1. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Take the 100 Days Positivity Challenge : Join Here
    Dismiss Notice

How To Manage Expenses When Family Visits You?

Discussion in 'Travel' started by anivijay, Apr 2, 2019.

  1. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    954
    Likes Received:
    2,291
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    If BIL is coming along he will not be comfortable making you spend on their sight seeing I feel. You can tell them that you will spend for everything and later you can divide that amount by 2 or 3 (depends on whether you want your other sister to pay )and ask them to transfer that amount to you .
    Obviously you can't include your mommy in this.
    I do that all the time with my sister when it's a family trip. I spend first and equally divide the amount that we spend for common stuff like food, travel etc . Shopping is her expense separately. And we don't include parents in that sharing . (however this doesn't work with my husband's siblings though) . You can still try telling her this. .
     
    anivijay and Afresh like this.
  2. Afresh

    Afresh Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    340
    Likes Received:
    551
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    In the case ,your mom isn't able to convey the issue, you can text your sister asking innocuously about " if she is planning to move around and visit some places closeby or if she'll be staying at home with you guys all the while" , then maybe the discussion could open up :)
    All the best dear!
    Hope you all have an enjoyable time
     
    Rihana likes this.
  3. dnormx01

    dnormx01 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    301
    Likes Received:
    526
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    You could send website links asking them to decide the plan and matter of factly explaining that they will have to buy the tickets. Like just say, hey would you want to visit Xyz- it’s so many pounds, so don’t forget to budget for the 3 of your tickets when you are exchanging currency or something of that sort. Another idea is to share Groupon links or other such discount coupons sites links and suggest they get the tickets in India itself so they wouldn’t need to carry that much currency with them.

    If there are any full day theme parks etc, send them for those, and since mom is aged and cannot move around much, you both could stay back home and enjoy your me time.

    Enjoy your family’s vacation beyond everything:)
     
    anivijay likes this.
  4. anivijay

    anivijay Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    134
    Likes Received:
    166
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks for all your replies. I'll talk to sister tomorrow and tell her. she can go on package trips with her husband at her expenses. I'll take them to London for 2 days and a safari park/theme park for another day. Remaining days, she can plan and go with her husband. I'll babysit her baby if required, with my mom ( I am not a familiar face for her baby. hence , Mom)..
     
    Afresh likes this.
  5. anivijay

    anivijay Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    134
    Likes Received:
    166
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    So, Mom and one sister arrived 15 days back. Another sister's family arrived a week later. Me and husband had to go to airport to pick her up after our work. Husband travels 4hrs each day. They didn't share the ticket with us. Didn't call us once landing. We tried to call her. But she didn't connect to Wifi. So, they waited 30mins in airport. Sister is upset, because we were not excited on their arrival but they usually be very excited to receive us in India.

    As I told them, we cannot go to any place together. Husband takes sister's family one day and I am taking mom and another sister the next day. She has been telling she shouldn't have come. Its only because my mom asked her to come, she came. She spent 2.5L but there is nothing. She is not going to visit again, so why me and husband can't take leave and take them out? Why can't we hire another taxi and all go together? This trip is a disaster.

    One day after work, we had garlic bread and chicken nuggets for dinner. on seeing that BIL was about to cry it seems (that's what my sister says). There is nothing to eat in my house( I am simply throwing away rotten strawberries every day :(, there are apples, bananas, oranges, raspberries, biscuits, cookies). When we visit India, she used to spend so much on my kids.

    We are taking them out. We are paying for the attractions. I told her if she is bored, she can go and explore nearby places with her husband. She is here with us for 5 days. we took her to a mountain rail trip one day ( 80 mins ride on mountain didn't fascinate them ). Took every body to nice restaurant other day. I had to buy a pram for her baby because she didn't bring one. She said she would give the price I said that's ok. I don't need.

    Yesterday sister's family visited a local attraction. I didn't give them money for bus fare. But gave her my previous tickets that she could use for re-entry in attraction. She forgot to take the tickets and buy them again.

    Yesterday she was telling like she didn't like it here, she wants to go home.

    In these 5 days, mutton for one day, Chicken for one day, Took them outside 1 day for dinner, 2 days vegetarian food. Stocked fruits and biscuits in the kitchen. Dosa batter in fridge for breakfast. BTW, madam came with literally 4 rava laddus. she said she didn't have time to buy. I don't understand how much time it would take to buy a kg of savouries, when she visited the shop to buy those 4 laddus.

    Now accusing me, that I used to bring loads of eatables to India. But nothing of that sort available in my home to eat. I am very calculative but she is generous on my kids.

    Told, husband would take her and her husband to London this week end. Already spend more than a grand in 10 days. what else could I do?

    Am I not a good sister? Am I missing anything? Really feel bad.
     
  6. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,831
    Likes Received:
    1,933
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    So , is your mother still silent?

    I would say not to do further favors to repair the damage thats done..Let her remain dissatisfied.The efforts you take in terms of work, time and money is never going to satisfy her because she has simply decided to not understand anything.

    In any case, it should be your mom trying to put some sense into her head and make her behave decently until she leaves. Speak to your mom about your situation and how embarrassing it will be in front of your husband.
     
    anivijay likes this.
  7. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,493
    Likes Received:
    1,856
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female
    Take her to Indian stores and let her buy Haldiram or that kind of snacks. Let her buy what she needs to cook for her H and kid for the whole week. If her H can't eat bread, she can cook something.
     
    anivijay and shravs3 like this.
  8. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    578
    Likes Received:
    1,381
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    Your sister is one entitled brat ! If you hesitate to communicate she will walk all over you. Hope the four rava ladoos were good at least :smirk:
     
    ramya8085, anivijay and shravs3 like this.
  9. ramya8085

    ramya8085 Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    35
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    Am I not a good sister? Am I missing anything? Really feel bad.[/QUOTE]

    :roflmao:

    lol.

    you are not bad at all. do not be harsh on yourself at all.

    sorry for that big smile.

    this brings back so many memories. i grew up middle class in delhi. this is the 90s . my father's and mom relatives are from tamil nadu. so almost every year there used to be someone who will visit my home. this was the time when there were no cell phones and STD was really expensive. We did have a phone.

    the relatives will come to my home and make STD out of state calls from delhi to tamil nadu. they used to expect us to take them everywhere

    the phone bills used to be really high. my Dad saw that for 1 year and next year when someone came, he used to take out connection and either lock it or hide it. then for roaming and site seeing, dad used to take them only 1 day on sunday after the 2nd year

    dad's brothers used to scold him and acted all super like your sister.

    because when we used to visit their home, amenities like phone were locked in their bedroom.


    i was little around and used to find my Dad unreasonable, now all grown up. everything fits. :) :)
     
    anivijay and saileela85 like this.
  10. ramya8085

    ramya8085 Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    35
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    i love rava ladoos. could never master that skill. my mom's sister used to make awesome and i used to comment and make my mom jealous.
     
    SinghManisha likes this.

Share This Page