or to a near by park etc. If your husband asks you tell him that everyone needs some air, and you need some personal time so that you can get energized. Dont complain about his parents to him. Just say this half hour or 1 hr of evening walk would make you more active and energetic. and also your kid would love outdoors and learn more.

Take one step at a time. Dont see the big picture and get scared as to how to reach there. First step is going out of the house either for a walk or to a park. Try that

 

In your case, I feel the best option is to get a job and keep busy. When you are at home all day with these people and have nothing to do, you feel depressed. Moreover, since you are well educated and capable of getting a job, why not get back to work. If taking care of the kid is a problem for your in-laws, suggest moving to your parent's place and getting a job there.

If you choose to be with your kid for some more time, why not start pursue some job-oriented course so that you can take up a job after 6-12 months.

 

heyy i understand your position. its tooo dificult... i feel really pity for you.. please ask your DH to take you where he is...