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how to make them understand

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by gowriav, Jun 18, 2015.

  1. gowriav

    gowriav Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi all
    I need an urgent solution for my prob.I am havg 7 months baby and I started to going office from past 2 weeks.we are having our own house in city for temporary basis took an rented house near to my office.Till 7 months my mom and in law will stay with us on shift basis.
    Now the prob is my in law is not good enough to take care of kid in my absense. She spent know how to prepare and introduce new foods to him.as they were grown their son with biscuits cerelac. But I am giving my son rice kanji veg purees soup juices fruits like etc .I need to give few days training to her to prepare each food and handling kid.
    But for introducing new food is a challenge I can't be in home every time to guide her.i couldn't get any guidence from her for taking care of kid like food,simple home remedies, routine to be practiced everything instead I am getting all inputs from my mom and guiding her
    My mom is ready to take care of kid so I thought for few more months till he get used with all food let my mom take care and on weekends wl go to in laws place. Now prob is how to convey to my in laws.
     
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  2. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Do not buy cerelac or biscuits if you are not willing to feed them to your kid. Also ask your husband not to buy them. Clearly tell everyone at home that you are uncertain about these artificial foods given the recent allegations about their quality (Eg Maggie, Nestle products). Show them TV news and articles if they are ignorant about it.
    More so, strictly tell the same to your husband.

    I doubt whether your MIL will go to an extend to buy certain unhealthy food by her self to feed the child at your absence. Even if that happens, clearly find the evidence to confront. So that it never repeats.

    Prepare whatever the preferred food for the kid, and make it ready to eat. Your MIL will have to only heat it up and serve.

    Introduce the new food during weekends while you are at home.

    My sister and I used to feed the kid some full meals for B'fast before we leave the office. Often it is early break fast. So, we don't give milk to the kids as they wake up. If so, they would refuse to eat early. Milk can follow the b'fast.

    We cut some apples/fruits or some boiled veggies for the kids to eat at 10 am.

    We cook rice and meat/fish specifically for the kids before we leave for the office. The care takers (mom or MIL) will have to only heat it up. Kids may be fussy to eat lunch at grand-parents. Nevertheless, we give alternate food like yogurt, nuts and fruits in the afternoon around 3 along with some milk to cover it up. Then at night, we cook some hot pasta, chapati or rotti and make the kid have good dinner at 6-7 pm.
    Then they have a glass of milk at 9 pm before they sleep.

    This way, you can ensure your kid has 2-3 great meals. So, one not-so-great meal wouldn't affect them at all. To cover it up, they have fruits, veg, nuts, soups and milk in between. So they are not hungry either.

    Don't force elders to cook and feed the kid as we would do. Instead you prepare it, and make it ready. Use the fridge and microwave at your best.
     
    3 people like this.
  3. tulip2012

    tulip2012 Silver IL'ite

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    well said @SGBV.
    @gowriav it is always better to feed the kid when you are around and to cook and keep so atht they just need to reheat.
     
  4. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    If you don't have confidence in inlaws,Don't call them for childcare ever.

    No point in calling them and then criticize everything they do. You cannot dictate everything to the people who are helping you out. They are not unpaid servants.


    in the event you end up calling them. Prepare the baby food for the day and go.
     
  5. coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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    I think op needs advice on how to convey to inlaws tht op will prefer her mom to take care of her child instead of them....
    Op, may be you can tell them tht your mother wants to come now as she has some commitment after some month...at tht time ur mom will be unavailable....so they can come later...
     
  6. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    How is their biscuits and Cerelac grown son now doing?

    Prepare food for your child, and hope child will be fed that. You cannot 'train' grandparents.

    The comparison you have already made about their parenting skills does not bode well for the 'shift' basis arrangement.
     
    5 people like this.

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